Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

All your fibromyalgia experiences, questions and answers.

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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby pinky1 » Sun Apr 19, 2015 11:14 pm

I still feel after nearly 3 years I'm in the looking for answers stage. Although sometime when things aren't as bad I feel one accepted it. But I think I have a long road ahead of me to find what works best for me whether that is medication or other things
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby Queenie_70 » Mon Apr 20, 2015 9:35 am

Stages of grief are so real to all of us. They are applicable to any loss....this is a loss of health, and it is just as relevant as if it where a loss of a life, (I suppose a loss of our old lives).

I am stuck, right now, with depression. I have battled it all my life. My father likes to call his bad times "Black dog days." I equate it with a fight, a real fist fight. Each stupid thought I have to punch and knock out, but sometimes, like now, I just can't and the thoughts that cause me to slide into depression overtake everything else.

Being depressed, even without a health problem, is constant. It niggles you from morning to night. Throw in the pain, fatigue, forgetfulness, headaches, stutter, hallucinations, more pain, and God only knows what next, and depression is having a feast....eating away at my soul.

I go from being okay with who I am and my life as it is, to hating everything. If you know me...hate is a word I never use...but hating myself is getting easier.

I have been diagnosed for 10 years...wow....but depression is where I am, and I don't think that will change because that is who I am.

xxx
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby Zia2014 » Mon Apr 20, 2015 2:40 pm

pinky1 wrote:I still feel after nearly 3 years I'm in the looking for answers stage. Although sometime when things aren't as bad I feel one accepted it. But I think I have a long road ahead of me to find what works best for me whether that is medication or other things


You've summed up how I feel at the moment. I was trundling along feeling okay with my lot, then boom the last 2 months or so everything has got on top of me and I cry every day.

Like you Queenie I have depression, but when things are bad it boils up so badly.
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby TheHud » Wed May 27, 2015 11:02 am

I accepted a long time ago that each new year bring less things I can do, each lose is another process. When my wrists went i was glad to still have fingers, post attack, that could do delicate things and untie those knots that no one else could. Then I would look at them and hope down to my boots that they stayed that way. Its been the same with every lose. Now my left arm is nearly useless and my right hand is so arthritic and lumpy it's pretty redundant for delicate tasks, even without the pain. But I can still do one finger typing, with one finger helping out on the left hand when supported.

Fibromyalgia stages of grief, ongoing cycle of new 'elements' we have to come to terms with and we will, because we have to. This is us, we are nearly 10% of the population who suffer at some point. We are so big a group that we may not really be considered a minority.

WE ARE NEVER ALONE :nono:
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby UnderSiege » Thu May 28, 2015 8:13 am

The one about denial is pertinent to me.

I can be sub par as far as performance goes for up to weeks on end so when I am feeling fine, I'm driven to go and kick a*** (there's always things need doing) I push it too far and within a few hours it's my a*** that gets kicked. Every time.
You think I'd learn, and I have but unfortunately my family haven't and as I'm at their behest (my ex wife called it indoctrinated servitude) and can't get away, an a*** kicking is all I got to look forward to.
Seriously, I don't think things are going to change re their attitude until I'm literally driven into the ground or put in hospital...

Btw I am spelling it a*** and not a**. Pardon my language but I'm a Brit not a 'Murican' and I find our take on the word has so much more punch to it, even if only implied...
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby TheHud » Thu May 28, 2015 8:52 am

UnderSiege wrote:The one about denial is pertinent to me.

I can be sub par as far as performance goes for up to weeks on end so when I am feeling fine, I'm driven to go and kick a*** (there's always things need doing) I push it too far and within a few hours it's my a*** that gets kicked. Every time.
You think I'd learn, and I have but unfortunately my family haven't and as I'm at their behest (my ex wife called it indoctrinated servitude) and can't get away, an a*** kicking is all I got to look forward to.
Seriously, I don't think things are going to change re their attitude until I'm literally driven into the ground or put in hospital...

