Direct payments - social services.

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Direct payments - social services.

Postby Pretzelnut » Sat Jul 06, 2013 9:22 pm

This may not be in the right place, I'm happy for a mod to move it.

I'm a single mum to 3 kids, 10, 5 and 3.
My son (10) is a "child in need" as far as social services are concerned as he has a lot of issues. Neither social services, home link worker, school, school psychologist, CAHMS, etc have been of any use, all they do is pass him around and I'm lucky if social services ring me once a month to see how I'm coping.

Some days I manage well, other days I rely on my son a lot to help me with basics like washing, drying, folding, hoovering, light cooking lile beans on toast, emptying bins, putting my other 2 children in the bath and then to bed.

I HATE doing this, I have NO friends or family to lean on for help. I struggle in social situations, which makes it incredibly hard to get out and about to make friends. I feel very isolated.

Most times I will let everything build up rather than ask my son for help, I tell myself ill be better tomorrow, so ill do it then but of course tomorrow never comes. My son has his own issues which ive been desperately trying to get assesed (aspergers has been mentioned) and sorted but he can be aggresive and violent, 9 times out of 10 if I ask for his help he will trash his bedroom, kick doors etc. social services say its normal for a child his age to have household Jobs and I agree, as far as they are concerned he's just testing me!! . But when I'm having a bad flare he can take on an adults full responsibilities whilst still having to go to school, and I hate it. I just want him to be a child, having fun climbing trees with his friends and playing on his Xbox, i'm ruining his life. I already know he's resentful. He says I must really hate him, I obviously love the girls more cos they never help.

My son is getting NO support or help and neither am I.
My kids miss out on so much because I'm either too tired or freaked out a about going to new / strange places.

I've read about something called "direct payments", and that some people have managed to get payments direct from social services to employ people to assist them in being a parent to their children, ie get them ready for school, take them to school, my son has begun to refuse to go, prepare meals, take them to scouts / dance class etc, help with cleaning and other household duties.

I know my son would improve as would I if I had a bit of support in my home. And not just several agencies who randomly pop in to cat h up but don't actually do anything to help.

Would be great to employ a positive male role model doing "normal" things that my son could look up to and talk too.

I have my benefits advisor coming out next week and I'd like to be as informed as I can be, when I ask her about it. So if you have any experiences, links etc. I'd be greatful. Reading is about all I can do right now.
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Re: Direct payments - social services.

Postby denys » Sat Jul 06, 2013 11:04 pm try this link it will at least let you see what you need to do :fingerscrossed: :fingerscrossed: :fingerscrossed: and good luck

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Re: Direct payments - social services.

Postby *Lisa* » Sun Jul 07, 2013 9:52 pm

I just thinking off hand here.

I know you will need a social services assessment, this will then go to a board of decision makers to see if your entiled to any payements and how much is to be awarded and also within this assessment they should (may) also look into helping you and your son.

I have a friend with 2 boys one has aspergas the other autistic both also having ADHD

I know that son no1 has a support worker (male) who comes a few times a month (parents split) and takes him on outings. They have been to a football match and on bike rides. The support worker also looks after the family in the way of there needs and support (mum now attends a support group for autism and has been on a parenting course and has been offered home help) They have also helped in gettin DLA (LRM/HRC)

No2 son (autism) is with dad and he gets no help within the home (dad seems to be able to manage atm) BUT son no2 has a psychologist and social worker who work dad in supporting him in, in his education (he attends a special needs school and he is now statemented) Son no2 also has DLA (HRM/MRC)

Now i can also say that before sons diagnoses nothing was put into plan for either.

So i strongly advice you speak with your GP for a referal to a pedeotrician at your local hospital and then go from there. The process was a long one for both boys but soon as a diagnoses was made everything was put into place.

It sounds like you have been going round in circles but with nothing set in stone so you can get the help and support you both need and so you will need to stress this with yout GP (in case u have not) and hopefully your GP can help

Are the social aware of your sons agression? this is a big part of aspergas/autism

good luck hope all goes well.
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