Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

All your fibromyalgia experiences, questions and answers.

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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby trafficklights » Thu Nov 10, 2011 2:18 pm

Oh my goodness I've no idea what stage I'm at, it's taken me until now to get out of bed today I need jump leads to get my act together. I was relieved to have been diagnosed but i've not been told anything else I found this forum by "mistake" is not the right word but it's the only one I can think of at the moment. I am glad I found it though. I feel a bit awkward and not sure where I'm supposed to post things I used to have a brain and a body guess it will take time to adjust and I've got plenty of that, time I mean.
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby shazq » Thu Nov 10, 2011 7:55 pm

:hugs: trafficklights, there is lots to get your head around. Just take it day by day.

With posting on the forum just post where you think the topic is best suited in,the mods will move it if its in the wrong place.
Any questions just ask. :wave:
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby janquil » Fri Nov 11, 2011 1:16 am

I too was like overjoyed to have been told what was wrong with me but very quickly thought on no something is wrong with me. thats when i started looking things up and thought on no im not reading any of that, i can keep going after all i had already hadit for sometimbeen already, so thats what i tried to do. and yes it lasted until things became vary very busy at a period that excells normal days and i couldnt do it, from then on i have found daillyduties around the house more thanenough to deal with, with nap taking when things were bad. being off work makes u feel guilty as u know exactly who u r letting down which doesnt help either but then again if these people knew what i was going through they wouldnt have asked me to do so much, or would they? anyway been off work for bout six months going on to half pay through going to see bupa which is my employers med side so quite glad that they agree with me that i am not ready but where to go now? :oops:
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby smoky » Sun Nov 13, 2011 3:51 pm

I have just recently reached the anger stage! I was diagnosed in 2009 in jan/feb but since the diagnosis have had a good while!

Recently I decided to up my hours at work as the children were older: I work in a system of an annual guarantee of hours which now equates to around 20 hrs a week; suddenly I was being asked to work around 30 hrs + a week which in the way my work is, was worked over 45 hrs!!!! I tried ineffectually to tell my employers that it was too much but failed until 2 weeks ago, when I had a massive remission and resurgence of pain resulting in a week long migraine and much more general pain ( I am capable of blocking most but recently a friend hugged me and for the first time I understood that I was really in pain as I nearly cried out as it hurt so much!!) My doc signed me off for a week and I emailed work, explaining the situation and also resending info on fibro.

Inside I am furious!!!!! :evil: :evil: I dont want this and feel a total waste of space!!!! I dont know if I will ever reach acceptance... but know that eventually I will have to!

I also know that people at work dont really understand ; they did reduce my hours for a while but already >I see that in 2 weeks my programme is back up to 27+ hours and I am having to email them to remind them that I cannot work so much. The annoying thing is that I want to do those hours; we need the money as a family and this each time I say no I feel more useless!

Anyway it is clear the anger stage is mine and I hope one day I will reach acceptance :needhug:
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby Foxydawn » Tue Nov 15, 2011 10:27 pm

Right now I am depressed, I have had my diagnosis for about a month tonight when I struggled to stand up I just started crying. I miss being able to be normal. At lunch today I went for a 20minute nap as I was feeling tired. I work as a ward sister on a neuro ward and the work is getting harder since with cutbacks more and more is asked of us. I don't know how long I can keep going.
Think I will make appointment with gp to get referral to fybromyalgia specialist, maybe they can help
:needhug:
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby shazq » Wed Nov 16, 2011 1:06 pm

Hi Foxydawn

We all go through stages of depression :hugs: its no wonder with what our bodies are going through, you have the extra stress by working on top of all your pain.

Are you able to reduce your working hours at all? If stress form work is getting to you then that will make your fibro worse.

Lots of us are on antidepressants as fibro is life changing, i am on 2 types of anti`ds and still get low days/weeks.