Btw I am spelling it a*** and not a**. Pardon my language but I'm a Brit not a 'Murican' and I find our take on the word has so much more punch to it, even if only implied...


lol A*** all the way you get get loads of feeling into that word, stretch it out, roll the r, hiss the s, evilise the e. You can also add an s at the end and shout it at the wall with absolute conviction and venom :-D

I am surrounded by them too.
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby Celia » Wed Nov 18, 2015 7:44 pm

Hi everyone,

Recently diagnosed after a decade of pain being told it was anxiety. Or that it was all in my head or that I'm lazy. Which could only end up thinking I was mad and maybe it was in my head. I'm a 39 year old single woman with just my mum as my only friend confidante moral support etc. But she's got her own stuff so feeling quite alone as I don't have a man or friends.

I'm going though all stages of grief even though I have known in my own head I've had it for six years.

At least I have my beautiful cats.

Hope everyone on here is ok. As best is possible.

Celia xx
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby Patsb » Thu Nov 19, 2015 3:17 pm

[quote="Celia"]Hi everyone,

Recently diagnosed after a decade of pain being told it was anxiety. Or that it was all in my head or that I'm lazy. Which could only end up thinking I was mad and maybe it was in my head. I'm a 39 year old single woman with just my mum as my only friend confidante moral support etc. But she's got her own stuff so feeling quite alone as I don't have a man or friends.

I'm going though all stages of grief even though I have known in my own head I've had it for six years.

At least I have my beautiful cats.

Hope everyone on here is ok. As best is possible.

Welcome celia
:flowers: :flowers:
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby nadster12 » Tue Feb 09, 2016 5:38 pm

Absolutely lovely post I'm a newbie to Fibro and have felt like this for 9 months or maybe longer as got ill and bedridden.In the past with pain etc.Its hit me hard and had to give my job up as couldn't physically do it.Was am outgoing on the go person.Never stopped doing things.Now everything I do is a chore and always impossible to achieve.Id rather lie down and do nothing.Dont want to get dressed or go out some days.I have sleepless nights and feel like I've hit by a truck everyday.I get headaches earache and either loose stools or constipation.My speech is not good when I've had pain attacks my body is never comfortable.Dogwalks are virtually over and don't want to see my friends as I feel uneasy . Basically I'm totally distraught I've had alot of trauma and stress over the years which has contributed.Im awaiting my new medication which will help.I had my first meltdown anxiety attack at my granddaughters funeral wake it was awful totally staring into space and my face felt like it was melting to the ground.Had a few more after.Why can't I be me again I miss me.X
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby nadster12 » Tue Feb 09, 2016 5:43 pm

Oh I'm 48 years old and have an 11 year old at home.Two cats and a dog to keep me company.My partner has seen me scream in pain but doesn't understand what I have as yet he will be reading up on it.Sorry forgot to mention x
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby louise162 » Tue Feb 23, 2016 8:12 pm

I was diagnosed in October 2007. I've been through every stage and I've accepted my situation. It took my husband a lot longer though; he still thinks I should have some more tests done to rule out other things. He wears me out with it all x
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby heather trippett » Wed Feb 24, 2016 3:58 am

hi i was diagnosed xmas 2015 after 8 years of prodding n poking scans mri blood test ct neurologists and finally a rheumotologist who gave me the diagnosis of fm /cfs oh dont forget the pain clinic i kinda knew that i had it after the first 4 years dramtic change in the last 4 though i sort of come to terms with it hey???? the doctors throws you more meds for deppression right, to get u out of thier room asap cos they think your crazy :roll: well been adviced by rheumotologist to try amatrytaline not sure on this though :-? im on a load of meds allready . my partner annoys mee"u were ok yesterday" my partner says i say bk open ur eyes im never ok i hurt everday u fool and today its worse if only u could step into my body for a day no u wouldnt handle an hour nobody understands and apart from the pain the incontinence and the fibro fog the only other thing that gets me down is that nobody understands or in my case i feel nobody give to hoots about my condition and they just expect me to carry on as normal and i get the huffs n puffs and anger if i dont
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby VixxRivs77 » Sat Jul 02, 2016 5:15 pm

