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The UKFibromyalgia Forums • View topic - Men with fibro



Men with fibro

Enjoy general conversation with other members

Moderators: perseus, *Lisa*, FluppyPuffy

Re: Men with fibro

Postby bigt » Wed Feb 13, 2013 5:53 pm

hiya mate, i to have cfs and fms, only recently diagnosed a few months back, iv traced all my symptoms back to when i was 17 and through the years never knew what it was. i was always told it was a pulled muscle or a twist, sprain tendonitis and my tiredness was because i smoked. im now 41 and last jan i went down hill very fast and people thought it was a stroke because it was all down one side and the pain in my head was unreal but after going to all the test and appointments iv now got my dx. my change has been dramatic ive gone from being very fit from playing football, martial arts and going the gym but now i cant walk around my house without being in pain. the worst thing about it for me is not being able to play with my kids the way i did. ive had 3 diff meds and nothing worked but i have started gapapentin 300mg 3 times a day(to start) so i hope they do something.
welcome to the group, there is loads of info to look up in here and the girls are great with there help aswell.
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Re: Men with fibro

Postby Patched » Sun Feb 17, 2013 6:14 pm

Hi mates,
hope you're all coping ok. I read Shamusy's comments about sleeping propblems, and I'm gusessing we can all relate to the problem in one way or another? Personally, I don't have a major problem actually getting off to sleep, but I was never able to sleep through without waking several times through the night. I was prescribed Tramadol slow release capsules & been taking these regularly as instructed for about two months now. I've read other people comments on Tramadol & it seems that quite a few don't get on with them, but in my case I think they're helping to some extent. Until I was diagnosed with FM I was reluctant to even take paracetamols, so Tramadol was a bit of a big step-up for me. I think being reluctant to take medications is just another one of our male traits, but I'm more ok with taking them now. I still find though that even after managing to sleep better, I still feel tired when I wake up, and often feel exhausted within 2-3 hours getting up. A physiotherapist told me that she doesn't advocate daytime naps either as it's disturbs the normal sleep pattern..............erm, O think I'll sleep on that one :sleep:
Tonydin, you asked "well, what are we going to do about it lads"......good question mate!! :-? I'm fortunate to be at an age where I can cut my working hours down a bit & that's exactly what I'm going to do this year. I still want to do DIY & gardening as much as I'm able to, and when I'm able to, but I'm hoping that I'll be able to learn to pace myself, and give myself as much time to do the job as I need.
Having said that, I know that I can't take on some of the jobs that I would have been able to a few years ago and so I'll just have to learn to accept that. I don't think it makes me a failure or idle. It's just the way it is.
Shamusy, I know what you mean about the 'pride' thing, but maybe you're expecting too much from yourself? And why should you have to make excuses? Our life's purpose isn't to live up to the expectations of others mate. If you're not well enough at the moment to give your friend a hand, that's all you have to say. You don't owe explanations, and a true friend will accept your word for what it is. Has he actually said he thinks you're idle, or could it just be you thinking that way? I'll be honest mate, I've lost one or two 'friends' as a result of FM, but I've also made a few new ones :-D I think each one of our future's is probably going to be different to the one's we previously had in our minds, but a different future doesn't mean it has to be bleak or something to dread.
Hope you're feeling a bit better soon mate. Cheers everyone.
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Re: Men with fibro

Postby Tribefanuk » Fri Feb 22, 2013 12:58 am

Hi everyone sorry I haven't posted on this thread in ages considering it was me that started it oops :oops:
Thanks for all the replies and it's good to hear other men's stories on living with fibro, knowing you aren't going mad.

