Painintheneck’s top 10 symptoms

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Painintheneck’s top 10 symptoms

Postby Painintheneck » Fri Jun 15, 2018 3:37 pm

Following my recent posts to this forum, I began thinking of how I would actually list my symptoms in some sort of order, if ever asked. I came up with the following very unoriginal ‘Top Ten’ format.

So it’s any Saturday afternoon forty years ago and you’re listening to ‘FM’ radio ;-) That blaring unmistakable music, “At The Sign Of The Swinging Cymbal”, introduces the countdown and you hear Alan ‘Fluff’ Freeman’s perky voice say:

Alright, pill poppers! And away we go with the current top ten symptoms, as compiled by Painintheneck”….

Tinnitus with Hearing Loss – once a number one, it’s been in the top ten for thirty-eight years. And look at that B side, Brain Fade and Poor Cognition could do well in its own right.

Migraine with Aura – this veteran’s positively pre-his-toric! Also a former number one. After over fifty years it’s the grand-daddy. Re-released as a double A-side with Diplopia and Blurred Near-Vision ten years ago, it shows no sign of leaving soon.

Functional Slow Gut Transit with Constipation – a fairly recent entry previously released as IBS-C, came straight into the top ten eight years ago and hasn’t moved since.

PSVT with Idiopathic Arrhythmia – yet another earlier number one and a much reworked later cover of that old perennial Palpitations dating from way back when.

Nausea with Stomach Discomfort – this one’s been in and out of the top ten more times than DFS have had a sale. Quick! Fetch me some sodium bicarbonate.

Vitiligo with 75% Loss of Melanin – we never saw this coming, a real stealth bomber if ever there was one, creeping up the chart since nineteen-ninety-nine.

Psoriasis with Pruritus – a similar story to Vitiligo and on the same Autoimmune label, it just goes on and on and on – there ain’t no stopping it now!

Generalised Anxiety with Agoraphobia – into the top three and a bit of an odd one out in this chart. Taken from the album It’s all in your mind, if you don’t mind, it had been around for quite a while before anyone noticed. And now we do mind!

Chronic Musculoskeletal Pain and Weakness with Fatigue – well, what can we say, it smashed its way into the top ten a decade ago, snapping at the heels of their much earlier marathon hit Neurasthenia, and it looks like it’s got the legs to get to number one, who knows? Anyone else noticed any simlarity to their Eighties’ novelty release Myalgic Encephalomyelitis, or is it just ME?

Earache and Throat Spasms with Neuropathic Pain – and here it is, for the fifth year running, a monster hit that just won’t budge from the top spot. It might start off deceptively simple, but by crikey, once it gets going you’re in for one hell of a ride!

And the ones just bubbling under:-

Hypervigilance with Excessive Startle Reflex – a double A side with Hyperacusis. Watch out Tinnitus, it’s after your spot.

Chronic Rhinitis with Catarrh – it’s doing ok, not to be sneezed at.

The Jitters with Alcohol and Caffeine Intolerance – on with your bopping boots and let’s get jigging!

Rapid Sleep Onset with Nightmares! – another double A side with Sleep Paralysis. Remember their last hit Myoclonic Jerks?

Short Attention Span with Irritability – a modern, er, thing, y’know……. remix of that oldie-but-goody, ALRIGHT!!!

The music plays and fades out….
Painintheneck
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Re: Painintheneck’s top 10 symptoms

Postby *Lisa* » Fri Jun 15, 2018 10:06 pm

Best list iv seen :lol: in the way you have put it :lol: wow a lot of symptoms there but then we all seem to have a long ole list.
As a Public Moderator & Admin of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia...Lisa
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Re: Painintheneck’s top 10 symptoms

Postby Painintheneck » Sat Jun 16, 2018 2:08 pm

Yes, the FM sufferers I know each have their own unique ‘top ten’. The truth behind any ‘top ten’ of symptoms is never likely to be amusing. For me, mine is not really even a ‘top ten’, just a pile of number twos :-o .
Painintheneck
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Posts: 20
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2018 2:54 pm
Location: England

Re: Painintheneck’s top 10 symptoms

Postby *Lisa* » Sat Jun 16, 2018 7:36 pm

I also have a top ten of illnesses that the fibro has caused. With the severe stiffness for so many years it has worn out my back, my discs, my spine etc... I know have loads a problems with that :shock: my recent one is a herniation disc that is compressing the nerves in the spinal canal which resulted then in nerve damage :shock:
As a Public Moderator & Admin of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia...Lisa
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