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The UKFibromyalgia Forums • View topic - Everyone is back at work.



Everyone is back at work.

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Everyone is back at work.

Postby tyrannosauRoss » Wed Jan 04, 2012 6:20 pm

With the family now back to work after the festive season how is everyone coping with being alone again?

I am currently job hunting, without much luck, and with depression I find these long days really hard. I do little bits around the house, odd load of washing, maybe a bit of hoovering etc, but nothing like what a fully fit house wife (stereotypical view I know) would do.
I can't even get out and about as I more or less rely on parents driving me places due to being in too much pain to stand and wait for buses, or even at the end of some shopping trips I can barely move. As such I am stuck in the house. Depression getting worse, pain not fading, in a bad spiral of things.
Yesterday I burst out crying as I didn't want to be left alone (no-one knew) and as I said to an other forum, it's a sad state of affairs when the highlight of a 23y/o man's day is his parents coming home.

There's a lot more I could list but then it'll be a post about depression.

How do you guys cope at home? Either through being disabled or from being an unemployed job seeker?
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Re: Everyone is back at work.

Postby FluppyPuffy » Wed Jan 04, 2012 8:19 pm

Not sure if I cope, at times if I'm lucky I can nearly function :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm:

The thing that keeps me from going completely :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: thru the day is the doglet. She's my shadow, so where ever I go in the house, she's there with me. OH tends to be there as well, well sort of as he's working nights and claims he needs to sleep thru the day.

I'm mostly in the house all day as well. When I do have to venture into the scary outside world, I'm usually with someone else as I'm petrified to be out alone.

The crying yesterday could be linked in with everything else. If things have been building and building for you, it could be manifesting itself this way. If it keeps happening/things seem like they're getting worse, your GP should be able to help with finding ways to help you cope more effectively.


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Re: Everyone is back at work.

Postby tyrannosauRoss » Thu Jan 05, 2012 11:26 pm

Thanks, I have a dog too, but she tends to keep to the front of the house while my room is at the back. She occasionally decides to change the bed she sleeps on and jumps up on mine.

My GP Knows I've been considering going back onto anti-depressants. It's something I really need to consider cause I find myself muttering "I hate my life" for no reason at all, even when I am not thinking about things.
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Re: Everyone is back at work.

Postby denys » Fri Jan 06, 2012 12:23 pm

I think it may be an idea if you revisit your doc even if you go back on them short term, is there any courses or things you fancy doing that might help to get you out of the house before finding work cos the way you are feeling now is going to impact negatively on your ability to get through any interviews you might get sending you some gentle :hugs: and hope that you feel better soon.
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Re: Everyone is back at work.

Postby FluppyPuffy » Fri Jan 06, 2012 1:11 pm

What Denys has said about courses has reminded me of something I was told during my WFI. The idea behind the WFI (Work Focused Interview) was to advise about funding being available for someone looking to get back into work so they can attend courses/schemes that will help them eventually get back into work. It could be worth contacting your local Jobcentre to see what there is in your area that may help you.


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Re: Everyone is back at work.

Postby Roseofsharon » Fri Jan 06, 2012 5:34 pm

Coping? What's that?!

Seriously my average day is spent going between three things: My Bed, my computer and my sofa (watching TV). I usually manage to do a little housework (although for most people they don't count it as being enough).

If things are as bad for you as you say then I agree that you need to go to your doc and talk through your options (i.e counselling, anti-depressants etc.). Please do go and discuss things with your GP, that's what they're there for!
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Re: Everyone is back at work.

Postby tyrannosauRoss » Fri Jan 06, 2012 10:58 pm

Thanks guy for all the advise. A course could be an option.
I currently can't work what I have experience in so trying my luck in some other fields that interest me, but a dedicated course could be the answer.
Anybody know if there's a website to check?
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Re: Everyone is back at work.

Postby Ldyalb » Sat Jan 07, 2012 11:46 am

My Father is 72 so I have him with me in the day. Before that when I lived with my boyfriend I would often be alone from 8-7 and often longer as he often had drinks after work on a Friday, played Footie on Mondays, had regular work 'bonding' outings on Wednesdays etc. He was often gone 8-11. I think it's important to try and establish a routine where possible when you're on your own as it gives some structure to your day.

I find a few ways to occupy my day. I don't watch tv TV, I tend to watch things online or from my External Hardrive. I also watch programmes on BBC iPlayer and 4OD. I like to play games on my computer, currently playing both Lego Harry Potters. I also enjoy reading although I don't do much of that. I like listening to music as I can just lie down and do that if I want to. Rest of the time I'm online, either on here or on FB talking to my boyfriend who is back at Uni.

