[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/bbcode.php on line 488: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4780: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3898)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4782: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3898)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4783: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3898)
[phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4784: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3898)
The UKFibromyalgia Forums • View topic - divorce letter



divorce letter

Rib ticklers, hobbies and things to do on a rainy day!

Moderators: perseus, *Lisa*, FluppyPuffy

divorce letter

Postby anne1206 » Thu Apr 30, 2009 6:59 pm

Funniest divorce letter ever

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

FUNNIEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER

Dear Wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm
leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for
seven years and I have nothing to show for it.

These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss
called to tell me that you quit your job today and
that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that
I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal
and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You
ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after
watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you
love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that
connects us as husband and wife.

Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me
anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are
moving away to West Vi rginia together! Have a great
life!

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Dear Ex-Husband -

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your
letter. It's true that you and I have been married
for seven years, although a good man is a far cry
from what you've been.

I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your
constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't
work.

I did notice when you got a hair cut last week, but
the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just
like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say
anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't
comment.

And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have
gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped
eating pork seven years ago.

About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you
because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, and
I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister
had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that
morning.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that
we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for
ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two
tickets to Jamaica . But when I got home you were
gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always
wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote
ensures you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed,

Y our Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell and Free!

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but my
sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem
durate et vosmet rebus servate secundis///>Carry on and preserve yourselves for better times
User avatar
anne1206
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 577
Joined: Thu Jul 03, 2008 10:08 pm
Location: Glasgow

Re: divorce letter

Postby shazq » Fri May 01, 2009 2:44 pm

hahaha read that one before, its a good one though.
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.
User avatar
shazq
UKFM Veteran
 
Posts: 11449
Joined: Wed Feb 11, 2009 8:16 pm
Location: wrapped up under my duvet at home.

Re: divorce letter

Postby samantha louise » Fri May 01, 2009 3:10 pm

hehehe
samantha - louise
and my two little wiggles!
xxx

fuddle off... no,... YOU fuddle off!!
samantha louise
UKFM Regular
 
Posts: 1003
Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2009 3:41 pm
Location: yorkshire

Re: divorce letter

Postby Ruremi » Fri May 01, 2009 4:19 pm

That was pure dead brilliant Anne :lol: :lol: :lol:
Ruremi
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 439
Joined: Thu Mar 12, 2009 10:38 pm
Location: Scotland


Return to Positive and Fun

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 9 guests