Employment and Fibromyalgia - Betty and Amy

All your fibromyalgia experiences, questions and answers.

Moderators: perseus, *Lisa*, FluppyPuffy

Employment and Fibromyalgia - Betty and Amy

Postby PolkaBunny » Tue Jun 18, 2013 12:38 pm

I don't really know how to start this to be entirely honest, but I guess the point of this post is that I have been seeing alot of debates recently, between those who work and those who don't. And sometimes I think people get hurt in the crossfire, i,e person 1 will say "I have to work, I have no choice" person 2 will say "well I would love to work, but i cant" feeling that person 1 is insinuating that they chose not to work, and gave up too early.


I see it all the time on the social networking pages, so I tried to come up with a blog post for this topic, and I would love it if you guys would check it and out and let me know your opinions.

Thanks guys x

http://thefibroeffect.blogspot.co.uk/20 ... d-amy.html
PolkaBunny
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 47
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2012 12:02 am

Re: Employment and Fibromyalgia - Betty and Amy

Postby scoke » Tue Jun 18, 2013 1:07 pm

Well said!
scoke
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 144
Joined: Mon Jun 06, 2011 10:07 pm

Re: Employment and Fibromyalgia - Betty and Amy

Postby san229 » Tue Jun 18, 2013 2:05 pm

Yes well said!! I would dearly love to go back to my work/career, I was working my way up in a Bank had reached management and could have went further. But how can I go back to that when some days the pain renders me unable to move about, the fog means I forget thing and don't know my left from my right. The fatigue means I do things like fall asleep while talking on the phone or in the middle of dinner. I couldn't cope with my job and if I changed to a more stress free job what employer in their right mind would employ me?? :nono:

I have been fortunate enough to be able to take a Career Break for five years to try and get to grips with my Fibro/CFS but at the moment its not looking to good :cry:

Gentle Hugs
S xx
san229
UKFM Newbie
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Mon Feb 13, 2012 2:55 pm

Re: Employment and Fibromyalgia - Betty and Amy

Postby Lynsey D » Tue Jun 18, 2013 2:11 pm

I wonder if some angst is caused because a sufferer that works through their pain feels that the non working sufferer disputes their pain and the non working sufferer feels that they are being also unheard as those of that can't work really would love to.

I feel like I wake up every morning with someone elses body and have other conditions that enhance the pain of an already bad day.

We all must remember that we all cope differently, have different symptoms, different abilities, different
We already face a lack of understanding across the board and as fellow sufferers we should at least support each other. Together we can gain the strength to combat any of the adversities we are presented with both externally and intertnally

Love and light xx :-D
Lynsey D
UKFM Newbie
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Jun 18, 2013 6:53 am

Re: Employment and Fibromyalgia - Betty and Amy

Postby PolkaBunny » Tue Jun 18, 2013 2:46 pm

Lynsey D wrote:I wonder if some angst is caused because a sufferer that works through their pain feels that the non working sufferer disputes their pain and the non working sufferer feels that they are being also unheard as those of that can't work really would love to.

I feel like I wake up every morning with someone elses body and have other conditions that enhance the pain of an already bad day.

We all must remember that we all cope differently, have different symptoms, different abilities, different
We already face a lack of understanding across the board and as fellow sufferers we should at least support each other. Together we can gain the strength to combat any of the adversities we are presented with both externally and intertnally

Love and light xx :-D


Yeh thats the essentially the whole idea behind the post, people who have health problems often end up without meaning to, arguing amongst themselves because of their own situations and I do think its different for everyone, and so many factors are influenced in it and it doesnt mean person 1 is more sick than person 2, and vice versa.

My story, is that I broke my ankle in 2010, and had it re operated on for a second time in 2011. This was year 2, and year 3 of uni. Working myself into the ground to complete my degree through the pain was EXTREMELY difficult, although I didnt know it was fibro at the time. Fatigue, brain fog, not what you need in your dissertation. But, then when I finished uni, nobody would employ me. I looked tired all the time, and my interviews went to pieces because I was in agony.

Now, I work from home. I make jewellery and, its not the big dream I had planned for myself when I was at uni. But I cant do anything else, I cant go out to work because some days (many days) I am too tired and in pain to leave the house. But I think the whole "i cant work, i would if i could" vs "Well I have to, i have no choice" debate can be very upsetting for many sufferers of FM, so I wanted to help ...i dont know, put a different spin on it maybe .
PolkaBunny
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 47
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2012 12:02 am

Re: Employment and Fibromyalgia - Betty and Amy

Postby whoami » Tue Jun 18, 2013 7:06 pm

I read your article and really enjoyed what you said.

I have always said when talking about people with fibro that nobody has it any worse than someone else.
We have a condition, fibromyalgia, we have it no more or less than the person beside us.

We can't possibly judge someone else's pain, that is theirs alone. It is personal.

Our ability to cope with the symptoms does not make us weaker or stronger.

Patient one could say their pain level is a 3 out of ten but are on the strongest pain medication and can't tollerate going to work, garden or be socially active.
Patient two could say their level is a 9 but on the weakest pain medication, works, is active in sports and very sociable.

These people have one thing in common Fibromyalgia. There is no chart saying when you reach this level of pain, take this certain medication then you can not work. How ridiculous

I do not work, I have not for 23 years. I am on one of the strongest medications out there. Do I have it worse than anyone elso...NO!

I do get angry when I hear someone say....I have the worst case of fibromyalgia or someone else says they have a mild case. We all have Fibromyalgia, how we cope, meds we take, treatments are all different.

