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The UKFibromyalgia Forums • View topic - Avoided



Avoided

Enjoy general conversation with other members

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Avoided

Postby nobby » Mon Mar 31, 2008 10:27 pm

Hi...I've not been here a lot.

Okay I've avoided this site.

I've also resisted going to a counsellor.

Since I can still work (though I've had to drop to 20 hours a week) I felt like....I didn't have a right to complain.

I was raised not to admit I was ill and if you had an issue you bullied through and acted like nothing was wrong.

My fibro is bad, though not bad enough for me to go on benefits and even if it was bad enough for benefits I can't actually go on benefits because I'm foreign, and if I'm on benefits and I ever go back home I can be denied re-entry to the country.

I don't like being reminded that I'm ill.

So this website, which is people who have what I have, talking about being ill I want to run screaming from it.


But I'm thinking I really shouldn't.

I'm stressed very often, all the time actually, and I hurt and I'm tired and I've finally admitted that I've not been doing hardly anything because of pure exhaustion from the fibro.


So I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I've been running away from my support and that I'm scared.

And I'm rambling
nobby
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scared

Postby cat123 » Tue Apr 01, 2008 12:23 am

Yes nobby,i scared too,im working myself silly to raise awareness,ive had this condition so long,if ive got to live my life in pain,i want to know why.I stopped work last year,but did work for a very long time,depite the condition,if anything it made me stronger,in the mind at least!No way did i want to give my job up,or go on benifits,in actual fact,i couldent have got any sick pay,due to long term health problems,i diddent have enough stamps in,great way to treat the sick in this country isant it? cutting your hours down is a good idea,at least you stand a better chance of working a bit longer.The more we raise awareness of this condition,the more research goes on,and maybe someone will find a cure,im so sorry you are in this position,if things get bad,we dont mind a moan to one another on here.We all do it.its somewhere to sound off.I would rather talk on here to people who understand,than to relitives who just dont get it.i dont do much writing on here now,due to awareness stuff,but i allways have a look at whose writing.I find, my mind much better knowing at least im trying to fight the bitch as i call fibro.maybe it may help you to get invovled with some sort of awareness work.It will help hi light the position you are in.there are so many out there who cant get dla without a fight,what you said is just awful about if you go on benifits you may not get back into the country.We need to stop all this happening.help us fight it. cat.
cat123
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Postby suep » Tue Apr 01, 2008 12:20 pm

Hi Nobby
welcome to the group. I think most of us know about being in denial about Fibro when they are first dx, noone wants to have to give up their life. You are in an awful position, Im so sorry for you and I wish I had some advice that would help.
All I can suggest is you read up about Fibro so you know what your dealing with and rest as much as possible when your not working. I had to stop working about 8 years ago, I was dx 12 years ago and tried to carry on working in a rest home for 4 years, but with looking after 3 kids as well I ended up crashing and burning out, so I know how hard it is.

You have come to the right place for support, and we all have a moan at times. You have to stop being in denial about fibro though Nobby and start looking after yourself a bit more.
take care
sue x
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Postby velvet » Tue Apr 01, 2008 12:58 pm

nobby i did exactely as you did. i started on this forum back in december but had avoided it before then because "i didnt have it that bad, it would improve"

you are not alone, this is for want of a better expression a "sick" disease. you look fine and feel like death and no one who hasnt been here can understand. i just stay greatful to those who try.

when you are ready this site is here, the wonderful people on it are here, and i for one regret not coming sooner.
velvet
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denial

Postby joanypops » Tue Apr 01, 2008 1:09 pm

Hi nobby and welcome im new to this too and i can completely identify
with your feelings. i was diagnosed last november after 3 years.
sometimes i sit and find the plight im in unbelievable. I want to do my housework (sad) and i want to go shopping to the metro centre for a whole day, i want to go for a long walk with my husband and a whole list of other things. Im not disabled. then reality sets in and i realise i cant. That i am disabled its hysterical. My friends ignore it they think because i
look ok im imagining it. But i do what i can and i try not to give up. I read the posts on this site and realise im not the worst off. Its hard to stay positive but we do and my husband is brilliant. I hope you use this site more and get the most out of it.I for one am thinking about you and am always at the end of a computer for you to moan at!!! Keep well big hugs. :wink:
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Postby nobby » Tue Apr 01, 2008 6:00 pm

*nods*

Thanks, it's nice to know I'm not the only one who ran at first.

I acknowledged I had it...but then tried to carry on like normal...I accepted some limitations but not others.

I blamed my non-activity at home on depression.


It's just recently that i realized I couldn't keep going on that way....I read that "spoon theory" paper a woman wrote about lupus and it hit me what that meant in regards to me and I cried. I then showed it to my husband and for the first time he really understood.

Yeah...dropping hours is going to be a big help and I'm losing weight using a rather exterme diet (doctor controlled) to help me move more and allow me to be more active because it will help with some of my non fibro related pain.

But yeah...having to admit how much it effects your life is hard.

Thank you lot. :)
nobby
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