Remember .....when life was fun ?

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Remember .....when life was fun ?

Postby Iceskatemum » Fri Mar 01, 2013 12:33 pm

Went and got my hair cut & coloured yesterday as the mop on my head looked like a pair of mult coloured curtains. It was last July when I last went and so the colour had grown out and my "normal" colours of brown & grey had taken over .

it suddenly struck me as I squirmed on the chair for the hundreth time that there are now very few things in life which are fun anymore.

I used to enjoy girly visits to the hairdresser...listen to the chat about who was going where and the latest fashions etc. Now I was struggling and just wanted it over ,so I could get home to my safe haven . The same goes for trips out to the shops with girlfriends or to the beutician ...two activities I haven't done in ages. I just about manage a short trip for a coffee with a friend every two weeks or so .

Any body else feel the same?
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Re: Remember .....when life was fun ?

Postby SuperCat007 » Fri Mar 01, 2013 12:50 pm

Yup...

I was riding 3-5 horses a day, doing A-levels and doing well, going racing, and finding places I could go and get more experience riding racehorses then WHAM! Have hardly ridden a horse since. :(

You do find new ways to enjoy yourself though. You have to, I don't think I could stand life if I constantly thought about the things I can't do now which I used to enjoy. I'm still quietly hopeful I'll be able to resurrect at least a tiny part of my old life. :)
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Re: Remember .....when life was fun ?

Postby Flaw » Fri Mar 01, 2013 1:38 pm

Yep,my FM hit when I was 17, spent a year in bed and then started to get a bit better. Ended up being able to have a couple of years going out and having fun then it came back and hasn't left me since. I feel like I was robbed of all the things everyone else got to do as second nature. If I want to go to a dinner with friends I have to make sure I have nothing planned before to prepare and a few days off after to rest.

I also have always had horses and miss riding and not worrying about falling off. I haven't ridden since September but I'm hoping summer will be easier. I know if I had a tumble or a very strong ride it'll take it's toll. I still very much enjoy pottering down the yard though and I intend to do a lovely garden for the summer.
Although FM and related illnesses are god awful and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, having it means I constantly take stock of my life and appreciate all the good days to their fullness. I also know I have true friends and loved ones. I don't think many 'normal' people can say that for themselves.
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Re: Remember .....when life was fun ?

Postby monica » Fri Mar 01, 2013 2:01 pm

Another horse rider here who doesn't ride much any more. But I do still go occasionally and really enjoy it when I do even though at the back of my mind I think what would happen if I fell off. With my thin bones it would be a disaster :(

It's the having to plan your days thing so you can cope that drive me up the wall. :crazy:

I agree with others that it doesn't do any good to dwell on what you use to be able to do. Thinking positive and finding new stuff to do helps me cope with it better. I don't like to give in to it!
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Re: Remember .....when life was fun ?

Postby FluppyPuffy » Fri Mar 01, 2013 2:29 pm

Errr.......I think so, it was so long ago :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

TBH, with me being a member of the club for so long now, the things I used to do and how I used to be are more like hazy memories that I probably look back on wearing rose~tinted specs that have been washed in far too many different sorts of alcohol :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine:

These days, even the most painful and darkest of them, it is the smaller things that make me :-D :-D :-D and :lol: :lol: :lol: usually involving DaftDog and/or OH :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss: They're a bit thin on the ground where :yikes: :yikes: :alien: :alien: teenager is concerned at the moment, but everyone keeps reassuring me that's because he's a :yikes: :yikes: :alien: :alien: teenager and they all do this :police: :police: :police:

Like Flaw, I've found who is true and important to me and I look forward to seeing them when I can, even tho a visit involves military planning and timing to take place.

Iceskatemum wrote:Went and got my hair cut & coloured yesterday as the mop on my head looked like a pair of mult coloured curtains. It was last July when I last went and so the colour had grown out and my "normal" colours of brown & grey had taken over .

it suddenly struck me as I squirmed on the chair for the hundreth time that there are now very few things in life which are fun anymore.
This was how I used to be preFM when it came to my hair and such things. Now I can't tolerate having much done to me, but the one thing I can cope with and really enjoy is my regular trip to the hairdressers. From just going as and when, the past few years have helped it develop into a rather indulgent pleasure that I look forward to as it's one of the few times I have that leaves me feeling relaxed and guilt~free and a bit more girlified, at least for a little while :bear-dancing: :bear-dancing: :bear-dancing:
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Re: Remember .....when life was fun ?

