SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSED :(

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SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSED :(

Postby kazisedso » Fri May 31, 2013 7:55 pm

Hi everyone, hope you are all having a good day :-)

I am not doing too bad at the moment ( touch wood! ) still very stiff in the mornings and i cannot walk very far at all without being in very bad pain in my hips,back and knees, but apart from that i feel ok.

I am however, slightly embarrassed as my husband and i had a talk today and decided that it is time to get occupational therapy involved with helping me and my husband with different aides for my care.
the reason for the embarrassment is i didnt realise that social services will have to come out and assess me to obviously see what will benefit both myself and my husband as he is my carer. I listened to him chat to the SS, OT, department, explaining my illnesses and the care that i need and i just felt so embarrassed and ashamed that i need all this care and i am only 43 :( .
I don't mind anybody coming out to assess me but i am really embarrassed that at my age i need all this care and help. :cry: :cry:
i am so trying to keep putting a brave face on everything, but as i said earlier in this post i do need help especially with walking, it gets extremely painful. i need help in and out of the shower/bath and with dressing and undressing.... i do lose my balance quite often and have stumbled and hurt myself without my hubbys care :(
We do need help now from OT so why do i constantly feel like i need to apologise for being this way..... maybe it's because i have not yet fully come to terms with the fact that i cannot do the things i used to do.... and involving OT and asking the gp to refer me for walking aides, means i am admitting defeat.
Anyone one else felt this way re-OT? or is it just me being overly sensitive and embarrassed that i do actually need the extra help?
Thanks.
Karen
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Re: SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSED :(

Postby fibro-lu » Fri May 31, 2013 8:15 pm

hi Karen,

you are not on your own there

3 points from me

- I personally think my brain has some sort of safety guard in place that keeps me sane (I am not talking about the fog, more like a shell shock kind of thing) only when I hear people tell others about me, or read reports about me, or being assessed with someone being with me does it hits me like a bucket load of .... all sorts, living on my own means also that I am less reminded on a daily basis than people who live with others

- as you I will not give in into defeat, I still have by bicycle in the hallway, haven't used it for well over 2 years the last time, but giving it away would mean another defeat, did let go of some other thing already this year, bike will find another new home soon

- I can count on less than a full hand the people who really know how bad bad is, one reason they wouldn't understand and another they wouldn't be able to cope
all the best :cow-wave: Lu
Mind over Matter: in mind I'm Wonderwoman - in matter, well, - don't mind, doesn't matter
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Re: SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSED :(

Postby Sandii5 » Fri May 31, 2013 8:19 pm

Hi Karen,
I'm also 43 and only had my diagnosis confirmed for definite last week and although my consultant had said to me in January FM is most likely what I have i'm still reeling from it and yes I think our age has something to do with that but there are so many people younger than us with it to we should probably count our blessings. As for OT although hard please don't feel embarrassed as they are there to help make your life as easy as possible for you to manage as well as helping your husband. Hope it goes ok for you. Sandra
xx
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Re: SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSED :(

Postby leewhyte » Fri May 31, 2013 8:33 pm

Dear Karen,

Please don't be embarrassed. If you need help ask for it, why make life harder for yourself.

I also have ot coming for an assessment on Monday after my wife pursued me to ask my gp for help.

P.s I'm 26 so I know where you are coming form
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Re: SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSED :(

Postby tigger2012 » Fri May 31, 2013 8:49 pm

Hi

I have fibro but also work with young disabled people giving them aids to help them communicate so I can understand how you may feel about asking for support from OT.

I can't say don't be embarrassed as it is a perfectly natural emotion to feel when asking for support and I would probably feel the same way but do be reassured that they will be supportive,and understanding,they should make you feel in control and give you the aids or techniques which will help you and your husband to continue to care for you. Far from being embarrassed you should feel empowered that their support will enable you live a happier,more comfortable and safer life at home with your husband.

Good luck and I hope they give you the support you both need xx
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Re: SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSED :(

Postby kazisedso » Fri May 31, 2013 8:57 pm

Awwww bless you all for replying... appreciate it :-D

leewhyte, i know what you're saying and totally agree with it too....... especially if we were talking about someone else but me,
Pride and stubbornness don't make for a very good mix. :pull-hair: .... and i am a Taurus lol so have it in abundance lolol :lol:

TBH i have been ill with depression and anxiety for a very long time and have required my husband's help and care for as long as i can remember :( so now adding to this the fact that my mobility is now greatly reduced and affected, i suppose i just feel sorry for myself and don't want to be any more of a burden than i already am.... but what can i do???
Bite the bullet and accept the help that i and my lovely husband need to help us function as 'normally' as possible, that's what, and posting on here and getting other's opinions and advice does help.... so thank you.

it's a long road ahead but i am sure we will get there in the end.
karen
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Re: SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSED :(

Postby babajane32 » Fri May 31, 2013 9:11 pm

Am 43 myself and had to take this step a couple of years ago......I felt degraded,humiliated and defeated.....despite the fact that they were brilliant and caring and helpful.....I'm still a little depressed after it as it brought home what we'd tried to ignore for too long.....BUT...the help and aids have made a huge difference and I'm gaining a tad more independance and a lot of pressure is off hubby .the future is brighter and I am getting to go places I thought were a thing of the past! Def a positive move ,but an I optional one too xx
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SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSED :(

