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The UKFibromyalgia Forums • View topic - Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief



Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

All your fibromyalgia experiences, questions and answers.

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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby ROSE123 » Sun Mar 04, 2012 10:03 pm

that is exactly how I feel. when I was at the dwp appeal I cried a lot in fact the whole time I was there. I explained to my husband of 39 years who is 1 in a million. that I am grieving for my old life. although I cope on a day to day basis,when I have to describe my life as it is today I get really upset so in general I don't talk about it. So thankyou for putting stages of grief on the board :lol:
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby strife » Mon Mar 12, 2012 4:46 pm

Thank you for posting the stages thingy... makes a lot of sense. I was so relieved when I got a diagnosis in October last, I thought right, I can research, change my life and take charge of this thing. Hasnt quite worked out like that. I also have had a diagnosis of PTSD which has its own problems which sort of cross over into the fibro stuff, they've also said I have some sort of vitamin deficiency which leads to bendy bones, not researched about that too much as yet and pre diabetes, which I'm sure I should really be addressing more to save problems later in life. I was 45 in february and feel about 95.

I think I've gone through the denial, done the researching, got hopeful thinking I can manage, not had the energy to take up the exercise stuff, felt like a failure again, having a flare up at moment so feeling awful and soo guilty for not being a 'normal' human being to those around me. Hate not being able to explain to them that I just feel rubbish, everything hurts and feeling like I have nothing to offer. Been having a mare with the ESA since last year. Finally had a random letter from court saying a Judge has allowed me to appeal. Have no idea what this means for me, and havent got the where with all this week to sort it out although I know I have to. I need to walk the dog, he's looking at me with 'those' eyes, havent the energy to move from one room to another this week nevermind a hike with a dog dragging me up the road.

On a lighter note, I am hoping maybe once this bout passes I might get to the 'acceptance' stage and finally fathom out which of the drugs actually work, or not, which things I eat make my IBS worse, try to get some sleep and maybe just maybe manage some regular exercise and feel a bit more human :roll:

Sorry for ranting/rambling. Bad week. But good to know I'm not the only one, only thing thats stops me feeling totally mad. :crazy:
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby chookie » Sun Mar 18, 2012 11:01 pm

I finally have hit the acceptance part of this journey after many years not knowing what was wrong with me and finally being diagnosed this year. It's only after a crying fit and saying to my husband that I am frustrated at not being able to do 'everything' and he said that i needed to prioritise and cut out the things that didn't come at the top of the list. We have had many similar discussions but this time it just clicked.

I love to do many things connected with church (cafe church, on the board of organising and fund raising), charity (knitting baby garments for war torn countries like Sierra Leone), home and pets (gardening, growing veg, back garden chickens, Guinea Pigs,cooking, housework,kids) and my career (teaching jewellery making, college work for teacher training, selling and making).........but I can't do everything on this long list. I have decided to re-home the Guinea Pigs, give up the knitting, only do housework once a week, tell church that I can only go to certain events and not be able to help out other times, buy more ready meals or have simpler menu's for the week and tell myself not to feel guilty for cutting these things out.

I feel instantly better and less depressed about the future already, thanks to my husband who see's that I love to 'do' but wouldn't accept it. I can now and life looks a lot less cluttered :-D
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby dawn.magness@sky.com » Mon Mar 19, 2012 5:03 pm

Stages of grief is so right !!! I have been through everyone and keep going around and around between stages !!!! And as I've read others stories I cry because they are living my life and I feel so sorry for them !!!! Especially if they are at the start of this journey !!!!!!!!!!!!
At the same time because I've been I'll for so long I have been able to help people understand this fibro and have felt some satisfaction to be able to help makes me feel less useless !!!!! That's a good feeling !!! Take care out there x
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby angelwings1 » Mon Mar 19, 2012 7:46 pm

You just hit the nail on the head Shazq and brillinatly put.

This is exactly how I feel at the moments only I don't have a partner and feel even more alone.

