Fibro / CFS prayer!

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Fibro / CFS prayer!

Postby kanes_son » Fri Jul 13, 2007 7:14 pm

Fibro & CFS Prayer
"Lord, grant me the serenity to accept
The things I cannot change,
The courage to change
The things I can,
And the wisdom to hide
The bodies of Doctors I shot
When they said,
"You're perfectly healthy,
It's All In Your Head."
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Postby pauline » Sat Jul 14, 2007 6:52 pm

:D Love the joke felt like shooting a few I must admit, but that would be too quick let them suffer fibro for a few years and don't listen when they insist they know what's wrong with them. I would laugh my socks off....
not a compassionate person when it comes to certain people connected with the medical profession..............Pauline
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Postby janham » Sat Jul 21, 2007 3:53 pm

Sounds more and more like fibro fog to me - have a giggle....


You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house. Mowing
the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or whatever.
You are hot and sweaty. Covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit, shorts with the hole in crotch, old
t-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes.

Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to help complete the job.
Depending on your age you might do the following.

In your 20's:

Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. You went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30's:

Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes.
You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the
register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

In your 40's:

Stop what you are doing. Put a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover
the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat.
Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute Cologne is almost empty so you
don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check yourself in the
mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is
spicy.

In your 50's:

Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto
your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dirt in your new
sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that
shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the
register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it.
Then you remember the hat you have on is from your buddy's bait shop and it says, "I Got Worms".

In your 60's:

Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose off the dog mess off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.

In your 70's:

Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they have your
prescriptions ready too. Don't' even notice the dog mess on your shoes.
The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of
her grandfather.

In your 80's:

Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember that you needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart and wonder around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Pass a little wind out loud and you think someone called out your name. The old lady that greeted you at the front door went to school with you.

In your 90's:

Stop what you are doing.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

HERE'S A RIDDLE FOR YOU.
Pantyhose quiz


Q: How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose?

Now, think about it...

Ready?


Answer:


10 little piggies


2 calves ,


1 ass,


and an unknown number of hares.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AND finally

Today's Message of the Day:

Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably...
Never regret anything that made you smile

I WILL GO BACK TO SLEEP NOW.
JANHAM
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Postby pauline » Sat Jul 21, 2007 8:07 pm

:D I always said it was a crazy world we live in............
It's time once again to review the winners of the Annual "Stella Awards." The Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck of New Mexico who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits in the United States.
Here are this year's winners:

7th Place:
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

6th Place:
19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

5th Place:
Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4th Place:
Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd Place:
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd Place:
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms.Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place:
This year's runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.
:lol: Keep laughing, it's good for the funny bones........pauline
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Re: Fibro / CFS prayer!

Postby Adele » Mon Jan 30, 2012 5:59 am

this old thread made me laugh at 5am xx
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Re: Fibro / CFS prayer!

Postby fibro-lu » Sun Apr 28, 2013 6:16 pm

it is definitely worth reading again
the mind boggles
Lu
all the best :cow-wave: Lu
Mind over Matter: in mind I'm Wonderwoman - in matter, well, - don't mind, doesn't matter
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Re: Fibro / CFS prayer!

Postby Iceskatemum » Mon Apr 29, 2013 11:12 am

Loved the Stella awards ....as the saying goes ....only in America!!
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