Postby LouLou » Fri Mar 01, 2013 3:03 pm

Hi ISM

I'm another one in the same boat as you. I've always been a typical girly girl, loved all the pampering, getting nails done, using body scrubs and having a good pamper session. Now just typing that makes me need a nap lol.

I'm growing my hair at the mo for when I get married in August and I've always tried to look after it with regular cuts - which I did used to love as I love love love anyone playing with my hair. Now the thought fills me with dread and I tend to leave it a bit longer between visits. All I can think about while I'm there is "How long till I can get home"

I used to love girly shopping trips with my mum and sister and could spend hours walking round the shops. These days I order a lot online as I can't handle it anymore. Same goes for nights out with OH and my sister and her OH. We used to go out for meals/to the cinema/for drinks but I can't manage to do that very often anymore.

I do sometimes think about all these things and feel a bit sad, but I also think that if given the choice now if I was completely pain free I think I would choose a cosy night in than going out, if that makes any sense? I don't exactly feel like I am missing out or not living as we do still get out and do things I just have to plan it a bit better and make sure I have enough rest before and after. I can't drink very much anymore, not just because of the effect it has on my pain but because I'm finding that I just don't enjoy it as much. I love a nice glass of Rose every now and then but the days of getting hammered at clubs would definitely be over for me by now even if I didn't have FM.

We still socialise with my sister and OH but as they got married last year and have a house they don't have much money so they prefer to have a night in at one of our houses and we'll order in a takeaway and watch some dvds.

I know what you mean though and sometimes I do wish that I could just do things spur of the moment and not have to worry about my energy/pain levels or whether I'll be ok the next day. But as my GP said to me when I was first diagnosed "Fibromyalgia is not live threatening just life changing"
What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger ;-)
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Re: Remember .....when life was fun ?

Postby VLB » Fri Mar 01, 2013 3:39 pm

I too am a horse rider recenctly diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. I am still trying to get to grips with living and enjoying life despite the constant pain and exhaustion. I do not always get it right. I have my own horse. He is on full livery so I do not have to do any of the heavy stuff, just groom and ride. I get a great deal of pleasure from it but can only really cope with riding 4 days a week for 30-40mins. A bit different from the 4 hours a day, plus full time work with horses I was doing up till 2006. I miss those days. Just this week, I decided I was going to take him on the gallops at the yard next door. He was very excited at first and pulled me about a lot which hurt, but once he settled, we both had such a wonderful time. Now I am in agony. My neck and shoulders are so sore I've had to take my maximum dose of pain relief and am laying in bed with wheat bags on all the sore areas. I should be at work I wonder if the fun was worth all this pain! Also went for dinner and a catch up with an old friend, someone I partyed with a lot when work full time with horses. Just one later night has left me completely exhausted and fit for nothing. I am currently attending a Pain Managemennt Program. It has been useful and have learnt some helpful techniques, however I do not think any of these will allow me to live my life as I used to. I guess I am still mourning the end of life as it was before, and am yet to accept that I will no longer be able to do all the things I could before. I will have to make a plan of how to live life differently, annd factor in rest days after more stenuous days to recover. Any advice on pacing activitie welcome :-)
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Re: Remember .....when life was fun ?

Postby PainBeGone » Sun Mar 03, 2013 4:40 am

I often find myself thinking that I no longer live, I merely exist.
I can no longer do the things that made me happy. I have played violin since I was 7 years old, and guitar since I was 13. I can no longer play. I'm a stubborn mare and constantly try to pick up my instruments, determined to not let this condition beat me; but I can never manage more than a few minutes before the pain in my arms, wrist and fingers becomes unbearable and I have to stop.

I get so angry. Angry at myself, angry at my stupid body that seems to be failing me at every turn. All I want to do is sleep, but I can't even do that normally!!!

I'm relatively new to the "club" (can I hand my membership back please?!) so I hope that with time I will learn how to adapt better!