I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel, who's going to want to take someone on like me now, suppose it's my own silly fault for not going out on dates when asked, I was always waiting for my Right :(

Im still not convinced I have it after reading most posts on here, I don't appear as bad as everyone else. Im very angry :-x that my GP did not do a pysical examination on me and just went by what I said. I'm very angry :-x because she didn't even take time to check if it's my back as this has been an on going problem for years, the fack I'm flat footed and my hips and knees roll in should have made her at least eliminate other problems. I'm very angry :-x that I have been packed off with anti depressants and a leaflet telling me to book an appointment for cognitive therapy. I know most of you have had to wait years to be diagnosed with it, mine was less than a week.

I'm not a happy bunny anymore :(
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby denys » Mon Mar 19, 2012 11:49 pm

Thats a very fast diagnosis Angelwings ask for a second opinion if you arent happy other things should have been ruled out 1st as you said keep pushing for answers :fingerscrossed: and :goodluck1:
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby angelwings1 » Tue Mar 20, 2012 1:55 pm

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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby ROSE123 » Sun Mar 25, 2012 8:53 pm

that is a fantastic post and I hope my friends and family read it***
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby stumpy112 » Fri Mar 30, 2012 1:38 pm

Thank you for your post, I was told on Monday I had FB and am at the find out more stage, I am also in denial and wanting old life back so suppose best look forward to next stages.
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby lala1626 » Fri Mar 30, 2012 11:02 pm

just read shaz post about the stages, im definately in the anger stage at the moment, im finding myself totally flying off the handle about ridiculous things and getting so wound up about it i have to have time on my own to calm down, then i realise how silly it was and have to apologise for being a b****h,

i feel that counselling or therapy would benefit me but not sure how i would go about it, how have other people got into it?

can't believe how much being on here and talking to you fab people is helping me, but im struggling to think positive about everything and dealing with simple things in a better way.

:grouphug:
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You don't know what they are going through.
They may need that smile,
and treasure it.

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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby shazq » Sat Mar 31, 2012 12:56 pm

Hi lala

There is lots to take in and it will take time, try not to think to far ahead and just take things day by day,it easier to cope that way.

Your Gp will be able to refer you to counselling or therapy so go have a chat with them and explain how you are feeling.

Once you have your pain/fatigue under control that can make a big difference to your daily life but this can take some time finding the right type of med sometimes it can take a combo of meds to help along with other things. Some find physio helps. :goodluck1:
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby Radar8407 » Sat Mar 31, 2012 4:42 pm

Oh dear I think I went straight to acceptance! I was just glad to find out what this was because my old GP was so unhelpful. The only good thing he did was refer me back to Rheumatology. But, he took over a month to do it!
When your life feels lost. Fight against all odds! Never give in. Never back down!
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby Jaycee » Mon Apr 02, 2012 11:21 pm

How do you move on from denial? I have been dx for 7 months now and have so many of the fibro symptoms, the all over aches and pains, the feeling someone has tied weights to my limbs and turned my brain to mush and total inability to sleep for any length of time, so yes everything says I have it, but then I have a good day and I think there must be some mistake, I can't be Ill.

Its my secret, ive hardly told anyone, as i limp around the office, i let them think ive hurt my back. Will I only move on when the good days stop?
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby denys » Mon Apr 02, 2012 11:49 pm

I dont think so Jaycee I think we move on when we accept the pain is real even if it isnt there all the time or at high levels all the time. Maybe for you it will be when you start to tell people?????????????? but I dont think it has to be when you get worse because there is no knowing if your symptoms will get worse.

Just because some people do it doesnt mean everyone will, just as just because some people dont get periods of remission, others do, this condition is :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: so dont get all caught up in where you should be or where others are in this process its different from person to person :hugs: :hugs: and hopes that you reach acceptance soon (without any worsening symptoms)
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Re: Fibromyalgia Stages of Grief

Postby diamondintherough » Wed Apr 04, 2012 11:38 am

Is it possible to go through ALL these stages throughout a day? Sometimes I feel like I am on an emotional rollercoaster. One min i think yeah i can beat this FMS and the next i worry about the long-term issues.
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