Fibro Fog and Career / Feeling Low

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Fibro Fog and Career / Feeling Low

Postby Jarf » Sat Feb 09, 2013 11:45 pm

Hello all,

I wanted to apologise in advance...this is my first post and I'm sorry it isn't my usual positive self I hope you will come to know. :) I wanted to share my experience with people who might understand because I'm quite desperate.

I've suffered FM quite badly the last few months (only recently found out what it was!) been seeing doctor and now taking Amitriptyline for about a week. What is killing me most is the fog! I don't feel I can do my job anymore - I work in a technical role in I.T. that I love.

But I'm really frightened, because I've worked my whole life to get where I am. Each day gets harder and I seem less able carry out tasks I had no problem doing before.

On Thursday I came home and just broke down. I can't do this anymore! The thought of being unemployed will kill me. I love the job I'm about to lose but now I'm more worried about the future... I'm not sure what I will do. All the dreams I've ever held as a child melted away as I sobbed. I found myself thinking of taking all my Amitriptyline tablets (comes to about 700mg), along with some sleeping pills and a bottle of vodka I had. I'm not proud of this, my housemate could tell something was not right with me and we talked it through. I'm normally such a positive person and I'm sorry to say but even now it seems like a rational decision. At 30 I don't feel I can continue in this industry - particularly my main passion: programming. You have to have a logical mind that is clear and not like candy floss!

Anyway guys I'm really sorry ... I know this is all rather dramatic...and thank you for reading. I will always be very grateful for any tips or advice on what helps you cope? I have no idea how I am going to tackle Monday, in such a lot of pain right now and so very tired. Just grateful for someone to talk with right now :)

Thank you all for letting me share and thank you for reading. Any thoughts and advice welcome :)
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Re: Fibro Fog and Career / Feeling Low

Postby Meg_Burdus » Sun Feb 10, 2013 12:15 am

As an intelligent person I find the fog a sod to deal with. I lose words in the middle of a sentence and I can't concentrate long enough to make sense of what I am reading. I had to give up on a BA degree a few years ago; I did try to finish it with the OU but that also proved to be beyond me.
Some days are worse than others - usually when I am tired and stressed. I am pleased to say that the flare ups don't last forever and I have been agony-free since September; although I have the daily worry that I will wake the next moring in another flare. Sorry not to be wonderfully positive but you are not alone in this there are quite a few of us out here - unfortunately. :-?
If ATOS has anything to do with it you will always be in work because as far as they are concerned us FM suffers are malingerers.
Keep you chin up hun.
Meg xx
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Fibro Fog and Career / Feeling Low

Postby Morgana » Sun Feb 10, 2013 12:50 am

I too understand... I open my mouth and something completely odd comes out. I told a contractor on Thursday to give call a Paul; I forget people's names when putting calls through; I remember things I should have done, normally at 3am... but I get there in the end.

I am sorry that you feel so low; but glad that you managed to talk about it.

Stay strong

Mo x
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Re: Fibro Fog and Career / Feeling Low

Postby Iceskatemum » Sun Feb 10, 2013 5:43 am

Hi Jarf so sorry you feel like you do but can perfectly understand your fears.

The only comfort I can give you is that given your age you may be at the beginning of your FM journey and so the likelyhood of gaining a period of remission from your flares is probably greater . From reading other posts it seems to be that folk seem to have many years of periods of flares /remissions and being able to keep going & moving through them before they get to the stage that they are unable to work .

I think this has happened to me, I have a science background and so have always use to being very precise in how I came to my decisions in work, with a clear logical path to get me from A-B and a good knowledge of the specialist language . Over the last 25 years or so I have had periods of ill health but it was always put down as depression or I have been investigated for a physical illness that could be behind the pain in various parts of my body. I have always managed to work through these times and during the extensive periods when I wasn't il have managed to move up the work ladder.