Postby Wendy 28 » Fri May 31, 2013 9:13 pm

Totally agree with all of your comments there. I'm 39 and was diagnosed in my early 30's. still work full time as needs must even though its a killer. Although on the outside I look perfectly healthy, I'm in constant pain and feel dreadful on most occasions. There are many things I can't do any more but appreciate the help from my friends and family. The way I look at things is that life is what you make it. These things are sent to try us and its how we handle things that's the point and not what's holding us back. I make sure FM doesn't win, it will not destroy me and all the help I receive is most welcome. Smile and carry on. Life is far too short so enjoy everything you possibly can. xxxx
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Re: SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSED :(

Postby leewhyte » Fri May 31, 2013 9:17 pm

Dear Karen and everybody else,

I to suffer from depression but I wonder how many FM suffers do and how much of it is caused by other peoples reactions and there judgement ( sorry hope that makes sense, the fog has set in )
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Re: SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSED :(

Postby Beccie42 » Fri May 31, 2013 9:30 pm

Hi Karen

I'm unfortunate enough to have Fibro and a type of Arthritis at the age of 30. Thankfully I am still able to work as I work for Adult Social Care working closely with OT's arranging adaptations in peoples homes. We regularly work with younger people and your OT will not think anything of it. It is very difficult for anyone, no matter what their age, to come to terms with needing help and then again to accept it. It may take some time, but please don't dismiss anything that the OT recommends as I know from working where I do, so many people dont realise the difference something will make. Please don't feel embarrassed. You have no reason to. It is something people in this line of work see everyday unfortunately.
I hope you get the help you need. Take care in the meantime.
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Re: SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSED :(

Postby daddyvic » Fri May 31, 2013 10:41 pm

Hi, I get very embarrased about the help I need. At 37 I feel that I should be able to do more. I do work full time but my collegues do a lot to support me. As others have said from the outside I look fine (apart from the stick I need to move). But inside the pain and fatigue is ripping me apart. I had to ask for help and it tears me apart because I feel people judge me. But the support I have recieved out weighs this. Sorry ramble over.
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Re: SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSED :(

Postby millymoodoo » Sat Jun 01, 2013 8:39 am

Hi

I am 49 and was devastated when the OThad to become involved but it is the best thing to have happened!!! It has made things a lot easier both for myself and my carers. The first thing to be sorted was a wet room which included grab handles in the bathroom and around the toilet and a stool for in the shower which is a godsend. I struggle to sit up in a morning but it takes ages as i am very stiff so they have given me an electric pillow raiser which is such a help. Grab handles have been placed in various places in my bungalow and dont look out of place, i have a perch stool for the kitchen as i cant stand for long and a 2 tray trolley with wheels as i was forever dropping things due to weakess in my hands/wrists. The OT that came out to see me was lovely and not once did i feel embarrassed and she bent over backwards to help me i am so pleased that i was referred now as all these items really do make a difference to my independance so please dont worry about it at all.

:goodluck2: Milly :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss:
Never look down on anyone unless you are helping them get up!!! When life hands you lemons, make lemonade!!! Everyday is a gift which is why we call it the present
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Re: SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSED :(

Postby Tunes » Sat Jun 01, 2013 9:08 am

Hi. My heart goes out to every sufferer in this position ive had fibro for 5 years and cope as best i can with the symptoms. I feel embarrassed to say i havent got to this point yet :oops: . But i know i will in the not too distant future and am dreading it :cry: .it helps to find out from you all the dos and donts tho. I find alot of things difficult and still work partime as a cleaner(not the best job i know)!!! And find daily life hard work.
Im living in denial that that day will never come :crazy:
So glad i found this site tho. Helps so much. X
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Re: SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSED :(

Postby jumpingjax » Sat Jun 01, 2013 1:26 pm

Hi All,

I too am a relative newcomer to the group and am still working out what I can and can't do without yelping because it hurts, and whilst I am not in the position where I need too much help, it is really good to know what is available to us when we do need it. My husband helps me a lot and has already suggested fitting grab rails so that I can get in and out of the shower more easily. I too am really glad I joined this forum, good luck and best wishes to you and all you other FM sufferers.
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Re: SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSED :(

Postby masonsbarms » Sat Jun 01, 2013 5:57 pm

hi, karen i havent read all the replys as im not very with it so dont know what others have said,

i just want to say we all know how you feel and understand but please dont be embarrased as we all need some help with things and your hubby knows if you could you would

when i first started useing my stick i used to cry if i saw someone and they laghed and said what you been up to but now i laugh and just say funny legs and thats it ,

as for getting in and out of bath ect we have had some laughs at this also hubby trying to put stockings and tights on for me without plicking them or putting his fingers through,

oh and fastening bra strapps god he can unfasten it quicker but i supose hes had practice with that,

try and keep a scence of humer about things and think how lucky we are that hane partners willing to do ift for us many walk away,

i have found that we have come closer together over the last 12 months and for that i thank god.

take all help on offer to help you and hubby some things may give you back some independence and help hubby to.

take care xx
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