Don't think I can handle anything else

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Don't think I can handle anything else

Postby LouLou » Tue Jan 29, 2013 10:56 am

Morning all

Sorry to come on here for a moan (I know I tell others not to be sorry but I still feel bad when I do it myself lol) It's just that in the last week so much has happened that I don't think I can take anymore.

On Saturday my Grandad was rushed to hospital. He isn't well at all and is often in hospital with his heart. This time he has a bad kidney infection that's spread and is just completely out of it. They are keeping him in for tests. I'm so so worried about him and feel so bad that I can't be there as much as my other family can as I live half an hour away from where my family lives. I can't drive that distance myself anymore because of the pain I have in my legs so I have to wait for someone to either come and get me or for my other half to drive me down.

Then I had a meeting with my boss at work yesterday. I saw the company doctor last year to see if he could recommend any changes that could be made to make work a bit better for me. A long story short but I told him I worked 30 hours a week and coped fine on that apart from the odd bad day when I couldn't go to work at all. I said a laptop would help me as I could work from home on a bad day or even a bad morning and then get to the office when I felt up to it. He said he would recommend that I had a laptop but that I was ok on my hours as they were. This was in October last year. Then last week my boss tells me our HR department want to cut my hours even more because this company doctor has said I need to only do 15-20 hours a week! I don't know where he got that from as I never once said that I wasn't coping on my hours. Oh and no mention of a laptop. Everytime I ask for a laptop I'm given a different excuse. So now I have had to fight to stay on the hours i have already proved I can do and I have had to sign an agreement that I will do those hours or they will make me do a job share with someone else. They have also said they are watching any time off I have even if it's just an hour or two - basically I can't be off at all now no matter how bad I am.

I really didn't need that ontop of my Grandad being really ill. Just to top things off my other half got home last night in absolute bits. Again long story short but he works in a boarding kennels for cats and dogs. A dog sadly passed away a few months ago while at the kennels but it was from old age. Now the Council are trying to shut the kennels down, my other half is being blamed for it when he did all he could. I remember him being gutted about the dog, he adores all the dogs he looks after and he's done this job for nearly 12 years now. He has even rescued 2 dogs from owners mistreating them and we have taken them in (one sadly died last year after living with us for 7 years and we have another lil bundle to love and care for now )Some of the staff have said he is a rubbish manager (he runs the place when the other Manager isn't there) and they have said it was his fault the dog died. He told the dogs owners the dog was ill at the kennels and that he needed to go the vets when they took him there but they ignored him. Now the Kennels is being accused of neglect.

He has taken it all so personally and the kennels may be closed in a few weeks. He has to go and give statements to the Police now. It broke my heart seeing him like that last night and I barely slept and can now hardly walk, yet here I am at work hunched over my desk trying so hard to hold it together. I'm so worried about both of our jobs and my Grandad and I'm in so much pain I have to force myself no to cry.

Sorry for going on but I had to get it out there. Me and the other half talked last night but I feel like he is holding stuff back as he knows what's going on with me and work and my Grandad, and he doesn't want me to feel worse. I just want to be there for him and make him feel better but I don't know how. He wouldn't even let me cuddle him last night which really hurt. He just shut down on me. He is always there for me ready to cuddle me when I'm in pain or upset and I just want to do the same for him.

We are getting married in August in Greece but we can;t get excited about it with so much rubbish being thrown at us right now. Sorry again guys I just don't have anyone else to tell this to as I don't want my other half to worry anymore that he already is and my parents are with my Grandad. If one more thing happens I just don;t think I have it in me to cope with it.
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Re: Don't think I can handle anything else

Postby Maxisback » Tue Jan 29, 2013 11:18 am

LouLou,
Sorry you are suffering my lovely .

It's just a quick comment, ask for a copy of the report the company doctor had issued.
You have every legal right to this and once you have this you have concrete evidence to wave in your boss 's face.

