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how to stop being the carer

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 9:39 am
by animalhouse
before i got the fibro i was caring for my sister who was an amputee and had learning difficulties, and my elderly mother.

when i finally admitted defeat i asked social services to get another pa/support worker to replace me. their response to this was placing her in so called day care 3 days per week.

this infact has not helped so i asked for a meeting and reitterated to her social worker that i was still running around (or to be precise oh was ) manageing her health and social outings as she did not appear to be going anywhere and was bored. the result of the meeting was they did go places and she was happy there but they took onboard re hospital appointments and started taking her to some of those. unfortunatley i was not getting any feedback and they were infact causeing her to be worse health wise by not encouraging her to exercise and use her crutches so she happily sat in her chair for the day being wheeled around - who wouldn';t.

unfortunatley they are now going on holiday and again this is creating more problems as they have told her 2 days before she goes how much and what she needs. now i was up on monday this this information filtered through lat night (she lives with mum). so more stress how to get her stuff, do we give up our family day to go rusheing down motorway 60 miles to help or do we stand back and say no. which is hard. it is merely buying new clothes and getingg cash out of her post office acocount but her and mum are not mobile to do this and she goes to daycare saturday and goes on holiday sunday.

i just feel rthis place ingereal creates more work for me not less, she is bored there but does not wan tto giv eup social time. i just feel like getting rid of them and trying to recruit a pa myself and use her direct payments so i can know she is safe, getting support she needs and social interaction. and feedback. :swear1: :swear1: :swear1: :swear1: also my mum is lonely when she goes so i then have to go keep her company still so i may as well have not stopped caring . becasue i am still having to go up but i just do less around the house now i cant.

Re: how to stop being the carer

PostPosted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 11:44 pm
by denys
This is a really difficult position to be in and I really wouldnt know how or what you can do. Is there any way you can hand over the care of both of them to social services explaining that your health has now deteriorated to such a point that you need them to help with your mum too and that it will be down to them to sort out holiday arrangements etc for your sister in the future.

You didnt say, have you got any other family who could perhaps help :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: