You will never believe what has happend!

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You will never believe what has happend!

Postby princess » Wed May 13, 2009 9:09 pm

First my son and family sold their house, very quickly i may add and bought another in suburbia. One they day of the move(thursday) the Bank lost the certificate for the money, so they had to wait 4 hours till the lawyers got their acts together with the bank and it was sorted. The new couple with van waiting to get in and us waiting to get out.
Then the new house needed heating and kitchen, so they decided to put everything into the large garage till the work was done over the weekend.
So with that they exited to Edinburgh to her family for the weekend.
On Monday they came home to find the garage roof had came in and everythign they own is damaged with water - everything!!!!
The insurance wont cover them as house contents should not be in a garage!!!
Then they find that the sky man was up on the garage roof, a workman told them this, but he wont give them anyting in writing for sky as he may loose his job if his boss found out.
So anyway we take the wee one down the road for 5 days, exhausting but what can you do she cant move into the house like that.
They go to stay with her dad - they fall out and they are back staying in the house sleeping on an air bed with matresses and odds and ends in two bedrooms trying to dry them out.
So son gets someone to come and put on a new garage roodf whilst the sun is shining there the last two days.
So thats ok.
Now we take the wee one home on Monday afternoon have a look around and suggest that its not suitable for a wee one to be in, dirty, wires everywhere, no electric downstairs, the heating is not on yet as electrics not done yet. The kitchen is 3/4 in but no electrics, and wood and but
She who must be obeyed (my daughter in law) wont have a bar of it and she insists her wee one stays with them and that they will cope without any bother.
Hubby and i came down the road very worried indeed, they have a micro and kettle upstairs a air bed a cot and the small tv in bedroom.
Yesterday i get a phone call from my daughter in law, she wants to come and pop in to see us - this is a 40 miles trip - so in she comes and the wee one has a bandage right down her right arm = a burn in her left arm and neck - she seemingly fell and took the hot kettle down ontop of herself.
she had to be rushed into hospital - and this was my dil know all on her way down to edinburgh to stay with her mum till the work is done!
All she could say was im very very stressed and cant go to work ( 2 days a week and we eone goes into nursery).
My son is working full time and helping the workmen after that - trying his best to make things better for them - seemingly she who must be obeyed has fell out with her father and therefore they had to move into the mess of a house.
He is doing cars for work in the house, and working 70 hours a week to keep she happy.
Worried well you bet i am.
Thats the latest drama from here.
From a worried granny and papa.
Familes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
I need a hug please!rincess
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Re: You will never believe what has happend!

Postby unigirl1981 » Wed May 13, 2009 9:40 pm

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Oh Princess,

what a couple of days for you and your poor granddaughter!! how old is she???

i understand how your dil must want her little one with her but no at the expence of her daughter!!!!!! what has your son said about it?????

As for all the damaged goods, thats insurance companies for you, its dreadful how they treat people and ther belongings!!

Am i right to think the sky man caused this? if so can your son and dil take him to small claims court for damages, stress and goods?? you can claim up to £5000 in fast track process. mind you its proving it. unless there is a way of the workman doing it anon??

I know its difficult but you have to let them carry on and just be there for them. if you start kicking up a fuss then they will run the other way. I am worried about the little girl. hopefully her mother will now be more careful and put her daughters needs above her own wants.

i would give it a few more days, offer to help again and if they still say no voice your concerns. worst that can happen is that they throw a wobbly and come round after a few days surely?? just make sure you stress you WANT to help, it will not be too much for you and try and tell them the benefits of being child free???

Just an idea but i know how you feel worring about families who do not see sense!!!!

Hugs to you grandma!!!! try not to worry. (i know you still will!!!)
Just because you have to park in a blue bay doesn't make you any less of a person!

I am the Chair of Doncaster and District Fibromyalgia Support Group; working with FMAUK and loving it.
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Re: You will never believe what has happend!

Postby ellen b » Wed May 13, 2009 9:43 pm

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :grouphug: hugs in abudence coming your way and wishes that tomorrow is a better day
take care from Ellen and the Gang :hugs:
The mind is mostly willing, the body has other ideas XXX
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Re: You will never believe what has happend!

Postby Ruremi » Wed May 13, 2009 9:45 pm

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

and you deserve them but you must share with your son sounds like he needs them too.
from the other side did you always think your mother-in-law was always right and knew best?
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Re: You will never believe what has happend!

Postby princess » Wed May 13, 2009 10:09 pm

HI

thanks no i have thought its not my business so i havent said too much.
I do want to but so far i have bitten my tongue after all its her kid.
I get on with my daughter in law, she is basically a nice woman, a profession lady, clean, tidy, georgous in looks and a good heart - but she is just not the maternal type as she comes first, second and third - everything and one come way down her list of priorities!
Her mum told me that one!
this really worries me as we seem to have the wee one so much to help out - i took ill last year and i had to stop babysitting so much, all hell broke loose cause i didnt care!!! (i was bedded for 10 days 3 times with lung infection one after the other).
Anyway i have had a wee talk to my son, i am concerned that although he is doing all this with the best intentions for his family, he is working far too hard and not having family time as she wants so much. (he broke his back in two places 2 years ago and was very ill and is in pain 24/7 and must look after himself as next time he will be crippled - re specialist).
He is working so very hard 40 hour week, then overtime and then homers and she is spending like water, he cant keep up with it, and they have had a hard time fighting over the very same.
But i retract - It was the safety aspect that bothered us!
The house was not habitable we couldnt understand why they were living there as they had a house to live in 5 mins away and a baby sitter on tap with her step mum.
When we left my husband who says very little , asked her again if we could take the wee one()) 2 1/2) back home with us for a few days as the house was as he considered just an accident waiting to happen! - my son said yes probably the right thing to do as this is a real mess we are really far behind what with the roof carryon - but she said NO!!!!! so that was that.
My hubby was so worried when we left and when she arrived yesterday he had his say (not often he says anyting to be honest) - she didnt like it, but we had just had a phone call from her father's wife to say they had had a real falling out with her! - Over them feeding the wee one 2 portions of chips and too much babysitting on demand to suit her nights out and they felt that my son was getting a f..... raw deal, so she upped and left - he was at work and didnt know what had happened, but anyway what could he do.
I am not trying to be the boss here, i just want what is best for them all, it would be so much easier to have the wee one out of that for another few days and get the worst done.
But well i dont want to cause a scene and fall out with her so i am keeping stum!!!
Sorry just needed to rant
If you knew my hubby he is the eternal good guy, heart of gold and quiet with it (he has to be with me about i can talk for scotland hahah), so when he talks people stop and listen, its not often he voices anything, but he was like me really worried about the aspect of even an adult staying there, and espcially a wee one running about - well he thought he was only helping, he also offered them our house to help them out, we could have stayed with my daughter just down the road.
Mind you they did accept a cheque from us to help!!!
Familes eh

princess
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Re: You will never believe what has happend!

Postby kayonamission » Thu May 14, 2009 6:27 am

So sorry to hear of your son & daughter in laws mis fortune, its so bad when things like that happen as if moving house isnt stressful enough. I can understand how concerned you are about your son over doing things he sounds like a wonderful husband & father working so hard for his family. You are right to have offered to take care of your grandaughter the poor little love must be in some pain with that burn & would be much safer staying with you & your OH. Perhaps your dil just thought she knew best I have a son in law a bit like that, I dont like him much but he is my daughters choise & daddy to my beautiful grandaughter so I have to bite my tongue & be nice to him.
I hope all gets sorted quickly so the family can get settled in thier new home saftly.

Try not to worry princess you were only trying to help

:hugs: Kay x
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Re: You will never believe what has happend!

Postby shazq » Thu May 14, 2009 10:37 am

Oh princess, really had hoped things had settled down, seems not.
Its very hard not to get involved when there is a little one involved, it must be so hard for you to keep stum.
really hope things improve for all of you.
you know where i am if you need to chat .xx :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.
Fibromyalgia Awareness Day May 12TH.
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Re: You will never believe what has happend!

Postby ellen b » Thu May 14, 2009 5:12 pm

Hi Princess, just thought I would drop you a line to see how you are doing?
Take care and best wishes to you and the family :hugs:
The mind is mostly willing, the body has other ideas XXX
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Re: You will never believe what has happend!

Postby princess » Thu May 14, 2009 6:27 pm

HI update

I texed her this morning to see how my granddaughter is - no reply.

I texted her this morning to see how the wee one way but so far no reply.
so had my daughter and no reply there either.

So thats that, she will let me know when she needs to pop in for cuppa and toilet or probably lunch - on way home.

By the way i ended up at the Drs this morning - woke this morning and couldnt move my neck again!!! So back on the 2x4 500mg parac (make me sleepy with my tablets) - and DR has put me for priority for the Physio, as she managed to release my neck last time when i fell. She is not sure is this is stress induced or whether its just a weekness left after the fall last time.

Whatever i am in agony and keep falling asleep.hahahahaha

Thanks for all your replies, its good to get it off your chest. But i woldnt be a good mum if i didnt care eh.

Thanks again everyone i really do appreciate your replies.

I really do think i need to be put out in the field - be put out to grass like the old nag!!! hahahahah
princess :grouphug:
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Re: You will never believe what has happend!

Postby shazq » Thu May 14, 2009 7:25 pm

hope you are feeling better now princess, you make sure you rest up. :hugs: :hugs:
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hi

Postby princess » Thu May 14, 2009 7:36 pm

Well i will try i promise but as you all will gather im a born worrier, just cant help it. funny how some folk go through life without a worry or care, i seem to get them all in one go - oh well never mind someone up there must think i can cope? :D
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Re: hi

Postby shazq » Thu May 14, 2009 8:24 pm

princess wrote:Well i will try i promise but as you all will gather im a born worrier, just cant help it. funny how some folk go through life without a worry or care, i seem to get them all in one go - oh well never mind someone up there must think i can cope? :D


:hugs: :hugs: things can only get better...
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.
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Re: You will never believe what has happend!

Postby princess » Thu May 14, 2009 8:45 pm

Well it just cant get any worse can it :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:
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Re: You will never believe what has happend!

Postby shazq » Fri May 15, 2009 10:07 am

princess wrote:Well it just cant get any worse can it :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

:grouphug: :grouphug: :hugs: dont stress out princess, you will make yourself worse.
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.
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Re: You will never believe what has happend!

Postby princess » Fri May 15, 2009 7:33 pm

Today we got great new for the other part of my family.
My son-in-law who we both love very much was asked to be a training officer for the Army Cadets (he was best cadet in scotland and was going to sign up to join but his mother cracked up and he didnt, but regrets it every day im sure).
So out of the blue a request for him to be sworn in and as a Sargent he will be in a way serving as he will train the cadets.
wow isnt that great news and he can wear his tartan with pride again as a Gordon Highlander!
He was married in the Gordon Highanders Tartan kilt and we had it around the cake and the favours but got permission first of course.
So so happy its not like the army to be honest, but its such a good vocational thing to do to help others.
My daughter works shift so he says he needs to do something to get him away from the work on computer and home on computer.
So proud mummy in law here.
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