The Spoon Theory

All your fibromyalgia experiences, questions and answers.

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Re: The Spoon Theory

Postby mizk » Sun Aug 19, 2012 10:31 pm

I love the spoon theory it helped my boyfriend and my mum understand a bit more.
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The Spoon Theory

Postby kathmoore1 » Mon Aug 20, 2012 9:59 am

What is the spoon theory plse?
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Re: The Spoon Theory

Postby denys » Mon Aug 20, 2012 12:33 pm

If you go to the very first post in this topic (pg1) and click on the underlined blue HERE then it will take you to a story, basically the spoon theory is ...

We get given a certain amount of energy each day and this is converted to spoons, all spoons disappear at the end of the day so cannot be saved for the next day,

so every task uses so many spoons (just living uses some) so say you are given 10 spoons and it takes 4 just to exist you then have 6 left to use as you wish, washing your hair may take 1 then a friend asks you out for a night on the town which is going to use 5 you have no more spoons left, you have jobs that need doing but you have no spoons left so you cant do them.

If you hadnt gone out with your friend for such a hectic night you may have been able to do some of the jobs and still have a few spoons to enable you to go for a quiet drink, hope this makes sense!!! What its trying to convey is that we have to think hard about everything we do and the impact it has on us and our ability to do what we need to do but also to have a social life and tries to explain to others why we may say no to well intentioned invitations
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Re: The Spoon Theory

Postby sharie » Tue Aug 28, 2012 1:05 pm

I read it, took me a while to understand how it was going to go and then I realised its a very good way of explaining how illness affects us
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Re: The Spoon Theory

Postby Andrew 64 » Wed Sep 12, 2012 8:20 pm

My sister had Lupus it killed her 08/07/12, the pain has started ease oly a little, so i guess im the lucky bone to have FM.
Today I shall mostly be eating potatoes
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Re: The Spoon Theory

Postby shoesandbags » Tue Oct 23, 2012 1:11 pm

Just read the spoon theory, that's it exactly. Was blown away. X
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Re: The Spoon Theory

Postby Pinkprincess205 » Fri Jan 11, 2013 9:29 pm

hi
i have had fibro for about 3 years, only got diagnosed just over a year ago, im still coming to terms with it and finding it had to change myself, and have only just read the spoon theory, it is a great way to explain things, i have a new bf and find it hard explaining to him how this effects me, im going to get him to read it and maybe he will understand a bit more, as when i have reached the end of my spoons and say to him i cant do anymore he still thinks i can do this and that and wonders why i cant. so hopefully reading this will help him a bit more, think i will put it on my fb status and get people to understand it a bit more.
vic x
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Re: The Spoon Theory

Postby Betfred101 » Sun Apr 21, 2013 1:36 am

Thankyou for posting that. Been trying to get even my partner to understand and this puts it nicely.
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Re:

Postby armfaw » Wed Jul 24, 2013 10:10 am

Julie C wrote:I am glad a lot of you think this is a good way of describing your FM to friends and family, but I beg to differ (sorry! :oops: )

I don't want to burden my friends and family with my day to day struggle with FM, I'd rather put on a brave face and get on with things.

If I wake in the morning and feel so achey and stiff I can hardly move, I don't - I stay there!

If I have to cancel a shopping trip because my legs just can't cope with a hike around the shops, I just say I will have to cancel because I'm having a bad day.

If I am so tired and achey I can't manage to cook the evening meal for my family, I don't, I order a takeaway!

I have become frustrated with the medical profession regarding this illness, I keep taking the pills my rheumatologist prescribed me, but I can't say they help.

It is frustrating when people say I look so well, so what's up with me? I just tell them that I ache all over, all day, every day, and I don't have much energy, oh, I also find it difficult to concentrate at times (which is embarrassing when holding a conversation sometimes!), most of them are sympathetic (for a moment, then they go onto something else!). It used to bother me that they didn't want to know the ins and outs of this condition, but now I feel that as they can't do anything about it, why burden them with it?

This illness/condition can make you feel very isolated at times, even in a room full of people I often feel alone, but it is up to me to deal with this.

I don't see how telling my friends and family how I really feel most of the time will achieve anything, in fact it would make me feel worse because I would feel guilty about making them feel they weren't able to take my pain away and that would be a very negative feeling.