There is not a fibro specialist as such, once you normally have the diagnoses of fibro your GP will treat you.
It does make a big difference to have an understanding GP with fibro. (There are still docs around that dont believe in fibro :twisted: )
I will put a couple of link up for you, one on what different meds are used to treat fibro and the other to show your work/GP if you get any non believers as its an NHS site.

Any questions just ask. :wave:

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Fibromyalg ... ction.aspx

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Fibromyalg ... tment.aspx
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby ladygriff58 » Wed Nov 16, 2011 1:46 pm

hi max2 im also new 2 this forum an i enjoy reading other peoples posts ur sooooo right about the grief an anger i get angry an frustrated cos my mind wants 2 do whatever but my body wont allow it if that makes any sence ive got the brain fog 2day and dizzyness :( an sooooo tired
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby sharon28 » Sat Nov 26, 2011 10:49 pm

Do others feel ok mentally one day then sad the next?? Is this depression? One minute i feel ok mentally, then i change and feel so miserable, Sharon x :cup1: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: Yes, a couple of glasses of wine tonight!!! :(
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby muscles68 » Wed Dec 07, 2011 6:04 pm

FM is life in a bubble
a bubble of lost hope,
lost dreams,
lost feelings,
lost awarness,
lost minds,
and a lost life.

im not religious but i pray, I pray for all those that suffer this, but im sorry if the prayrs dont work,
If i understood this myself id cure you all.
Id just like to say its hard on us and our loved ones.
But we have this forum thats one thing thats good it brings us well me great comfort, i dont feel quiet so alone.
I may stumble i may fall, but knowing help is out there, i may live yet again
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby Roseofsharon » Wed Dec 07, 2011 11:40 pm

I find that I oscillate between all the various stages, I try to accept it but my brain refuses to accept it yet!!! Somehow for me accepting it seems to equate to letting fibro win! In my anger periods I tell myself that since all the tests come back normal then I can beat it, and therefore try and do too much - suffering the consequences as we do.
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby Northernanne » Sun Dec 11, 2011 1:00 pm

Great post really insightful, stuck in the dression stage better than the anger i think :-? really good to know others are the same think i dont want to get to acepting last time i gave up!!! but keep trying will get there in the end :lol:
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby FluppyPuffy » Sun Dec 11, 2011 1:49 pm

I know it's been said a lot, but just take things day-by-day, bit-by-bit anne, you'll find your way thru it in your own time :grouphug: :grouphug:
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby triciagor » Tue Dec 13, 2011 1:39 am

I am going through depression and anger, Being diagnosed with FM is recent being told in September 2011 that I definitely had fibromyalgia. I am not coming to terms with having fibro at all and I cannot fight off the depression that comes along with having FM. I have very little self esteem left feeling like there is no future for me. I am lonely and dont feel that I will ever have a long term partner again. Not having someone to share the highs and lows with is hard, yes I have my children but how can I burden them with no the issues I am going through. Of late I pray for a permanent release from my fibro war, my time in hospital left me feeling lower than ever not even being able to do the simplest things for myself. Someone plse tell me how I can shift this fog that hangs over me
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby FluppyPuffy » Tue Dec 13, 2011 10:00 am

You can get thru things tricia, you may just need a guiding hand to help you find your way there. Please try to go and see your GP and explain exactly what you've said on here. There is help, be it some additional meds to get you thru the fog, talking therapies or a mix of both. Altho neither of the approaches are a "cure", they can help with finding ways for you to look at things and tackle them in a different, more suitable way for you.

There is a future for you, albeit one that you may not have considered before, and there will be that special someone for you as well, probably at a time when you least expect it :grouphug: :grouphug:
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.

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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby triciagor » Wed Dec 14, 2011 2:04 am

Thank you fluffypuffy for your advice I never considered myself to be a weak person until I developed FM, I do feel that I need alot more help than I am getting. I spoke to my doctor whom as referred me to the pain management team, so chatting to them may well help me offload some of my anxieties. I know if I continue to feel as low as I am right now I will sink further and further into depression which is only going to cause me further problems. There as to be a light at the end of the tunnel somewhere
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