I am determined to live and not just exist!
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Re: Remember .....when life was fun ?

Postby Gromit » Wed Mar 06, 2013 6:05 pm

Another horse rider here, although I haven't sat on a horse in a year and four months :( the way that I am feeling I doubt I will ever get back on again. I used to be on the go constantly but now I barely manage work 4 days a week, I'm back home in bed by 7.30 each night and my OH does almost all the house work and child care now, just so I can hold down my job, we desperately need my wage as well. I have found other things to do, I've always been artistic and that has become my hobby.

I keep on struggling on though, life still has lots to offer, it's just very, very different to what I imagined life to be xxx
Love from Grom :) xxx
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Re: Remember .....when life was fun ?

Postby painprincess1 » Wed Mar 06, 2013 10:01 pm

oh thank god im not alone here to . i can go to the town and do an hour of i push it to two i can barly walk home.im soooo fed up of not being albe to go out and enjoy it. i wouldnt say im a girly girl but i loved going out for a drink and i did love my nails done
hair dye hurts my head now thanks to fibro so going gray ,late night are only cose i cant sleep not cose im out having fun. but i have my lovely baby girl and she really does keep me going,so many little things she does make my day .
smiles and the world smiles with you. cry and you cry alone.
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Re: Remember .....when life was fun ?

Postby ouchiemama » Sat Jun 01, 2013 8:27 pm

Ahhh I hear ya!

I had my hair done today, I usually love those 3 hours to myself, catching up on any gossip..today has made me shattered :sleep:

I didnt enjoy it like I used to, my back & neck were killing me, the lights, the noise, the smell :pull-hair:

As soon as I got home, pjs on, fluffy slipper socks for my always freezing feet & lovely new doo scraped back in a bobble!!

Hmmm what was the point in that I am now wondering!!

Sorry no help from me, just letting you know youre not alone! :hugs:

xx
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Re: Remember .....when life was fun ?

Postby Purpledot » Sat Jun 01, 2013 9:38 pm

I've had to finally admit defeat and give up the the passion that has defined my life, provided me with a wonderful OH and given me so many amazing experiences and memories since my early teens..........am dram!

I know it's not for everyone, but my parents were always involved and I just started going along with them and got hooked! I met OH doing musicals (yes, I used to do full-blown musicals, dancing, singing acting etc.......couldn't even cope with sitting in the audience these days :( ).

After my son was born 18 years ago I stopped performing and started doing backstage stuff, which is actually just as enjoyable and rewarding. I love it, and it has been something that my whole family has enjoyed for as long as I can remember. My son, too, got hooked at an early age, even doing some professional performing as a younger child.

Last November, I had to pull out of a production a week before opening night as I suddenly became too ill with a major ME/Fibro flare-up. I was devastated. I have struggled down to 2 rehearsals since then, but I don't even feel well enough to do that any more. OH is stll heavily involved, and my wonderful son is now a professional musician, so at least I can share their excitement.

It is so devastating when you can't even do the things that define who you are and that provide you with balance and joy in your life.

Still, I am determined that I will be back there in the wings one day.
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Re: Remember .....when life was fun ?

Postby Flash » Sat Jun 01, 2013 10:17 pm

Oh I hate hearing that familiar clip clop now or the thud thud of hooves on grass... :horse_running: :horse_running: I miss sitting in the saddle.

I was also very active and kept going through the last 18 years slowly grinding down until last year when the final straw broke the camels back... Or my back... :yikes:

I miss the horses, the cycling, canoeing, running, the long walks... I'd love to find something to keep me going but my eyes have given up on me so my art, reading and writing is out too. :roll:

I now have a lad cut and strim the grass but the rest of the gardening has been left. I can't plant my potatoes and veg...

Yep, I remember the good days, miss them too. :(
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Re: Remember .....when life was fun ?

Postby LuluAnne » Sat Jun 01, 2013 11:37 pm

Reading all the replies makes me sad for all of us who have lost many wonderful parts of our lives. Life is still good but I have to be more creative and selective in things I do now. I used to be able to garden non-stop for hours but now I can only manage a couple of hours and then need to spend the rest in bed. I'm still trying to pace myself and miss the energy I used to have.
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