Banned from Tesco!!

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Banned from Tesco!!

Postby anne1206 » Sat Nov 21, 2009 2:46 pm

Dear Mrs.xxxxxxxxx,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty
Card, the Manager of our store in west bromwich is considering banning you and
your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our
surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine
products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and
told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a
Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he
began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the
Mission Impossible' theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look'
using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a
while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'

Yours sincerely,
Charles Brown
Store Manager

should i ignore it or not go in there again.
durate et vosmet rebus servate secundis///>Carry on and preserve yourselves for better times
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Re: Banned from Tesco!!

Postby Harley » Mon Nov 23, 2009 12:39 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:

I might have to try some of these. :mrgreen:
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Re: Banned from Tesco!!

Postby andy12720 » Sun Nov 29, 2009 11:42 pm

yeh im game for number 9
9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants
were. :woot:
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Re: Banned from Tesco!!

Postby red dragon » Tue Jan 19, 2010 5:01 pm

:D :D i think i mite try your tesco store as it sounds like a lot of fun. :crazy: :crazy:
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Re: Banned from Tesco!!

Postby princess » Tue Jan 19, 2010 6:52 pm

wish i had been with the husband that would have been FUN
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Re: Banned from Tesco!!

Postby Ems » Tue Jan 19, 2010 7:02 pm

love it !

Yes please i'll have diet coke with mine ;)
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Re: Banned from Tesco!!

Postby donna964 » Thu Feb 18, 2010 3:35 am

Think I might try number 1 - Could try it with anything... perhaps female products in mens' trolleys? Hmmmm *plotting* :clap:
I am bitter and resentful, but most of all, I am the real me. I try to stay positive, but that may slip every now and again. Most of all, I abuse chocolate and pepsi max - don't judge me for it!
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Re: Banned from Tesco!!

Postby fairy dust » Thu Feb 18, 2010 7:06 am

lmao that lot made me smile,thank you xx :lol: :lol:
please bear with me - my brain works fine its the body that lets me down !
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