However I haven't worked from last May as I seem to have been in one long flare and can truthfully say with hind sight at least the 6 mths before that weren't good . I don't think my results were wrong it just the reports became less fluid and it took me longer to do them , not great when you have a designated period to get them completed and through the system.

What I am trying to say is don't give up .......at 30 you are still quite young in terms of FM and with careful management of your symptoms you can keep moving forward . You seem to be recently DX and so it is natural to feel grief for what might have been and fear for what you feel might be ahead of you .

HAve a look at the posts on the stages of grief or managing you FM or from some the younger FM sufferers. Learning to pace yourself is important , as I often find that the more pain/tired I am the worse my Foggy days .

Look at where you can rest up ...maybe have a break from the office at lunchtime, get into a routine about the house (its amazing what you can do in 15mins.), take the bus rather than walk to work. All little things but things that add up to conserve your energy and hopefully lessen you pain /fatigue .

Good luck on your FM journey and I hope that you are able to work through this awful time with the help of friends/family & of course the wonderful people on here lol

Take care.
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Re: Fibro Fog and Career / Feeling Low

Postby Fibro Fi » Sun Feb 10, 2013 6:42 am

Hi Jarf,
I totally agree with Iceskatemum. And don't forget you've just started on the amitriptyline so you are most likely have a hangover feeling in the mornings due to that. It may take a few weeks to get used to it and then to feel the real benefit ie, better sleep.
Don't give up on your career yet. You are going through a bad spell but you will get through it. Maybe use some of your oil day to have a complete week of rest? And pacing is definitely the key.
I've had FM for 23 years but have only not worked for the past 3 due to chronic fatigue (and moving to Saudi Arabia!). I was having this work discussion with my husband last night as I am still only 42. I just need to find something when I get back to the UK that my body can cope with. I think my days of nursing are over!
It is natural to grieve over what you have lost in terms of energy. But I believe that if you take positive action now and do what ever you need to do in order to feel better, then you will have a great career ahead of you. For me, pacing and changing my diet have improved my health.
So, good luck and don't lose your hope, hand on in there!
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Re: Fibro Fog and Career / Feeling Low

Postby dotty lotty » Sun Feb 10, 2013 8:30 am

Sorry you are so low. Glad you have a good housemate who you could talk to. If you are still having thoughts about all your tablets and vodka please get an urgent GP appointment. Amitriptyline does take up to 4 weeks to kick in and depending on dose may also help mood. Fibro fog is difficult to deal with and I am lucky in the sense I was able to give up work at 55 on my terms (for an other condition). Still have to leave notes about house to remember things.
Speak to your line manager HR or anyone at work who is in a position to help you through this very difficult time. What about reducuing your hours or work load.
I am new here but reading other posts there are good spells in between flare ups. Hopefully your positive self will return. There is always someone on the forum who will help and offer moral support.
Big breaths for Monday and good luck. :teddy-bear:
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Re: Fibro Fog and Career / Feeling Low

Postby wilkoc » Sun Feb 10, 2013 9:57 am

Has your Dr prescribed you anti-depressants? It is important to urn to control depression with fibro as it has a huge impact on symptoms. One of the best things you can do is to talk so you did the right thing coming on here. We all understand how it feels to have these feelings.

I too am only recently diagnosed (in December) and have been put on pregablin and am still trying to get the dosage right. I was already on a low dose of anti-depressants so they didn't change those. But I have started on a course of counseling which is something that has really helped my depression in the past. Talking to Romeo can really help to get your mind straightened out a bit. It may be worth asking your GP about or even your employer through the occupational health as they have an obligation to your heath bt work under the disability act if you've had a formal diagnosis.

I have terrible fibro fog problems myself, and as a teacher, it causes a lot of problems with forgetting children's names, facts, spellings, what comes next in the lesson, etc. I've even had to start calling all of the kids hun when I can't remember their name.

