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The UKFibromyalgia Forums • View topic - wellcome to november



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wellcome to november

Postby cat123 » Thu Nov 01, 2007 3:05 am

my husband asked me a question tonight.he wants to know how your partners cope with your condition.because he must find it hard coping with me.he finds it hard to know what to do.can anyone help.thanks.
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Postby luuluu » Thu Nov 01, 2007 7:14 am

Hi Cat, I dont have a partner and am a single mum with 2 kids which is hard work enough without having fibro but my mam is fantastic :D in helping out when I feel too poorly.
The main thing I have found is to ask for help and not keep battling on trying to do things myself which will inevitibley make me more poorly in the end which then makes me cross cos I can't do stuff:roll:
My kids are great and know there is limitations to what I can do with them but it makes me feel they are missing out on things sometimes like riding bikes, going swimming and walking places cos I just cant do it but I make it up to them with lots of love and cuddles :D
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Postby claire edwards » Fri Nov 02, 2007 8:23 pm

Hi Cat
I have a partner who also has back problems so is limited with what he can do but between us we somehow manage...
I think we both found it hard at first and we did a lot of arguing because we were both so frustrated and it was a lot for us both to deal with on top of the other issues we had.
we talk a lot and im lucky in that if im having a bad day i do what i can and he does the rest.
Only yesterday i sobbed my heart out because i get so angry, im only 41 and it feels as though im about 61, but he let me talk and assured me that he loves me and we can get through this together.
Hope that helps and feel free to ask any questions at any time.
take care
claire
:)
Diagnosed with fibromyalgia, it would be good to hear from people as a form of support and to support.
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Postby Mini1mum » Sat Nov 03, 2007 11:19 am

Hi Claire & Cat,
My partner also has back problems and now his fingures & hands have started twisting. Like you we muddle through. All you can do is listen to each other, help each other, support each other and learn when to leave each other alone too. Make the most of what you both can do, rearange cupboards to suit your needs (I am 4'10" and he is 6' 2"), I take the low ones and he takes the high ones. In the shower :shock: , you wash my hair, back & feet and I'll do yours, we just learn to cope with each others needs. Even the grandchildren have learned to be very helpful, I tell the younger ones "I have a bone in my leg today, would you help and get that for me please?" They enjoy being able to help and extend the help to a cuddle which is lovely. The older ones know that I am a decrepit, nutty, forgetful, young-minded person in an old useless body and tell me jokes to keep me laughing. Some of the jokes I couldn't tell you but that is our little secret of naughtiness. :wink:
I think the most important thing is to allow each other to have a good moan and groan (even if you have to switch off without them realising), it doesn't help physically but it is a mental off load. Don't forget to have a good laugh now and then, we sit infront of the TV and take the micky out of thing some people same and do, we must sound like a pair of naughty children but it keeps us laughing and you know they can't hear you.
Keep that chin up and I am here if you need a shoulder.
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Postby cat123 » Sun Nov 04, 2007 10:11 am

Thanks for your replies every one.it really helps.my hubby has been off work all week .he pulled a plug out of the wall ,and has torn the muscles in his back so we are a right pair together.i will reply to letters later today.thanks again......cat
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Postby cat123 » Sun Nov 04, 2007 5:53 pm

Hi Luu Luu

I do ask for help but find it difficult because of the amount of help I need seems to be increasing, which feels like I'm a burden on my family. I was a single parent myself not easy with fibro is it? Im lucky to have a family that helps.

Hi Claire

I do get angry and frustrated mostly at myself I think any1 with fibro will totally understand the way it makes you feel.

Hi Min1mum

You are so right about laughter! It's one of the best medicines thank god I've still got my sense of humour. I've got 3 baby grand-children and a seven year old grand-daughter with autism. They are my joy watching them grow is the best tonic, they are always making me laugh just wish I could do more with them sometimes. There all really cuddly. Thanks again it was interesting and informative hearing your views....... Cat
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Postby luuluu » Sun Nov 04, 2007 7:32 pm

Hi Cat

I know what you mean, I feel like a total nuisance sometimes when I have to ring someone for help but even though I sit and cry :cry: about it sometimes I feel lucky too to have people round me that don't mind giving me a hand :D
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Postby KateXXXXXX » Thu Nov 08, 2007 4:26 pm

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Click on Kate's Pages and explore!
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Postby Ally » Fri Nov 16, 2007 12:32 pm

Hi Cat
My hubby has chronic pain syndrome following a back injury many years ago an we are often in competition with the groans and moans.
I have just had to accept help from my sister to wallpaper the stairs, they have been bare walls for four yrs !! My sister has rheumatoid arthritis !.
I have osteo arthritis and fibro. I said i would paint the paper as she went, im now hobbling around hurting from head to toe.
There is no one size fits all way to cope, i think we all have to find our own special ways of coping but i think most of all, we have to learn to accept that its ok sometimes to get frustrated as careres and sufferers. Its human to experience the odd bout of bitterness and so on. I think that only when we can accept our limitations both physically and mentally can we begin to truly cope an overcome the problems which are presented to us daily.Its ok to scream now an then, to curse a little, cry, stamp our feet as long as its not too painful :)
Ally x
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