It's a bit of a sh***y condition to live with, it does make you appear lazy and anti-social, luckily for me I have a wonderful wife and 2 teenage kids who are brilliant support and tell me to go to bed when they see I'm pushing myself too far. They have read a lot of info about my conditions and are very understanding, as far as friends go all of mine have turned their backs on me and my family but that is mainly to do with the death of my 10 year old daughter 3 years ago, but every cloud has a silver lining at least I don't have to go out to bloody NOISY pubs getting anxiety attacks :-D :-D :-D

Also something of an advantage with fibro being predominantly a female condition there are a lot of kind understanding females on the forum to get sympathy from hey guys :-D :-D

Anyway I think I'm rambling now so I must go, I promise I won't leave it too long between posts ;-)
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Re: Men with fibro

Postby scouseproud » Sun Mar 10, 2013 1:10 pm

Alright lads. I've just been diagnosed with FM after being in pain for a couple of years and having all kindsa test for arthritis etc. coming back negative. I'm 29 and in my 3rd year of a 4 year geology with palaeobiology degree at Leicester uni, and hoping to get a job working as a micropalaeontologist in the oil industry. My wife had our 1st daughter just over 6 months ago, and is planning a few more, so I need to get a good job to give them the best. As I'm sure you can imagine, the FM is becoming a bit of a pain in the a**e, and I'm really worried I'm not going to be able to pursue my career and support my family. I don't really have anyone to talk to. Most of my so called mates are young students who don't give a toss about anything except going out getting hammered. I've been put on Duloxetine (Cymbalta) to try and help with the pain, and because it's been getting me pretty depressed, but the side effects have been a bit nasty and the only difference I feel is like a zombie half the time and wired like im on drugs the other half. Anyone had any experience with meds? I'm going for some steroid and local anaesthetic injections in my arms, shoulders and back in a few weeks. Has anyone else had these? I also read somewhere about lidocaine patches? Anyone had any experience with them? Sorry about all the questions, I've read and been told about things but I'd prefer to hear from people who are going through the same thing. Oh, and one more thing. Do any of you guys go fishing? FM is really starting to ruin that for me!
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Re: Men with fibro

Postby Patched » Sun Mar 10, 2013 3:11 pm

Hi Scouseproud. Welcome to the forum. I'm sure you'll find a lot of support from other members here, blokes and ladies. Speaking from my own experience this site has been a bit of a godsend for me. It's reasurring to know there are others who are genuinelly interested in each other. I've taken a lot of encouragement from the other members write ups.
It's a few years since I was 29 (I'm an old fa*t twice your age!). I can only offer my own opinions & comments mate, and I don't expect you or other forum-friends to neccesarily share or agree with my opinions. But I make my comments with the best of intentions.
Firstly though, congratulations on becoming a dad!! :-D

The first positive thing you do have in your favour is that you've actually been diagnosed with FM within a 'relatively' short time period. Myself and others with FM have endured the symptoms for a number of years before getting a diagnosis. I'm still coming to terms with the diagnosis myself, but I do find that I'm dealing with the symptoms better since diagnosis & I'm also getting better quality medical treatment from GP & physio as a result.

Try not to allow yourself to overly focus on future issues that are perhaps years ahead. It can get a tad overwhelming when we do that (whether we have FM or not) & it can be a bit demoralising if things don't go as we expected them to. Keep your long term goals in mind, but focus mainly on achieveable short term goals. Bit by bit you eventually get there. Your first priority is to complete your 4th year. Once you've done that, then start to focus more on getting employment as micropalaeontologist. Step by step, one or two short term goals at a time, and eventually the longer term goals are reached (even if the FM means it takes a bit longer than desired).

Don't feel that other graduates have an advantage over you because of your FM. You have a fantastic outlook and concern for doing the best for your family. It says a lot about your character and personality mate. Employers will see that as a quality that goes beyond merely having a degree, and sets you aside from the others who are slef-centred & more concerned with having nights out on the town & getting hammered.
I'm married (twice) & we have 6 children between us. I would like to give each of them, and my wife, everything they need to have happy
fulfilled lives, with all of life's luxuries. I'll never be able to give them as much as I would like to give materially, but in the end, all we can do is give them the best of ourselves. This involves accepting our own limitations & not believing that we have failed them or let them down. My best memories of my dad (now deceased) aren't about the material or financial things he gave, but are to do with the times we had together & the activities we shared in. Far more precious in my eyes.