Life can be very miserable with FM, if you let it, but as my rheumatologist told me at my last appointment, "take your medication, stay positive, don't let it take over your life and get on with things!". I was stunned and taken aback by his comments at first, I thought he was being very unfeeling towards me and I left the hospital feeling really depressed, but actually I think it was the best advice he could have given me. There is no known cure for FM, only drugs to ease the symptons, so now I am trying to stay positive, not letting it take over my life, and I'm getting on with things! Some days are better than others, but when I look around me and see that there are always people worse off than me, I don't feel so bad about it.

Oh well, time for bed, I wonder how long it will take me to get comfortable? How many times will I wake throughout the night? My 25mgs of Amitriptyline is supposed to help, but doesn't! When did I last wake in the morning feeling refreshed? (Joke of the week!!) How bad will my aches and pains be tomorrow? Will I even remember what I did today? What caused this FM? Why me? Why not me?!!

Goodnight all :?



thankyou for posting this.. :-) I have just this week been diagnosed, and am feeling rubbish and sorry for myself :cry: but reading this has made me feel a little bit better..
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Re: The Spoon Theory

Postby superee » Fri Nov 15, 2013 3:58 pm

I beg to differ with the post by Julie C and think the spoon theory or using the battery version is a good way of explaining to people. People that don't really care, won't ask being honest. However, people that really do care will say that explaining what my life is like is NOT a burden to them, just an understanding. I gave a shortened version of the spoon theory to my partner and asked, does that make it more understandable about how FM affects me a bit more. He thought it was a good way of explaining because saying the symptoms etc doesn't explain how it affect s me. I also don't want sympathy but I need understanding. I do rely on my partner for so much help and support and feel that he is the only one that I am a burden to. I get into trouble for this.
I also have 2 members of family that I rely on to talk to and to help and support me and they would actually have been more offended if I didn't explain to them or rely on them for that support when I am down or just need them. One of them is seriously ill herself and the other has a child with hyper mobility syndrome. So they know it works both ways, I am here for them and they are there for me.
I also have other friends and family that are always there for me, whether to help or support me with the FM or with my mental health problems. Actually with anything. We agree that is what true friends do. They aren't there just when things are going well or they need or want something. True friends and family are there through good and bad.
If I was told by my doctor to basically just get on with it, I would be angry. It's the same as people saying that I just need a good kick up the bottom to get over my mental health issues, which include severe social anxiety and severe panic attacks/panic disorder. If only positive thinking would stop me worrying, take away all the pain or give me the energy I lack to do the things I wanted, then a cure for FM and mental health has been found! I don't feel sorry for myself (well I do at times), I want my life back and I am trying but I can't do it without people understanding. Hiding behind a brave face didn't work, it was just me denying I was ill.
This is just my opinion.
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Re: The Spoon Theory

Postby denys » Sun Nov 17, 2013 6:43 pm

Julie C posted in 2008 and I dont think she comes on anymore but I agree with you I find the spoon theory helpful and informative especially to explain why I dont have much energy and have to 'save' it during the day for tasks that cannot be put off :-D :-D :-D
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Re: The Spoon Theory

Postby annyhern » Mon Dec 09, 2013 12:45 am

The spoon theory is fab, maybe I need to show to my boss at work, as even on a good day I am done in by 3 pm, but can't finish before 6.30. Ty xxxx


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Re: The Spoon Theory

Postby HeppiBean » Fri Dec 20, 2013 12:48 pm

This is brilliant, will definitely make use of the spoon theory. Thank you x

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Re: The Spoon Theory

Postby Kfastlove » Thu May 21, 2015 2:20 pm

Absolutely the best way I've ever come across to describe what's happened to me over the last 3/4 years.
For me, the pain is awful, But Ive always had a high pain threshold - which is good. The main problem I deal with is having to slow down.
Not do what I want to do.
Turn down requests to go out, socialise, meet with friends etc. Ive gone from "life & Soul" to "barely seen" & that's crushing for a People person.
:(
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Re: The Spoon Theory

Postby Sarah_89 » Wed May 27, 2015 5:09 pm

This is such an accurate explanation and made me cry a little. It describes exactly how I live my life day in day out :shock: this is a bit of a eureka moment for me actually to be honest!

At least now I have a way of understanding and explaining how I have to make decisions about what I can and can't do because of the many symptoms I have. 'Non-sufferers' take for granted just doing activities without having to think about it and whether doing that particular activity will impact negatively on your fibro.

Hmmm... it's certainly thought provoking...
I am a fibro fighter! :-)

Keep fighting guys and gals and stay strong! Gentle hugs

Sarah x
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