Direct payments - social services.

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Direct payments - social services.

Postby Pretzelnut » Sat Jul 06, 2013 9:22 pm

This may not be in the right place, I'm happy for a mod to move it.

I'm a single mum to 3 kids, 10, 5 and 3.
My son (10) is a "child in need" as far as social services are concerned as he has a lot of issues. Neither social services, home link worker, school, school psychologist, CAHMS, etc have been of any use, all they do is pass him around and I'm lucky if social services ring me once a month to see how I'm coping.

Some days I manage well, other days I rely on my son a lot to help me with basics like washing, drying, folding, hoovering, light cooking lile beans on toast, emptying bins, putting my other 2 children in the bath and then to bed.

I HATE doing this, I have NO friends or family to lean on for help. I struggle in social situations, which makes it incredibly hard to get out and about to make friends. I feel very isolated.

Most times I will let everything build up rather than ask my son for help, I tell myself ill be better tomorrow, so ill do it then but of course tomorrow never comes. My son has his own issues which ive been desperately trying to get assesed (aspergers has been mentioned) and sorted but he can be aggresive and violent, 9 times out of 10 if I ask for his help he will trash his bedroom, kick doors etc. social services say its normal for a child his age to have household Jobs and I agree, as far as they are concerned he's just testing me!! . But when I'm having a bad flare he can take on an adults full responsibilities whilst still having to go to school, and I hate it. I just want him to be a child, having fun climbing trees with his friends and playing on his Xbox, i'm ruining his life. I already know he's resentful. He says I must really hate him, I obviously love the girls more cos they never help.

My son is getting NO support or help and neither am I.
My kids miss out on so much because I'm either too tired or freaked out a about going to new / strange places.

I've read about something called "direct payments", and that some people have managed to get payments direct from social services to employ people to assist them in being a parent to their children, ie get them ready for school, take them to school, my son has begun to refuse to go, prepare meals, take them to scouts / dance class etc, help with cleaning and other household duties.

I know my son would improve as would I if I had a bit of support in my home. And not just several agencies who randomly pop in to cat h up but don't actually do anything to help.

Would be great to employ a positive male role model doing "normal" things that my son could look up to and talk too.

I have my benefits advisor coming out next week and I'd like to be as informed as I can be, when I ask her about it. So if you have any experiences, links etc. I'd be greatful. Reading is about all I can do right now.
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Re: Direct payments - social services.

Postby denys » Sat Jul 06, 2013 11:04 pm try this link it will at least let you see what you need to do :fingerscrossed: :fingerscrossed: :fingerscrossed: and good luck

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