Boss's attitude

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Boss's attitude

Postby Helhit » Tue Apr 29, 2014 5:25 pm

Hi I this is my first post. I have been diagnosed with FM for a month and boy has it been a shock.
I am very lucky as my husband is just so understanding and everyone at work has been great. All apart from my boss.
I have had a flare this morning and phoned to say could they give me a couple of hours to get myself sorted and I'll be in. I was asked why did I think I'd be better in 2 hours and that they'd be short staffed because of me.
I have had occupational health make recommendations, but manager has not bothered reading it thoroughly.
I staggered in feeling dreadful and after half and hour had to go upstairs for a lie down (which is one of the recommendations).
My boss did not acknowledge that I'd arrived and I really felt like I was putting it on.
I've previously been off 6 weeks with sciatica and her attitude was the same then so really I should have expected it.
My question is when do you know not to go in and how to get them to understand how changeable the illness is. It's so hard to tell if the morning pains are going to ease or not.
Fibro is like the wind. You can't see it and when it flares up it knocks you off your feet!
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Re: Boss's attitude

Postby Garyl » Tue Apr 29, 2014 5:44 pm

Your boss sounds a right pratt, you cannot make anyone who refuses to see Fibromyalgia for what it is a bad and dreadful illness, and to get them to understand what a flare up is and how it can affect you.

If the manager will not read the report and reccomendations of a occupational therapist, shows me the manager should not be in the position they are in.

Can you not go above the managers head and explain to a higher up the problems you are facing?
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Re: Boss's attitude

Postby zoomie » Tue Apr 29, 2014 6:33 pm

I'm afraid this type of ignorance is typical :(
Is it a small company? ACAS might be able to help, if it's a bigger company do they have a HR dept?
For advice you can't beat the CAB, they can also mediate with your boss of needed to work out something that suits you and works for your boss, obviously it would be better if he could read the info you have given him without being pursued into it :roll:
There is no rhyme or reason with fibromyalgia, so it's difficult to know when you will need to be in late or need a day off.
I'm sorry I'm not much help hon, if you need a chat you can pm me xxx
Fibromyalgia comes in many shapes, sizes and abilities... DON'T DISCRIMINATE!!!!
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Re: Boss's attitude

Postby daisyp59 » Tue Apr 29, 2014 7:34 pm

Hi, I haven't posted on these boards before, but your post is very similar to my situation. I was diagnosed with Fibro about 3½years ago and at the moment I am getting a little worse. Over the last 12 months I have had 12 days off work and they have now taken me to second stage disciplinary, any more absences and I will lose my job. My doctor has signed me off sick for four weeks whilst I fight their decision, with some fantastic help from my partner and a couple of other people. I had a flare up early last year due to losing my mother, and they disciplined me for that time off also. They say they understand, but they don't, they have no idea, despite my telling them, that I have to fight every morning just to turn up at work. They acknowledge I work hard and do a very good job, but that obviously counts for nothing. I just feel that I am having to cope with the Fibro constantly and also have to be like other employees who are young and healthy. I wish you luck with your boss, maybe his attitude may change.
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Re: Boss's attitude

Postby Helhit » Wed Apr 30, 2014 8:08 am

Thank you for your replies. It's scary enough handling the symptoms on a day to day basis, let alone when you have a flare.
I am dealing with the emotions of being worried about losing my job due to fm, which makes me push myself to go in even on the bad days. But after yesterday it seems it doesn't matter to them that I feel dreadful abd still went in to help colleagues. So now I'm thinking I'm going to look after myself instead.
I'm supposed to have a weekly well being one to one which hasn't happened yet. The occ health lady put in report that my targets should be reduced, so I mentioned that to be told it's only a suggestion and made out it would be soooo difficult to get it done, that I didn't take it further.
But I certainly am now!!
I do have a union, so I'm going to toughen up and tell them I need everything putting in place that has been recommended and then if it doesn't happen I'll take the unions advice.
Fibro is like the wind. You can't see it and when it flares up it knocks you off your feet!
Helhit
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Re: Boss's attitude

Postby SchroedingersCat » Wed Apr 30, 2014 9:04 am

Don't bank on mornings getting any easier. I've been diagnosed for 2 years+ now, suffering for about 4-5 years, and not had a day off due to FM yet, because quite frankly, if I went in late or stayed home every morning that I feel like death, I'd have to give up work.
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Re: Boss's attitude

Postby carolad » Wed Apr 30, 2014 10:38 am

Helhit wrote:Thank you for your replies. It's scary enough handling the symptoms on a day to day basis, let alone when you have a flare.
I am dealing with the emotions of being worried about losing my job due to fm, which makes me push myself to go in even on the bad days. But after yesterday it seems it doesn't matter to them that I feel dreadful abd still went in to help colleagues. So now I'm thinking I'm going to look after myself instead.
I'm supposed to have a weekly well being one to one which hasn't happened yet. The occ health lady put in report that my targets should be reduced, so I mentioned that to be told it's only a suggestion and made out it would be soooo difficult to get it done, that I didn't take it further.
But I certainly am now!!
I do have a union, so I'm going to toughen up and tell them I need everything putting in place that has been recommended and then if it doesn't happen I'll take the unions advice.


When I saw my Occupational Health Doctor, he made it clear that his recommendations were only that - recommendations - and it was up to my manager to decide whether implementing them would work for the department. So there is no automatic right to have these recommendations met. Having said that, because you have a 'disability', your employer has to make 'reasonable adjustments' for you under the Disability Discrimination Act so you may be able to use this to put pressure on them. Good luck!
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Re: Boss's attitude

Postby Helhit » Wed Apr 30, 2014 12:31 pm

No wonder depression is part of illness! Here's us feeling awful yet trying just get on with whatever our day brings whilst facing ignorance and disbelief all the time.
How do the rest of you do it? Because I'm struggling.
Any help or tips would be very gratefully received.
Fibro is like the wind. You can't see it and when it flares up it knocks you off your feet!
Helhit
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Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2014 4:52 pm

Re: Boss's attitude

Postby SchroedingersCat » Wed Apr 30, 2014 12:34 pm

I've got to be honest, not one single person has ever doubted me, belittled me, denied FM exists, told me it's all in my head, or any of the other things so many people on here have experienced. I'm either very lucky, or so damn scary no-one dares argue! :shooting: :twisted:

ETA: maybe I should have called myself "Schwarzenegger's Cat!" :lol:
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Re: Boss's attitude

Postby Helhit » Wed Apr 30, 2014 12:43 pm

My hubby says I'm not being forthright enough with work, so I'm determined to get it through to them.
I'll have to more like Arnie then!!! :-x
Fibro is like the wind. You can't see it and when it flares up it knocks you off your feet!
Helhit
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Posts: 160
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2014 4:52 pm


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