I've had steriod injections in both shoulders & also my right heel. In my case I think they have helped & I'd be willing to have them again if the doc suggested them. I haven't tried the patches though mate. At the moment I'm only taking slow release Tramadol and they are helping a bit, although I've read comments from fellow forum members that they didn't get on with them.
I gave up fishing 30 years ago. Nothing to do with the FM though. I was just a rubbish angler!
Sorry for the lengthy ramblings. I think it's part of being an oldie :roll:
I'm sure you'll get a lot of good advice from others on this site.
Good look with the rest of your studies, and best wishes to you and your family. :-D
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Re: Men with fibro

Postby efrem » Sun Mar 10, 2013 10:18 pm

hello tribefanuk,hope you keeping as well as can be.i to am a male fm sufferer.have had it for 9yrs after bieng triggered by a trauma(accident).i live on a smallholding with ny wife.we keep a few rare breed sheep,chickens and a couple of donkies.the wife does most of the work whilst i try to helps although its at a very slow pace.this is what helps to keep me battling on.take care,efrem :penguin: :sheep:
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Re: Men with fibro

Postby tonydin » Tue Mar 12, 2013 8:58 am

scouse proud FISHING GRRRRRRRR dont tell me about it , used to be my mian passion but so hard now to motivate been a bit agian recebtly , but on holiday to day , snow out side rods in the car , but cant get meself going ,may be the pike will have a lucky day to day :roll: :-D :-D :-D
////
tony
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Re: Men with fibro

Postby scouseproud » Fri Mar 15, 2013 12:11 pm

Thanks Patched, some good advice mate. Hospital cancelled my appointment for the injections today, which is rather annoying, so now I've gotta wait at least another 2 weeks, and I've got so much to do! Gonna try and see if I can get some lidocaine patches off the GP. Found help in an unlikely place this week! I went for a haircut on wed and to my surprise got chatting to the barber, and she also has FM!! Not the usual awkward smalltalk with a ditzy blonde bimbo. She talked me through some of the medication she's tried, which was great, and she thinks that gabapentin would be good for me. She seemed to like tramadol, but seemed high as a kite tbh. Think I'm gonna try and get off the duloxetine though, the side effects are not very pleasant.

Tonydin, I still manage to go fishing and put up with the pain but I don't half feel it the day after! I (stupidly) went on monday to a new stretch of river for the 1st time. Had to trek across a muddy field and sit exposed to the full force of what can only be described as a series of blizzards, with some sun inbetween. Very uncomfortable but strangely satisfying. Caught a few nice chub of a couple of pounds for my trouble so not a bad day but I'm still suffering with my back and arms. Used to be into carp fishing but the thought of having to play a fish for more than 5 minutes worries me as I have no energy in my arms anymore. I struggle to hold the phone for a long conversation most days! I don't even want to consider sea fishing, which I used to love a few years ago!
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Re: Men with fibro

Postby tonydin » Sat Mar 16, 2013 2:19 pm

hi scouse i to gave up the carp when i had3 twentys in a hour and could hadley hold the rod or net ,,, had a coup;le of pike the other day not to big , get so tired sitting and keep haveing to walk about . its a funny old condition aint it
tony
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Re: Men with fibro

Postby Patched » Sat Mar 23, 2013 3:18 pm

Hi Scouseproud. How you doing? Hope the Degree course is going ok?
My first time logged onto the site for a while. I had a few bad weeks with the FM but starting to get back to my 'normal-for-me' self again. I generally have the pains in the upper half, shoulders, neck, arms etc & lower back, but this time it started in my lower legs. Took me 10 mins to get down the stairs. The last time I remember having similar pains was about 30 years ago after working out too hard at the gym (those were the days! :-D ) but this just literally came on overnight for no reason. I couldn't even bear touching the calf muscle area for days. I've never had that before and I've just put it down to the FM doing the rounds. The fatigue kicked in then (talk about sticking the boot in when you're down eh! :twisted: )
Funny that you mention chatting to your barber and finding oput that she has FM too. I've recently met with two people just by chance who also have it. One of them said she has had similar calf pains for some time & could relate to all of my symptoms. It's a bonus when someone you speak with actually understands exactly. It's like having a weight lifted.
I'm still taking Tramadol regularly & I don't feel spaced out like I did initially. I'd probably have stopped taking them had the rheumatologist stressed that I needed to persevere with them for at least three months, and she did instruct my GP to change them if I did have any continuing problems. When the calf pain flared up I just popped paracetamol regularly as well until the symptoms eased a bit. They didn't actually made any difference. More of a token gesture really.
I hope the injections do work for you (your new appointment must be about due now? (fingers crossed)
Take care mate.
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Re: Men with fibro

