Do I resign?

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Do I resign?

Postby Lorirach » Sun Aug 03, 2014 4:06 pm

I am really struggling at work. I am a nurse and we are constantly short-staffed and the staff that show up tend to be bank staff that haven't a clue about the ward routine so I am doing twice as much work. My manager agreed to lowering my hours to just one night a week but I am struggling with that. I am so tired and in so much pain I am taking 5 days to recover from one night shift. My children are only 9and 7 and yet they are having to do so much for me :( When I was signed off I actually managed to live a fairly normal home life, my hubby just doing shopping and heavy housework etc but now I am back to work I am so exhausted they have to do everything and I am in tears most evenings with the pain, however I am scared if I resign that I will never work again. Decisions decisions!! And by looking at other people with FM I doubt I would get any benefits, so I need to earn something :s
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Re: Do I resign?

Postby denys » Sun Aug 03, 2014 6:18 pm

Unfortunately we cant help you make such a big decision but we can offer maybe some nuggets of advice. Go to your local one stop shop and ask about any benefits you might be entitled to if you were to finish work etc. Talk to your husband to see what your financial state would be without your contribution and if by careful management you would be able to manage. Look at other jobs you may be able to do maybe still within your profession. It would be very easy for us to say oh yes give in but we arent in your position and dont have to live your life.

Onc you have spoken to your husband, maybe worked out your finances then talk to your manager etc. as there could be something they can do to help. I was finished up at work and havent managed to go back and I do miss the social part of things and it left me in a very dark place for quite a while.

If some of the pressure was off you you may find you can manage a little better, it may be that at the end of trying, you do have to finish but at least you will know you tried your best and didnt just pack everything in sending you some gentle :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: and I hope you manage to sort things out for the best.
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Re: Do I resign?

Postby dotty lotty » Sun Aug 03, 2014 7:52 pm

It is such a major decision. Have you discussed it with occupational health with the view to redeployment? From a personal experience it is not easy to get a "lighter" job but I was lucky and a clinic charge nurse gave me a chance.
Take time with your hubby to make the best decision for both you and your family. And remember to take into account not paying NMC and union fees. Good luck :teddy-bear:
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Re: Do I resign?

Postby Lorirach » Mon Aug 04, 2014 8:20 pm

Thank you. I have spoken to my manager, who recommended I speak to my gp and get signed off work long term. This way I don't have to make an instant decision. She was actually really nice so we shall see. I can't really afford to give up work but my husband said if I need to he will support that decision but it feels selfish as we need my income too. Anyway, thanks for listening, again xxx
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Re: Do I resign?

Postby denys » Tue Aug 05, 2014 10:15 pm

Good to hear that your manager was so understanding I hope things work out well for you :-) :-)
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Re: Do I resign?

Postby dotty lotty » Wed Aug 06, 2014 6:03 am

Glad to hear you have had some positive news. At least it gives you time to make decisions and whatever they are they will be done with thought and on your terms. Take care of yourself. :teddy-bear:
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Re: Do I resign?

Postby Paisleyjane » Fri Aug 08, 2014 10:20 pm

Hi, this rings a bell, although I am older than you. I was a NICU nurse and struggling with night shifts. I was given a sideways promotion to paed outpatient. Loved it, learnt new set skills went back to uni and there was a reshuffle with me being left as acting _up. Lovely , then the fibro started, till I was going to bed couple evening's and most of the weekends. I was eventually retired after year off. With the help of occ health and docs I worked with got full pension and benefits although slow process. My pension is tiny but manage
I felt the fibrofog was compromising my practice, couldn't remember how to do things and forgot how to talk to parents. Scary I know, but you need to think of yourself. It has taken me over a year to get used to being at home and I miss work dreadfully.
There are times you need to put health first and am sure the benefit to your health will compensate for finances though I do understand how scary it is taking the steps.
Big gentle hugs, hope all goes well.
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Re: Do I resign?

Postby Lorirach » Sun Aug 17, 2014 11:56 pm

Thank you for gentle hugs :)

I have currently been signed off work so I have time to think. I would miss nursing but the pain gets unbearable. Also I keep getting painful pins and needles in my hands so I cannot feel things properly so I keep dropping things. Not sure what I will do but seeing my GP on Friday so might discuss it with her,

Gentle hugs back :hugs:
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Re: Do I resign?

Postby rich44 » Mon Aug 18, 2014 12:06 am

It's a tough one, can you transfer to a less active role, I know it's not NHS direct anymore but they used to employ nurses as 2nd line support to talk to patients regarding medical advice. It used to be initial call handlers with basic training getting the details out of you and then passing it to a nurse or Dr necessary.

If a similar arrangement still happens and there's a centre nearby maybe an alternative to being on your feet and still helping people with your nursing skills?

Also look at http://www.entitledto.co.uk to see what financial help you might get. Pop in your combined income then just your husbands and tinker with it see if you might get extra help there.

I'm wrestling with the same decision at the moment. Mines an office job but holding a mouse just makes me want to cry most of the time now.

Good luck.
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Re: Do I resign?

Postby Lorirach » Fri Aug 22, 2014 7:33 pm

Thank you Rich44 I will look into that. I'm sorry you are struggling too. I must admit I cannot actually hold a mouse very well and prefer a laptop - that is when the pins and needles in my hands allow me to actually feel anything! Thank you for advice, I appreciate it :D
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Re: Do I resign?

Postby rich44 » Fri Aug 22, 2014 10:02 pm

No problem hope everything sorts itself out for you. Good luck
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Re: Do I resign?

Postby MPSGuy » Sat Aug 23, 2014 12:06 pm

Do you have good pain management? Maybe there are some other medications you can get to help you get through your shift.

Is there any way you can exclude night shifts completely? Or perhaps consider switching to an alternative role which is less physically demanding.

Giving up work is an option but I'm not sure if you would be entitled to any benefits if you resigned. Also generally speaking people who work are shown to have better health than those that don't.
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Re: Do I resign?

Postby rich44 » Sat Aug 23, 2014 12:34 pm

If you resign thru sickness you would if course be eligible for ESA, JSA might be problematic but you'd not be quitting to job hunt.

Good luck whatever you do
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Re: Do I resign?

Postby Lorirach » Sat Aug 23, 2014 1:29 pm

Wow, I cannot believe how much I am entitled to as we live in a council house and my husband has a low paid job! We are entitled to loads even with my wages! Wish I had known of that site a couple of years ago! Thank you so much.

As I have 3 children at home, I wouldn't consider myself not working, just not in paid employment :-D Feeling so much better, knowing it is possible to stop nursing for now is such a weight off my mind. I would like to consider taking a few years out, getting fitter and working with the pain management clinic to get the right medication and looking to go back to light nursing duties when all my children are in secondary school - if there are nursing jobs available then! I will cross that bridge when I get to it.

Anyway, just wanted to say thank you. That website has made my life much more positive :-D
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Re: Do I resign?

Postby rich44 » Sat Aug 23, 2014 1:59 pm

Awwww I'm so glad it's taken the weight off, don't forget that the government can change the rules at a whim, so take it as a guide but it's never been wrong with my details.

It's really handy because you can fiddle with the wages see what happens when you earn more or less.

So glad it's helped
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