coming to terms with diognoses..

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coming to terms with diognoses..

Postby armfaw » Wed Aug 14, 2013 1:40 pm

I am really struggleing, I don't want this thing.. feel rubbish all the time. depressed, although I put on a brave face and tell everyone I am fine, I am trying to carry on is if everything is ok,, but I am now at braking point. but trying not to let it show, . might go see the dr, I don't even tell her how bad I am, if I do then I am accepting I have this illness... :cry:
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Re: coming to terms with diognoses..

Postby helenclaire » Wed Aug 14, 2013 2:27 pm

Hi, I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling. If it helps I went through the exact same thing. Some days I still hit rock bottom, but these are few and far between now.

My biggest problem was that I have always been a 'do-er' and have never asked for help. I was so proud that I just carried on as if everything was alright, and it just completely tired me out, to the point where I would just sit and cry. And then I realised that I am stuck with this so I need to make the most of what I have. I started to be honest with everyone, and with myself, (still going through this now) and more importantly I started asking for help. You can't do this on your own. If you don't have any close friends or family then try joining a support group maybe. Forums are good too, just be wary though because, sorry if anyone takes offence at this I don't mean it to be rude, but there are a lot of people who have given up and they will drag you down with them if you let them. Don't give up! Give in sometimes, but don't give up!

You are still you, just a slightly altered version of you. So you can't do everything you used to, but there are other things you can do, you might even find more interesting things. Eventually you'll learn to cope, learn to pace, learn to just be who you are and make the most of it.

It DOES get easier. Once you learn to accept the new you, you find ways to cope with and manage it.

I have Fibromyalgia and I think I am the happiest I have ever been. Good luck xx
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Re: coming to terms with diognoses..

Postby armfaw » Wed Aug 14, 2013 2:48 pm

helenclaire wrote:Hi, I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling. If it helps I went through the exact same thing. Some days I still hit rock bottom, but these are few and far between now.

My biggest problem was that I have always been a 'do-er' and have never asked for help. I was so proud that I just carried on as if everything was alright, and it just completely tired me out, to the point where I would just sit and cry. And then I realised that I am stuck with this so I need to make the most of what I have. I started to be honest with everyone, and with myself, (still going through this now) and more importantly I started asking for help. You can't do this on your own. If you don't have any close friends or family then try joining a support group maybe. Forums are good too, just be wary though because, sorry if anyone takes offence at this I don't mean it to be rude, but there are a lot of people who have given up and they will drag you down with them if you let them. Don't give up! Give in sometimes, but don't give up!

You are still you, just a slightly altered version of you. So you can't do everything you used to, but there are other things you can do, you might even find more interesting things. Eventually you'll learn to cope, learn to pace, learn to just be who you are and make the most of it.
It DOES get easier. Once you learn to accept the new you, you find ways to cope with and manage it.

I have Fibromyalgia and I think I am the happiest I have ever been. Good luck xx


thankyou... :-)
I have cut my hours at work from 30 to 15.. but still struggling, I cant give up work, we just brought our house and have a mortgage, I cant expect my partner to pay for every thing...I have a pony that needs daily meds for cushings .. a cat needs daily meds for hyperthyroid. I just feel so worn out from doing it all... my boyfriend is great, but he dosent understand. cant talk to anyone as they don't understand... I just feel so angry all the time, we are getting married next yr and I don't want to be in pain on the day... we are going of to get married on our own , no family or friends as I hate his mother... shes caused a lot of trouble and stress.... we will tell her after were married, we have told her we are getting married, she is so excited... (shame..) :twisted:
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Re: coming to terms with diognoses..