Gentle hugs
Max xx
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Re: Don't think I can handle anything else

Postby photomad » Tue Jan 29, 2013 11:32 am

Sorry things are rubish for you.

I'd be interested to know what kennels / rescue this is. PM me if you wish
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Re: Don't think I can handle anything else

Postby DeniseJ » Tue Jan 29, 2013 11:50 am

Hi,
You are going through an amazingly tough time, just hang on in there. As Maxisback said, try and get hold of a copy of the Company Doctor's report and also seek advice. It used to be that you could get a free half hour consultation with a solicitor and then there is the CAB. There are also charities out there that may be able to offer support and advice.
I hope your Grandad gets better soon.
Also it may help your partner to get some support and advice.
I'm thinking of you both and hope things get better for you soon.
Big hugs. X
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Re: Don't think I can handle anything else

Postby LouLou » Tue Jan 29, 2013 12:03 pm

Thanks guys

I have asked for a copy of his report, still waiting and apparently the lady in HR who has it on file is now off sick and no one knows how long for. I'm going to be persistent though.

I just feel for my other half so much, he did everything he could for that dog he warned the owners when they took him in that he hadn't been well before in the kennels and it was very cold for a dog so old but they didn't listen and boarded him anyway. So my other half kept the dog in their grooming room by the heating and looked after him. He just feels so bad and thinks he's rubbish at his job which I know he isn't, he cares about each and every dog they have. We both know how heartbreaking it is to lose a dog so he more than any of the other staff puts more care into his job. I just hate seeing him like this so worried about me as well as this, poor thing.

Thanks for the messages of support, I guess we just have to wait it out which is the worst - not knowing what is going to happen next.
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Re: Don't think I can handle anything else

Postby LouLou » Tue Jan 29, 2013 12:05 pm

DeniseJ

Just re read your post after submitting mine, sorry not really with it lol. That's a good idea I'd never have thought of that. Going to sit with the other half tonight and get us both to write everything down that's going on with both of us work wise and the go from there.
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Re: Don't think I can handle anything else

Postby fatanne1 » Tue Jan 29, 2013 9:04 pm

my gosh you realy are having a terrible time sometimes life is completely pants, a healthy person would struggle to cope with all you've got going on never mind someone with this vile condition. I realy hope these things get resolved for you soon and that you get your lovely wedding time in the sun is just what doctor orders. :goodluck1: xxxxxxx
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Re: Don't think I can handle anything else

Postby FluppyPuffy » Tue Jan 29, 2013 9:43 pm

Sorry to hear what is happening to you and hubby LouLou :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I wish I had solutions you all need :( :( :( Sending you some special springie vibes in the hope that things start to improve soon :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss:
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Re: Don't think I can handle anything else

Postby denys » Tue Jan 29, 2013 9:57 pm

So sorry LouLou I understand how much you want to cuddle and support your other half. Denise J makes some really good points and :fingerscrossed: you get some help and your Granddad gets better quickly :hugs: :hugs:
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Re: Don't think I can handle anything else

Postby LouLou » Wed Jan 30, 2013 10:16 am

Thank you so much guys

I really appreciate your kind words. I know a "normal" person would struggle with all this and my body is really telling me off at the moment but I'm under so much presure to be at work right now. Especially with hubs to be's job being at risk. I got to my desk and cried with the pain a few minutes ago.

I'm just heartbroken for him as I know how much he adores his job and adores all the dogs he looks after. He gets so upset when anything happens to any of them - as those of you on here with dogs will understand how much they can feel like one of the family.

Our lil fluff ball can sense something is going on lol she wouldn't leave my side last night and really curled up for cuddles. Looking up at me with big sad brown eyes I just melted.

Other half seems a bit better, he's played football twice this week so think he's kicked some of the anger and frustration out. I know he doesn't mean to push me away it's just a man thing. And I know he doesn't want to put more on me that I have at the moment because he can see how much pain I'm in.