Hello everyone. I'm new to this forum. I only found it yesterday, so please accept my apologies if I've posted this on the wrong thread. I've no idea how this all works. this is my first ever post, you see.
I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia yesterday (1st July,2016) by the Royal National Hospital for Rheumatic Diseases in Bath, Somerset (UK).
I suffer with anxiety and depression, arthritis, IBS and Gastric reflux disease, amongst other things.
I'd always hoped that one day I'd somehow be able to get better and be able to get a job sometime in the future, but now it feels like my long-term plans have all been turned to dust and I feel so angry, lost and frightened for my future. :scream-1: I feel so helpless, and, because I'm getting so forgetful and repeating myself, I feel so thick, stupid and useless. I feel like, at the age of just 39 years old, I've been slung on the proverbial scrapheap and have no purpose in life anymore. I feel ike I'm drunk half of the time, even though I don't drink very often. Rarely in fact. Is it normal to feel like this, or am I just being paranoid? I feel like I'm going mad :crazy: :crazy: and just don't know what to think anymore. :pull-hair: I have very little family support, but some great and supportive friends in my local church, (I'm a Christian. Pentecostal church) which is a real blessing, though I'm not sure they really understand this condition. (Most of my family have abandoned me and accuse me of being a lazy scrounger and make me feel worthless and second-rate as I've been on benefits for over 6 year as I'm unable to work!) I don't know much about it either, to be honest. All I Know is it really hurts, I hate it, didn't ask for it and I don't want it! :too-upset: I'm not sure it 's even fully sunk in that I have this, even though I've had the symptoms for the past few years. I think I'm in denial as I feel OK some days and other days I just feel so exhausted and can't even do my housework. :-? I live in a 3rd floor flat on my own, so things do get quite difficult. some days I can't even go out for a walk as am unable to get up the 3 flights of stairs to get up to my flat. coming down them to go out doesn't seem to be a problem, though.
Has anyone got any advice they could give me, please. My knowledge on living with fibro is very limited. I'd be very grateful for anthing. I really feel alone and in need of hugs at the moment. Sorry to have waffled on so much, but I don't know where to turn or what to do. I miss my old life and can't do many of the things I used to love. Please can you help me? Even if it's just to tell me I'm paranoid about it all and I'm going mad. Thank you in advance. xxx
"Nothing is Impossible with God."
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby Claire'scomfycorner » Sat Jul 02, 2016 7:26 pm

Hi VixxRivs77 :welcome: Welcome to our fibro family. Don't lose hope, some people work (I do :-D ) with fibromyalgia but please know you are not alone.

Fibro fog probably mean that sometimes our memories are not too good, you are not stupid or useless! You are also not lazy, you have a medical disability that makes life difficult, I'm sorry that your family is not understanding, at least you have your friends :-D It takes time to adjust to life with fibro, you will find joy in life again, don't give up hoping and believing

Have a look around the fibro forum, read through as much information as you can, ask any question and if you are on Facebook there is a wonderful supportive UKFibromyalgia group.

Sending you a gentle understanding hug.

Claire
x
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia :) x
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby LindyM66 » Sun Jul 03, 2016 6:46 am

Hi V

I still work full time :-)

For myself, I'm learning what I can do, what I need to do differently, and what I can't cope with anymore ( which I discover after I've done it, and end up like the tin man).
I can't rid myself of this Fibro, so I need to learn how to cope with it, and that all takes time, and a bit trial and error.
I have been disappointed with people I thought were my friends - they seem to have distanced themselves. I found this very hurtful initially. But, they're loss!

You are definitely NOT alone, allow I know this blooming condition makes us feel that way.

Much Love
Lindy x
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