I think the key is finding ways to adapt and pace the work we do. You don't need to do that alone. You obviously have a good flat mate, there's us lot on here and there's health professionals whose job it is to help us. Do not be afraid to ask for help. It is not a sign that you can't do your job, just that you need to find a different way to do it.


Good luck and look after yourself.

Feel free to pm me if you want to talk.
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Re: Fibro Fog and Career / Feeling Low

Postby monica » Sun Feb 10, 2013 3:16 pm

Still have to leave notes about house to remember things.


I do this, it's the only way anything gets done in this house! i frequently open my mouth and forget what I'm trying to say. Makes you feel so stupid! I also find I have to read sentences several times over before it sinks in.

Sorry you are having a rotten time with work. Hope you can sort things out.
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Re: Fibro Fog and Career / Feeling Low

Postby LouLou » Tue Feb 12, 2013 12:06 pm

Hi Jarf

No apologies needed on here. You are more than welcome to come and unload on here. I'm the same age as you (well I'm 30 in April) and like you I have been very career orientated. I've had a job since I was 16 and really worked hard to get to where I am today (I work in Finance) Then FM hits along with flippin fibro fog and I sound like I've lost the plot most days lol.

About a year ago I was really struggling to work my 45 hour week, my health was suffering, my homelife, my work. So I cut my hours down and I now do 30 hours a week. I start at 9am as I struggle with mornings and finish at 3.30 which gives me time when I get home to get enough rest for the next day. have you thought about doing this in your job? Do you have a HR department you can speak to about this or can you work from home some days? I know what you mean when you say about being without a job as I feel the same. There are so many people on here unable to work with their FM so I feel lucky in a way that I still can do some hours and will continue to do so until my body tells me otherwise.

I too have had the same kind of thoughts you've had, luckily you had someone there to talk it through with. Please don't ever think you are on your own in this, there's usually someone on here most times of the day and night lol.

In regards to getting through a work day, I have post it notes everywhere, reminders pop up on my e-mail all the time and yes I do struggle with what others call "straight forward" tasks. It may take me a bit longer but I always get there in the end.

I hope that helps in some way
xx
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Re: Fibro Fog and Career / Feeling Low

Postby jo_jo789uk » Tue Feb 12, 2013 3:27 pm

Hi Jard,

I completely understand where you are coming from.

I am currently a Legal Executive, and am on the way to completing my training to become a solicitor. I have already put 7 years of my life into the career and I want to feel as though I have done as much as I can do, rather than giving in part way through.

Unfortunately my Fibro symptoms are making this very difficult.

I feel I am an intelligent person, so the fog, confusion, memory difficulty, concentration, focus etc is the hardest part for me. It frustrates me so much when I can't even figure out what priority I need to deal with my work in - its a simple organisational task and I don't like feeling as though I can no longer do my job.

I am a very independant person. The thought of relying on other people to have a good income etc is horrible to me so I am hoping I can continue working, even if it means cutting my hours.
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Re: Fibro Fog and Career / Feeling Low

Postby Jarf » Sun Feb 17, 2013 7:35 pm

Thank you all for sharing your experiences :) it really means a lot to know I'm not alone - thank you :)

Feeling in much better spirits today so just wanted to thank you and let you know not to worry. Like others have said in this thread, I feel I have so much to give, so much I should be able/want to do with my life - yet frustrated and still coming to terms with these new limitations. Just need to avoid getting stuck in that little negative cycle of reasoning there! :)

I've taken time off work to see doc as I was in so much pain I couldn't get out of bed. He said basically nothing can be done except continue Amitriptyline (this is my 2nd week) and after almost begging him - he kindly prescribed Co codamol 30/500 which work wonders, but knock me out! (so not good if I'm trying to work), but at least offers a nice break from the severe pain I was having.

I wanted to ask: in terms of pain management: what do you all use / get prescribed and does it work for you? I just realised that I know almost nothing about pain management for FM and I now need to do some reading on this! :) as its now quite important. But I.get the impression my doc may not prescribe anything at all unless I ask.