Postby scouseproud » Thu Jun 13, 2013 5:59 pm

Hi Patched, sorry for the incredibly late reply - this year has been incredibly hectic to say the least! Been really busy with uni and little Millie is growing up fast and becoming a right handful (as well as an absolute delight - her cheeky little grin never fails to pick me up when I'm down) The degree is going quite well considering - I'm quietly confident I will be receiving another award this year. Missed quite a bit though so I've stil got loads of work to do over the summer. Starting my masters project soon too, which is rather exciting.

I know exactly what you mean with the calf pain. I had it all last year, but only in the right side. It felt like my calf muscle was swollen and had a contant dull ache. That passed and the pain moved on - funny how it does that init! My shoulders and back then became the focus. Recently the same leg has kicked off again but now my knee is really bad, particularly if I've walked a lot. Sometimes if I've been sitting for a while I can hardly get up it's that stiff. Had the injections months after my initial date and they were pretty ineffective despite being incredibly painful. On gabapentin now so waiting to see if that gives me any relief. It's practically turned me into a zombie though! Side effects could be worse though - I feel pretty high most of the time and talk a hell of a lot of sh*t (even more than usual!)

Despite all this I recently had one of my best ever fishing achievements - catching a 40lb+ grey sturgeon and a few other slightly smaller ones. Man did I feel it the day after though! And the day after that.

How's things with you mate? Hope all is well.
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Re: Men with fibro

Postby Patched » Wed Jun 19, 2013 5:41 pm

Hi Scouseproud. Great to hear that things are going along ok.Keep up the good work mate. What did you use to catch a 40+ sturgeon? Did you torpedo it? That's a hell of a catch, & little wonder you had pain for the following few days. Maybe worth planning to have a couple of 'easy' days after a day of fishing in future so that you can recharge your energy levels, and allow the pain/tenderness to ease.
I'm not doing too bad myself thanks. Ups & downs you know, but generally staying positive. Keep up the good work with your Uni course. I'm sure Millie will be a constant source of encouragement for you to succeed mate.
Don't worry too much about the Gabapentin issues mate, as long as they're working for you is the main thing, and I'm sure there are plenty more people who talk more ***t than you (and who probably don't even need medication to help them!!)
Good luck with the fishing too. Cheers for now bud. Patched. :-D
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Re: Men with fibro

Postby CheekyDad70 » Wed Aug 14, 2013 1:42 pm

Hi Tribefanuk,
I was amazed to find that women Fibro sufferers outnumber men by a 9:1 ratio (I'm sure someone will put me right on this figure. I didn't do my all research via the ever reliable wikipedia! Honest!) :-D

I'm a 43 year old male sufferer, of some 8 years now, and it'd be ace to chat to other male sufferers. To be honest though, we're all in this together, both gents and ladies, even if the ratio is skewed.
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Re: Men with fibro

Postby perseus » Thu Aug 15, 2013 10:30 am

As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia. Regards Stephen
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Re: Men with fibro

Postby Taz » Sun Oct 27, 2013 9:11 pm

well I'm a bloke with FM, had it 10 years or so and it's gone from bad to bloody awefull
I no longer get good days or bad, every day is a battle, my wife left me when I was very deppressed
with my 12 yo son, he has been my rock, my x tried to bury me to get what she wanted but was dissapointed
because I just didn't give in, she still tries to hurt me when she can but I keep going, iv'e lost 90% of my hobbies
and my life is more of an existance but I won't give in, we are a minority being male but speaking to other FM suffering
people does help a bit, I do get lonely, who want's a sick guy no matter that your good looking or clever or a good dad
anyway good luck on here mate
take care
Keith x
NEVER EVER GIVE UP OR IT'S ALL OVER
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