We have decided to do what Denise J has suggested. We are having a cosy night in tonight and writing everything down. Then when we have done that we are talking about the wedding. It's the one thing keeping us going at the moment.

My Grandad is still in hospital having tests. My mum said he is flirting with the nurses now so he must be doing a bit better lol.

Thank you again my fibro family :blowkiss:
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Re: Don't think I can handle anything else

Postby fatanne1 » Wed Jan 30, 2013 12:50 pm

heyy lou lou , you sound like your having a slightly better day but we all know that we are very good at putting on our smiliest of faces and because we try to show thease to most of the world only our very nearest and dearest truly know when we are suffering(which is most of time lol. your hubby to be sounds a lovely person for trying not to burden you , mine does that , but sometimes it makes me cross as we are supposed to support each other. I am also a dog lover my little henri ( a westie) is 15 and it breaks my heart to think of any thing untoward. sitting down and talking trough is great way to let off stress and worries , my hubby rubbish at it, not good at discussing my illness at all as he cant cope seeing me in pain and so upset. glad your granddads feeling brighter they do love a little flirt. bless them keep talking and stay strong. focus on your beautiful wedding ..... big hugs anne xxxxxxxx
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Re: Don't think I can handle anything else

Postby LouLou » Wed Jan 30, 2013 3:00 pm

fatanne1

Thank you so much for your lovely post, it's put a smile on my face. I too am very guilty of putting on the "I'm fine" face and getting on with things. Still in a lot of pain and trying to push through work but don't see how I'll last much longer today. I just hope they don't use it against me.

Hubs to be is a little gem, it really hurts me hearing bad things being said about him when I know they aren't true. I just wish he would talk to me a bit more and not be such a man lol wishful thinking but hopefully after tonight we will both be feeling a bit better about things.

Awwww you have a lil westie. We rescued a border collie cross lab last year from hubs to be's kennels after our first border collie passed away. At first she was so timid and nervous of everyone as her last owners were so horrible to her and cut her tail in half! The RSPCA prosecuted them so justice was well and truly served. But the last few months she has really come out of her shell and she is such a loving bundle of fluff. Even when it feels like no one else gets you, just a look or a cuddle from my lil Tinkerbelle (real name Belle that's my nickname for her lol) and the world feels like a much better place. I'm still trying to get her to sit still for five minutes so I can take her picture to use as my profile pic on here lol.

I hope you are having a relatively good fibro day fatanne and having lots of cuddles with Henri.

Thank you again for your lovely message
xx
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Re: Don't think I can handle anything else

Postby denys » Wed Jan 30, 2013 5:28 pm

Animals can make us feel so much better cant they, Harry is a poorly boy (my collie he is my avatar) :fingerscrossed: someone with a little bit of sense will look at what has happened at the kennels and act appropriately
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Re: Don't think I can handle anything else

Postby masonsbarms » Wed Jan 30, 2013 6:29 pm

hi loulou, sorry to hear all you are going through at the moment just wanted to sai,

i hope grandad gets well soon and you and hubby can sort things with your jobs im a firm believer in the truth will out.

take care xx
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Re: Don't think I can handle anything else

Postby fatanne1 » Wed Jan 30, 2013 6:43 pm

They realy do ask for nothing our pets just love, ur hubbytobr couldnt do his kob without a big love for our gour legged friend, i have two boys 10&5 and they will be devasted when h goes to doggy heavrn. Tinkerbelle sounds lovely i cant believe people can be so cruel , they dnt deserve pets, our pups love is unconditinal. Pity moor people rnt like it. Im on a preety bad flair at mo, but at least i dnt have to work full time and my boss is understanding lol cause its me, we dont drserve this cruel condition but hey ho i suppode. Hope ur evening goes well, will be likps bene a bit of a date. Xxxxxxc ps denys hope poor harry ferls better soon, xxxx
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