Anyway, thank you all again...just wish I could hug each and every one of you!
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Re: Fibro Fog and Career / Feeling Low

Postby wilkoc » Sun Feb 17, 2013 8:08 pm

I'm really glad that you feel more positive and know that you have the support of everyone on here.

Much like yourself, I haven't been diagnosed for long so I'm still on a steep learning curve myself. My Dr has put me on pregablin and co codamol. I've had to have my dosage of pregablin increased as it wasn't terribly effective. I'm still trying to get the dosage right, not quite there yet though.

Good luck.
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Re: Fibro Fog and Career / Feeling Low

Postby FluppyPuffy » Sun Feb 17, 2013 8:22 pm

Glad you're feeling a bit better in yourself Jarf :wave: :wave: :wave:

WRT meds and what works, unfortunately where FM is concerned, what may help one may not do much for another, so it's a case of trying different things at different dosages and in different combinations to find the most suitable recipe for you. This linky is one that we often use http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Fibromyalg ... tment.aspx It has info about the various types of meds used to manage FM and as it is the NHS site, the credibility of it can't be disputed by your GP. If you have a look at what can be used, then when you feel you need something else or extra, go armed with info about it and ask your GP about whether it could be suitable for you to try. With what you have said about your GP and what could be a reluctance to prescribe things unless you ask for them, taking a moreirect approach and asking about things being suitable for you may be the best way to go, for now at least.

Most of the meds that are mentioned in the linky will also be mentioned on here, as well as people's experiences with them, both good and bad, so you should get an idea about things like side effects, how long it can take for things to take effect etc.

The co~codamol can knock you out at first. Hopefully tho, as you get used to the dosage, the knock~out effect should start to ease off whilst still being effective your pain levels.

The amitriptyline takes about a month to fully get into your system and take effect, so you may not feel it's full benefits just yet. If you have the hangover/zombified feeling in the morning, there are a couple of things you can try to ease it. For some, taking the amis a couple of hours before going to bed can help, whilst others have found taking them 12 hours before they want to get up can help.

And as you know, we're always here with advice and suggestions and support :bear-dancing: :bear-dancing: :bear-dancing:
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Re: Fibro Fog and Career / Feeling Low

Postby jo_jo789uk » Mon Feb 18, 2013 2:17 pm

I have been on co-codamol 30/500mg, naprosyn 500mg and I am currently on Tramadol.

Unfortunately all the tablets make me drowsy, with Tramadol being the worst - they make me feel as though I have a hang over when they wear off!

I haven't yet been able to find a perfect way to manage pain whilst I am in work. I try to limit my painkillers as I can't do my job if I am feeling drowsy or drunk, but sometimes obviously that isnt possible.

I take glucosamine, chondroitin, multivitamins and vitamin B12 tablets - I am hoping in the long run they may balance out the symptoms by giving me more energy, helping with my bones and muscles etc. I haven't been on them for long so not sure whether it is going to be a helpful tool just yet but I thought it was worth a try :)
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Re: Fibro Fog and Career / Feeling Low

Postby LouLou » Mon Feb 18, 2013 4:08 pm

Jo Jo

I'm on co codamol and tramadol - same as you and when I first started them I found that they made me feel the same and I still work 30 hours a week - which was a nightmare lol. I lost count of how many times I hit my head off the keyboard from falling asleep.

I've been on them for about a year and a half and I found that after being on them for a few months that "hangover" feeling eased off and I can take them while I'm at work with no side effects. But with all things FM related the effects could be different on some people and I don't know how long you've been on them?

I get all my prescriptions from Boots as they collect them from the docs for me so it's only one trip for me lol, but I have got to know the pharmacist really well there. If you can't get in with a doctor to ask about your meds it may be worth asking at your local pharmacy for any advice about your meds.
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