no one understands

All your fibromyalgia experiences, questions and answers.

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no one understands

Postby angela m » Sat Jun 08, 2013 7:12 pm

Well for a while no one but my husband new what i am going threw.

Today i could not believe it when my husband asked me to start digging the garden and fill the sacks while he went out when i said i couldnt he stropped.

So unfortunate the one person i had on my side i feel i dont. If he understood he wouldnt of been so insensitive.

At least i had here to cry to x
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Re: no one understands

Postby kazisedso » Sat Jun 08, 2013 8:51 pm

Hi Angela,
Believe me when I say I know exactly what you mean
My husband and the three children I have living at home, know all about how I'll I am
But, I think they do ' forget' that I cannot do no where near what I used to do.
My husband is my carer, and if I do break down he is always there for me.... But I shouldn't have to break down to be listened to.
Unless they were to suffer as we do, they can sympathise and try to help, but, they just don't get it.
I know my husband gets frustrated that I can't help like I used to, and I do get so angry and down that I will just get up and do things in anger and frustration... But as we all know, this just leads to spending the next two to three days paying for it, and it's all back to square one again.
Thing is you get so down and depressed because the ones closest to you just don't get it.

Hopefully Hun... It will all work out ok.... It takes time for us all to get used to this long term condition.
And with time hopefully understanding. X
Karen
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Re: no one understands

Postby kazza65 » Sat Jun 08, 2013 9:38 pm

Look Us women can't have ailments because we have to carry on now matter what is wrong with us we could be dieing and we would still be expect to do EVERYTHING !

When a man has a sniffle he has to have three weeks off work and have to be waited on hand and foot and his world feels like he dieing......

But us we have to carry on ....

Let him strop and you know your limitions so stick to them....

Love Karen x
Live life to the full as you don't know when it will end xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Re: no one understands

Postby Otter65 » Sat Jun 08, 2013 9:56 pm

Yeah not sure what it is will men and not really getting what this condition is really like they wouldn't last 5 minutes :roll: :crazy:

But you have to find out what works for you and stick to it

Last night the twins wanted to see .a band and wanted picking up after Midnight :yikes: :yikes: they tend to forget that by 9pm I'm so tired I'm not safe to drive so I made them make other arrangements :crazy:

We all need these forums to vent


Xx
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Re: no one understands

Postby relf1960 » Sat Jun 08, 2013 10:24 pm

my stroppy 18 yr old daughter is the only 1 i live with n she hasnt any emphathy with me. she says DONT USE THE F WORD meaning fibromyalgia. her most hated word in the world is FATIGUE. she dont see how her attitude makes me feelso much worse. my son whose 28 understands my stress n anxiety the most cus he has probs with it himself. my sister suffers pain so understands that part of me. wouldnt it be great if those closest to us understood it all, and could help us explain it to others. my best advise is get them to read as many medical pages on it and read groups n forums. reading about strangers probs willmake it easier to understand yours.oh, n my ex hubby is understanding too. so for me, i have more look with men than women believing me. good luck.x
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Re: no one understands

Postby painprincess1 » Sun Jun 09, 2013 7:02 pm

aww hunnie we all been there . my other half tends to think its something that can be overcome if u pretend its not there, in saying that he does suffers very badly himself and works very very hard .so id have to say not all man cry like a baby when there sick xxxx
smiles and the world smiles with you. cry and you cry alone.
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Re: no one understands

Postby angela m » Mon Jun 10, 2013 11:05 pm

Thanks for your replies.

I dont think i have ever felt so angry and up set at him. I have been feeling dumped and not understood by the professionals my doc stopped my meds and my physio this week says there are cut backs on the hydro pool so are no longer seeing me. So i have felt the one person that knew how i was feeling and my pains didnt know really to ask me to dig the garden.

reading your replies reminds me i am not the only one feeling this way so thankyou for taking the time to reply to my post
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Re: no one understands

Postby blueeyes64 » Tue Jun 11, 2013 8:36 am

:hugs:
I think we have all felt like this.My hubby has stiff joints and painful ankles and knees, but he hasn't mentioned it to a Dr, typical man ! So when I moan about being in pain etc he just says " oh well of course you will be much worse than me" so I rarely get any sympathy !
It's one o those invisible illnesses for lack of a better term and it is often hard to get anyone to understand unless they too have it.My younger son has hyper mobilty and at 13 is often like a little old man complaining about his joints bless him, and that's another infliction that you cants see but causes a lot of pain.Hope things improve Hun X
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Re: no one understands

Postby relf1960 » Mon Sep 30, 2013 9:06 pm

I'm not a cryer, I'm stubborn. But when things have really been that bad I've not been able to stop the tears, whilst in an argument or conversation about my health, I find ppl will sit n listen. Cus I'm not mardy, they tend to realise I can't take any more lack of understanding n lack of help, cuddles etc. ppl now take me more seriously n that in itself makes me feel a bit better. Keep telling these ppl things uve read about fm or another sufferer. Make them realise others av the same probs as u, n then they'll start to realise u r ill, it does hurt, etc. it's quite a long process for some ppl to get it in there heads that this stupid illness is real, but go on at em till they believe u. Not just in an angry voice whilst shouting at each other. In general conversation on a daily basis. If they care they will listen. If they don't care, sod em. I know what I'd do.
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