pretending to be'normal'

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pretending to be'normal'

Postby gd13 » Sun Sep 11, 2016 8:25 am

hello
does anyone else ever feel they have to pretend they are 'normal' to fit in with other people and especially family?
i have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia arthritis psoriasis acute anxiety and depression. many times i feel i am expected to respond in a 'normal' way as my family dont seem to want to understand my conditions and i feel like the black sheep of the family all the time. i know this is a symptom of depression. but i hate being perceived as a nasty person. i have found that with the progression of the fibro i am more inclined to be blunt and less tolerant of bs. does that make me a bad person? sorry but am feeling very low after much criticism lately and need to know someone out there understands and will not judge me
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Re: pretending to be'normal'

Postby funny bone 23 » Mon Sep 12, 2016 1:37 pm

Hi , if I can make you feel a bit better, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia over 3 years ago, I have encountered tons of people who give so much B.S. it would make your toes curl :yikes: . It is so hard to pretend to be normal when inside every thing is screaming that is not how you feel, my family are good, they do understand that I am now what I am, I still have my days when I know they mean well, but they are asking me " well if you take some more vitamins and tried this cream i have read about you would be feeling so much better by now" :roll: , I did try one of the creams that was I was told about and it made my skin scream, as the fibro has made me more sensitive to creams and too much noise, light, ect, ect, I try to count to ten and try to hold my inner frustrations in check,but :nono: some times it is just to hard, I AM WHO I AM and I DONT always like myself, I am not the person i used to be, put me out with friends and family, I would be the first to jig to music, laugh, dance, go out clubbing, everything that "normal" family does, now I cant dance, jig to music, go out , unless I rest all day, then pay for it the next day, you are very brave, you have more to deal with than me, what is "normal" anyway :?: no family is ""normal" mine is definatly not :-) , fibro tests us every day in no matter what we do, I hope I have made you feel a bit better, I hope that in some small way I have made you smile, we all are all the same, some are just in different packets, I am like a tin of paint, I do just what it says on my tin, LOL that is how I have to be to make it easier for me to understand how I really feel, take care , hugs
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Re: pretending to be'normal'

Postby LindyM66 » Tue Sep 13, 2016 7:02 am

Yip, I think we've all been in those situations, where we have to pretend. It's not for ourselves either, it's to keep others happy.
I've discovered that there is much ignorance about fibro. I told my friends, family, work colleagues , that in order to understand fibro, and how it can affect a person, it would be helpful if they educated themselves about it.
Quite frankly, I no longer pretend I'm fine when I'm not.
And the number one pet hate, from well meaning people - " oh, I hope you get well soon". I know they mean well, I truly do, but it shows their ignorance when they make that statement. I find its worse coming from close friends/family, as I preceive statements like that, to reveal that they haven't actually bothered to read up on fibro. I used to find that very annoying. If they informed themselves, they perhaps wouldn't make off the cuff, STUPID statements.

As my granny used to say, "There's nowt as queer as folk". Ain't that the truth :-)

Much Love
Lindy x
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Re: pretending to be'normal'

Postby gd13 » Tue Sep 13, 2016 10:04 am

thank you so much for your replies. i cried and smiled just to know you understand what out perception of normal is. it is really hard when you are told fibro doesnt exist. thats its all in my head. that i am lazy and dont try hard enough. when i responded equally bluntly about suffering from chronic pain 24/7 i got in so much trouble with the rest of the family. i feel as if i am constantly askng for forgiveness for simply being me. god knows i have and no daoubt still am grieving for who i was and what i was capable of once upon a time. but criticsm and lack of understanding just makes it all worse and contributes to those awful times when it all seems too much to cope with. i shut myself off then as i cant take any more. i have been honest about such times. but then im made to feel guilty for being out of touch grrrr....
i know im whingeing again. but your comments and support mean a lot and make me realise that its not me whois at fault but those who profess to care for and love me. thats somewhat of a revelation for me. so many many thanks.
nowt so queer as folk...lancs or yorks? i know that one too!
anyway i appreciate what you say and your kind comments x
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Re: pretending to be'normal'

Postby LindyM66 » Wed Sep 14, 2016 7:36 am

GD, my granny also had another saying, which I personally find appropriate for rude or ignorant people

"Sometimes people need hit with a ball of their own sh*te"!

Put yourself first, and pay no heed to the ignorance.

Much Love
Lindy x
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Re: pretending to be'normal'

Postby dotty lotty » Wed Sep 14, 2016 8:00 am

Your granny was a wise woman Lindy. :teddy-bear:
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