When I was alone in the day and jobseeking I got into a good routine with job applications. Every morning after breakfast I would go on my computer in the bedroom, leaving the rest of the flat free for my bf to get ready for work in. I would go through all my job alert emails and select all the good jobs that day. I then applied for them, tweaking a pre prepared cover letter for each vacancy. Applying in the morning is a good time to do it because that way when the Recruiters get in to the office your application is near the top of their inbox, rather than at the bottom of it. Then I would relax in the day and deal with any recruiters if and when they rang. Doing them in the morning meant I ticked off most of my to do list nice and early which made me feel better about myself.

I don't know much about courses but you could try The Open University, you can do random modules on their own if you like the look of them I think. There's also a charity called Leonard Cheshire Disability - I was advised by Remploy that they do courses in maths skills etc. You could look at local colleges for courses as well. You could even consider looking at the Red Cross for First Aid courses if you wanted. It would be a good way to get some skills in another field and give you something to do in the day :-)

I would also go back to your GP and see what they suggest, counselling could be a good option, I'm having it now to learn to adjust to my new life post Fibro and I think it's going to help me feel more positive about things when it finishes.
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Re: Everyone is back at work.

Postby FluppyPuffy » Sat Jan 07, 2012 12:18 pm

I was told about the funding availability when I had a Work Focused Interview at the local JobCentre Plus, Ross. So sorry, no linky for it I'm afraid :( :( Your best option could be getting in touch with your local one, and see what they have to say on the subject.

With you thinking about anti-ds etc, like others have already said, go and see your GP about what is available and could be suitable for you. As well as the anti-ds, talking therapy might be an option for you, or a combination of meds based treatment plus talking therapy could be what you need. Try not to leave it too long if you can before you decide on what to do. The earlier treatment is started, the easier it can be to find the right way for you to deal with these things.


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Re: Everyone is back at work.

Postby denys » Sat Jan 07, 2012 12:56 pm

I agree with Fluppy, the job centre or one stop shop could have ideas of courses designed to get you back into work or speak to your local CAB who may also have some info that could help you but as Fluppy has said the sooner you decide to go for it and get things moving the better for both your mental wellbeing and work wise :fingerscrossed: and :goodluck1:
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Re: Everyone is back at work.

Postby tyrannosauRoss » Sat Jan 07, 2012 3:54 pm

I found a site listing a load of course available up here in Scotland, well I think they're available for jobseekers:
http://www.myworldofwork.co.uk/

Couple I may be interested but they're £250 a go, money which I don't have and I doubt I would qualify for it since I am only just re-applying for jobseekers.
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Re: Everyone is back at work.

Postby Selkie » Sat Jan 07, 2012 4:03 pm

I know a lot of people wont do it, but what about working a few days for a volunteer service? Like a charity shop.

When i was home a lot of the time it made my depression worse, but being out even if just for a day helped quite a lot. It was good to talk to people, and because i had difficulties they chose the least painful way for me to help out, which for me was minding the till for a few hours a week.

Benefits are:

Social interaction
Healthier mental outlook
Physical exercise
Job experience!

It's always something to put on your CV. I know that some people qualify for extra money if they take on work like this, not much but a little extra.

Fibro-fog just ate what else i was going to say.. sorry all :(
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Re: Everyone is back at work.

Postby FluppyPuffy » Sat Jan 07, 2012 5:01 pm

Looking online will help you get an idea of what is available Ross, but it doesn't always give you an idea if you are eligible for any help with it :-? :-? If you can talk to an advisor, not only will be be able to tell you what is available in your area, they should also be able to give you a good idea about eligibility based on your own particular circumstances/situation.


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Re: Everyone is back at work.

Postby denys » Sat Jan 07, 2012 5:45 pm

Agree with both of the above, you never know what you may be entitled to until you ask, go for it :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D
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Re: Everyone is back at work.

Postby tyrannosauRoss » Sun Jan 08, 2012 12:00 am

Cheers guys, will remember to try and ask when I have to go and sign on for the first time in person.
I also weirdly haven't seen any lifts at my local job centre, and before I have been upto 3floor up for signing on!

But in good news my pains have been good tonight, walked fairly comfortably home after helping a drunk middle aged woman back to her flat who decided the road looked like a good place for a sleep.
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