Bereavement, constant migraines had enough

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Bereavement, constant migraines had enough

Postby juejue » Fri Apr 26, 2013 9:44 pm

Ok so my mum died suddenly and unexpectedly in January and since then I've had migraines pretty much everyday, starting with pain behind my ears and moving to my face, symptoms really exacerbated. Been off work since it happened, everything falls under grief apparently. Sad, fed up, angry, scared of going back to work next week. Not sure why I'm posting this. Sorry

Thanks for reading
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Re: Bereavement, constant migraines had enough

Postby lolo73 » Fri Apr 26, 2013 10:06 pm

I am sorry for your loss. I am wondering if your headaches are stress induced. Do not take paracetamol on a regular basis because it is proven to cause headaches if used on a regular basis x
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Re: Bereavement, constant migraines had enough

Postby sheila300 » Fri Apr 26, 2013 10:17 pm

Sorry to hear about your loss. Sending hugs to you. x
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Re: Bereavement, constant migraines had enough

Postby juejue » Fri Apr 26, 2013 10:23 pm

Thanks for your replies, not taking paracetamol but think you're prob right that they are stress induced as migraine meds not working anymore. Lots of pain behind ears and in jaw does anyone else get that?

Cheers x
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Re: Bereavement, constant migraines had enough

Postby Iceskatemum » Fri Apr 26, 2013 11:26 pm

Jue jue , So sorry to hear of your mums passing. Loosing a parent is an awful time for most of us & a very stressful experience, especially if it was sudden and without warning like your mums . I found that while I had difficulties after loosing my dad, loosing my mum was especially difficult as I had in my adult years especially the last few before her death developed a very close bond with her and all the angst of my teenage & early adult years when I thought I knew everything was forgiven and forgotten .

It isn't that long since your mum died so don't be too hasty in trying to return to "normal " and never feel you have to apologise for your feelings or emotions especially on here. I often think that we are very quick in our culture to brush someones loss into a corner . I remember thinking that I wanted the world to know I still hurt and was anxious and sensitive in the weeks and months following mums death and to have the trapping of mourning as in times past would have been a sort of comfort. So try and be as kind to yourself as you possibly can, especially if you have to tackle some of the practicalities that have to be attended too following a death.

You are probably right when you say that your migraines are stress induced. It could however also be due to your life style , when you are stressed especially after a bereavement you can sometimes miss meals or eat fods that you wouldn't eat normally eat, you miss sleep or even sleep to long all of which can be one of the triggers for migraine type headaches.

Have you been to see your GP about your headaches , to have them everyday for weeks at a time , should be investigated. Even if they are stress induced there should be some help available . Having attended a managing Chronic pain course I would suggest that you might try some alternatives to painkillers , this can include using aromotherapies to give you a sense of calm and peacefulness, perhaps use one of the menthol based sticks that you apply to your forehead or even breathing exercises or meditation. Any of these might help you break out of your pain cycle. There are some good "to do" videos of the latter two on You Tube.

If you have no one that you feel comfortable talking too about how you feel and how you are coping with your mums death you might also try contacting a bereavement charity or councellor. They can help you work through your grief in a manner and time that suits you .

Again so sorry for your loss and will be thinking of you in the times ahead
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Re: Bereavement, constant migraines had enough

Postby shazq » Sat Apr 27, 2013 3:46 pm

Hi Jue Jue

Sorry to hear about your mum :hugs: it could be stress causing the migraines so go to see your gp and he will be able to give you something to help you through this. It is understanding that bereavement can cause stress and your worries about returning back to work and you are probably not sleeping very well either this all builds up. :flowers: Your gp will be able to prescribe a migraine med.
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Re: Bereavement, constant migraines had enough

Postby FluppyPuffy » Sat Apr 27, 2013 4:21 pm

I'm sorry to hear it was time for your mum to return to the angels juejue :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss: OH's dad had to go back to them very unexpectedly just over a year ago and it still hurts, altho not quite as badly as at first. You need to give yourself some time to find your way thru your grief and back to somewhere like things tend to be. It will take as long as it needs, you can't rush thru it I'm afraid, but you will come out of the other side again :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

I'm another who thinks you should go and see your GP about these headaches. I was having full~blown migraines pretty much daily for quite a while and they are debilitating. I quickly reached a point where I couldn't function, so was hauled off to see my GP about them. I've ended up on beta blockers along with additional meds for when one does strike. I'm now down to one happening every 10~14 days which, altho still unpleasant, is far more manageable. When I do get one, it's still a full~blown nuclear meltdown, but the meds for when it does strike help reduce its nastiness to a degree.

The aromatherapy suggestion from ISM is also one that can help, esp with relaxing, which in turn can help with the headaches. I tend to use wax melts in a burner, as well as fragrancing the house, the right mix of them can be rather soothing as well. It might be worth exploring things a little more to see if it might benefit you as well. The balms that you rub across your forehead can also make a difference. Again there are different ones, so you'd need to find one that suits you.
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Re: Bereavement, constant migraines had enough

Postby juejue » Sun Apr 28, 2013 8:31 pm

Thanks for your replies, it's good to know people understand. It is hard ISM that the world goes on without you part of me wants scream I am so unhappy, and hurting, why are things going on as normal? By this I don't mean I want others to be unhappy I really don't. I will try out the aromatherapy suggestions and see how it goes. I am already on migraine meds but they seem to have stopped working, probably because I am taking them so often, I mentioned it to my g.p and she just said everything I was experiencing was normal, and it probably is but that doesn't help in the short term though. The pain in my jaw and behind my ears is really intense does anyone else get this before a migraine?