Thinking we can judge anyone else's fibro is so wrong. Thanks for letting me vent. It is obviously a sore spot.
[i][b]

Expect the worst in life you won't be disapointed and you'll be prepared!
whoami
UKFM Regular
 
Posts: 1537
Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2013 9:22 pm
Location: Ontario, Canada

Re: Employment and Fibromyalgia - Betty and Amy

Postby PolkaBunny » Tue Jun 18, 2013 10:40 pm

No not at all, Im glad you said what you said as its my opinion entirely. We all have it, and who is to say who has it worse than someone else. So many factors influence Fibromyalgia, and there so many symptoms its impossible to say. Im glad you are all receiving it as it was intended, I was so worried that people might take offence to it in some way , I dont know why though!

Thank you everyone :)
PolkaBunny
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 47
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2012 12:02 am

Re: Employment and Fibromyalgia - Betty and Amy

Postby FluppyPuffy » Tue Jun 18, 2013 11:57 pm

I've found it to be the same on other sites across the t'interweb as well, which is why I tend to avoid such places. Plus I'm not quite sure they'd know what to make of me with consulting Dr Googly and his Mega Encyclopaedia of Pills and Potions and other such foibles :crazy: :crazy: :crazy: :crazy:

On these other sites, it seems as if there are competitions running for who is on the most number or strongest dosage of meds or who has the most hurty bits and highest levels of it :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: We can't really say our levels for each symptom are more or less severe than someone else's because they can't be measured and quantified to a set of parameters for each level on a scale.

Fortunately, on here there hasn't been/doesn't seem to be an awful lot of these kinds of comments. I think it comes from the general vibe across the boards, the people that find their way here and join our FibroFamily, and the general regard there is for what others post.

I know how I feel when things are being turned up, which I hope means I am able to understand a little of how someone else feels when they say their levels are at the same sort of levels, but I don't read things and think that I'm affected much more or much less severely than others. I try to look at it simply from how I have felt in a similar situation because that is the only way I can.

FM seems to work on just one rule when it affects us, and that is that it's going to do whatever it can to try and screw us up and dump us on our heads. After that there are no definitive and trackable ways that it will follow, it will just try and floor us in any way it possibly can.
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.

If your dog doesn't like someone, then you probably shouldn't either
User avatar
FluppyPuffy
SITE ADMIN
 
Posts: 12719
Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2009 11:25 am
Location: Living Life On The Edge.......Of The Norty Step!!!

Re: Employment and Fibromyalgia - Betty and Amy

Postby denys » Wed Jun 19, 2013 2:23 am

Well said, totally agree, the first thing we generally say when advising anyone is, 'Fibro affects us all differently' pain does not have a general value its individual to each of us. What works for one will not necessarily work for another, I think we have enough to cope with without getting upset with each other :-D :-D :-D :-D
Denys

As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.
User avatar
denys
UKFM Veteran
 
Posts: 11901
Joined: Tue Feb 09, 2010 10:05 pm

Re: Employment and Fibromyalgia - Betty and Amy

Postby debbiealison » Wed Jun 19, 2013 9:51 am

I have had fibro for more than 15 years, also had a bad car accident in 2005 and have really stuggled with work, in 2011 I had 4 months off, and when I went back my employer took me back for 12hrs a week over 4 days as we worked together to see what i could manage. I have been off again since mid Feb and and am in so much more pain than I have ever been, I know that I am not going to be able to go back but can not face what will become of me, I can not bring myself to tell my employer how I am and my gp's not much help, he just says that I really need to keep working, as if its not what I want!
Any one have any advice? am on esa but runs out soon.
Thanks
debbiealison
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 18
Joined: Mon Jun 04, 2012 9:46 pm

Re: Employment and Fibromyalgia - Betty and Amy

Postby LouLou » Wed Jun 19, 2013 12:17 pm

Very well said Polka Bunny

Like you said it's one of those things that can cause many many debates, but personally I put FM down to being different for every one of us. We may feel the same symptoms/same fatigue but in one person the intensity could be a lot worse than in someone else.

I consider my FM to be fairly mild compared to others on here. I still work 30 hours a week but that is because I can actually achieve those hours most weeks. I still have bad days and still have odd day off etc but I wouldn't dream of making someone else feel bad because their FM is so bad they can't work. I count myself quite lucky that most days even though I am in a lot of pain, the actual intensity is such that I can still function relatively normally.

I wouldn't say that someone who doesn't work has given in to FM, it all depends on how bad their symptoms are plus all the other many illnesses a lot of us have as well as FM. I work because I still can and I am grateful for that fact as I know someday I may wake up and not be able to work again.

I don't class myself as a fighter and someone else as giving in, we all have our own journey with FM and must all do what we can to have a decent quality of life.

I love how you put things in your blog about this polka and I hope no one does feel bad about whatever position they are in regarding work. We each have to decide what is best for us and I have nothing against anyone who cannot work because of this awful illness. I mean on my bad days I can't get out of bed at all but this only usually lasts a day or so, others may not be so lucky.
What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger ;-)
User avatar
LouLou
UKFM Regular
 
Posts: 1009
Joined: Thu Oct 06, 2011 10:40 am

Re: Employment and Fibromyalgia - Betty and Amy

Postby PolkaBunny » Wed Jun 19, 2013 12:38 pm

Thank you, I am loving doing it and trying to write about different issues in a refreshing way :-)
PolkaBunny
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 47
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2012 12:02 am


Return to Living with Fibromyalgia

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google Adsense [Bot] and 8 guests