Thank you all
Jue x
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Re: Bereavement, constant migraines had enough

Postby painprincess1 » Mon Apr 29, 2013 9:00 am

darling im soo sorry u lost your mum.
i lost my brother and his wife within 8 days that was after the breakdown of my marriage .all this brought my fibro full blast,my mum suffers from cluster headache and has been so much worse since so id guess your is pure stress and lose my sweet.maybe worth going back to dr and getting something stronger xxxxxxx
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Re: Bereavement, constant migraines had enough

Postby Iceskatemum » Mon Apr 29, 2013 10:53 am

Hi Jue jue ,I totally get what you mean about wanting the world to know about your loss, I remember saying to someone it would have been much easier in Victorian times as you would have been in black for so long and then half mourning of purple for another set time so folk knew that you were hurting . We seem to hav elost all the traditions that gave the person some support in thier grief.
PM if you feel you need to chat more.

Before FM my migraines were the same for many many years , I would feel very nauseous with a slight headache then both would increase eventually getting to a stage when I would feel that if only I could be sick the pain and nausea would go away.

However since FM my migraines have changed and I now have a lot more symptoms some of which would seem to mimic a slight stroke on one side of my face .
I'm only saying this to let you know that migraines can "show" themselves in many different ways so although frightning and possibly new your new symptoms are probaly totally normal .

However if you have any concerns go see you GP and if you feel that they are not helping ask to be referred to a migraine specialist or pain clinic.
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Re: Bereavement, constant migraines had enough

Postby LouLou » Mon Apr 29, 2013 2:25 pm

Hi Juejue

I am so sorry for your loss and what you are going through. I don't have any experience in this area but I wanted to send you my love and thoughts as I can't begin to imagine how you feel.

Sending you lots of :hugs:
What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger ;-)
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Re: Bereavement, constant migraines had enough

Postby juejue » Thu May 02, 2013 3:56 pm

Thanks everyone for your support it really helps. The stress has increased dramatically in the last few days as redundancies have been announced, my job is under threat, there aren't enough jobs to go round and we have to re-interview. I don't think I can handle an interview at the moment and am so scared cos my sick record is rubbish because of the fibro and depression.

Don't know what to do.

Thanks for reading
Jue
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Re: Bereavement, constant migraines had enough

Postby Iceskatemum » Thu May 02, 2013 5:24 pm

Oh jue jue I don't know what to say the last thing you need is more stress. :hugs: I guess just take one day at a time. From a positive view point you still have a job , even though you have been given notice , you don't say how long you have until you need to reinterview , but use that time to find out about what any new positions will be doing , look at the skills you have ( you may not think it at the moment but you will have plenty) and see what can transfer to the new roles .

Try and ease some of the tension in your life ,again difficult give how you are feeling but I have recently found that breathing exercises are very good in dampening down some of my fears and worries. I was a totaly cynic so am surprised at how well I have taken to them.

Sit in a comfortable position, in a quiet room if possible but if not just close you eyes and think or somewhere nice, may be a beach ,a sunny day in the garden , then with you back straight & keeping keep your shoulder down.
Breath in slowly through your nose on a count of 4 then slowly exhale through pursed lips (looks like you are going to play the flute)for double the count on your inhale . Do this for a few minutes , it clams your body down , lowers you heart rate and get oxygen right into the bottom of you lungs.
I find it very relaxing and I would sometimes do it lying in bed if I can't get to sleep at night, works a treat especially if I have some soothin essential oils in teh room as well.

good luck
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Re: Bereavement, constant migraines had enough

Postby HazelB » Thu May 02, 2013 7:45 pm

((((hugs)))) I lost my dad in January, suddenly and unexpectedly and I too have found that grief seems to have increased my pain levels and other symptoms. And having stress and worry over your job on top of it is the last thing you need xxxx

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(soft hugs)
Hazel xxx
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Re: Bereavement, constant migraines had enough

Postby millymoodoo » Fri May 03, 2013 8:59 am

juejue wrote:Thanks everyone for your support it really helps. The stress has increased dramatically in the last few days as redundancies have been announced, my job is under threat, there aren't enough jobs to go round and we have to re-interview. I don't think I can handle an interview at the moment and am so scared cos my sick record is rubbish because of the fibro and depression.

Don't know what to do.

Thanks for reading
Jue


Hi

This totally mirrors what happened to me!!!! But if you had fibro before you started to work for the company and told them about it then they cant take your sickness record into account for fibro. I have severe crohn's disease but when they were making redundancies i was off work following an accident breaking my arm and badly hurting my back and to top it was diagnosed with fibro. We were re interviewed and despite getting several awards for my work with the company i was made redundant because of my sickness record (not crohn') and my ability to do the job that i had done for 17 years but i couldnt prove it despite a solicitor looking at my case.

Milly :-D xxx :hugs:
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