Postby mrslucy » Wed Aug 14, 2013 3:38 pm

Hi armfaw...I am so sorry to hear you are struggling with your fibro. Like helenclaire, I too was very much a doer, so had to come to terms with not being able to do anywhere near as much as I used to be able to do. Unfortunately I also have reflex sympathetic dystrophy which adds to my disability. Instead of thinking negatively try to think positively ~ is this going to beat you or are you going to 'beat' it? Accepting that you have something that now has made a change to your life is quite a biggy, but all it means is that your life is taking a new direction but that you are going to do your damndest to make the best of each day. Of course you can't do it on your own, but asking for support is ok :) Could you rope in /partnerfriends on a rota to help with the animals? I pace myself doing household chores, I do a little & stop (I suffer from the intense sweating) My husband is very good & I know I am lucky, he takes over when I have bad days. We live a lot on baked beans eggs & toast (easy to prepare) and when I feel good we have lovely meals! Take one day at a time, only do what you feel able to that day. Can you work flexi hours?
My email is (please PM member for details so please email me if you want more support even if its to have a good moan. I have a really good friend who has rheumatoid arthritis so we often get together to moan and sometimes have a good cry! ( really does help) I would like to tell you something re your wedding but not on here.
Like helenclaire it does get easier, just accept the different new you, inside you are still the same who has a partner that obviously loves you if you are to be married next year, he is marrying you fibro & all. Take care :-)
Last edited by *Lisa* on Wed Aug 14, 2013 3:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: removal of personal email address
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Re: coming to terms with diognoses..

Postby *Lisa* » Wed Aug 14, 2013 3:44 pm

Hi Mrslucy

Just to inform you that i have had to remove your email address for security reasons. This is a public forum and therefore to protect members we advise you to PM any members with your personal email addresses. :cow-wave:
As a Public Moderator & Admin of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia...Lisa
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Re: coming to terms with diognoses..

Postby armfaw » Wed Aug 14, 2013 7:16 pm

mrslucy wrote:Hi armfaw...I am so sorry to hear you are struggling with your fibro. Like helenclaire, I too was very much a doer, so had to come to terms with not being able to do anywhere near as much as I used to be able to do. Unfortunately I also have reflex sympathetic dystrophy which adds to my disability. Instead of thinking negatively try to think positively ~ is this going to beat you or are you going to 'beat' it? Accepting that you have something that now has made a change to your life is quite a biggy, but all it means is that your life is taking a new direction but that you are going to do your damndest to make the best of each day. Of course you can't do it on your own, but asking for support is ok :) Could you rope in /partnerfriends on a rota to help with the animals? I pace myself doing household chores, I do a little & stop (I suffer from the intense sweating) My husband is very good & I know I am lucky, he takes over when I have bad days. We live a lot on baked beans eggs & toast (easy to prepare) and when I feel good we have lovely meals! Take one day at a time, only do what you feel able to that day. Can you work flexi hours?
My email is (please PM member for details so please email me if you want more support even if its to have a good moan. I have a really good friend who has rheumatoid arthritis so we often get together to moan and sometimes have a good cry! ( really does help) I would like to tell you something re your wedding but not on here.
Like helenclaire it does get easier, just accept the different new you, inside you are still the same who has a partner that obviously loves you if you are to be married next year, he is marrying you fibro & all. Take care :-)

thankyou I will pm you..
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Re: coming to terms with diognoses..

Postby denys » Wed Aug 14, 2013 7:51 pm

Hope you are feeling a little brighter, this is a place most of visit time and time again but you can get through it, we are here to help you through this and understand completely where you are coming from :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Denys

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Re: coming to terms with diognoses..

Postby armfaw » Wed Aug 14, 2013 8:46 pm

denys wrote:Hope you are feeling a little brighter, this is a place most of visit time and time again but you can get through it, we are here to help you through this and understand completely where you are coming from :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

thankyou feeling a little better :-)
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Re: coming to terms with diognoses..

Postby migrembe » Thu Aug 15, 2013 7:48 pm

My thoughts are these; if you give up work it's impossible to start again, if you give up exercise then you will never start again. Not because you don't want too but because you are in a constant battle with your body. As for mortgages and ponies although it's hard there are more important things in life, like the husband to be. If you can't share how you feel with him or if you do and he walks away he wasn't the right one in the first place. This is for life, you don't get over it, you get on with it, meds help, physio made it worse (for me), but counselling helped me to come to terms with my new life.

I was a doer too and not a complainer, the biggest mistake of my life.

As for myself I've been thinking of having retractable thorns fitted! When the pain gets worse the thorn come out and retract as it subsides.What do you think? :lol:
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Re: coming to terms with diognoses..

Postby lolo73 » Thu Aug 15, 2013 9:58 pm

I really get where you are coming from. I got my diagnosis late last year / early this year. After 15yrs of pain I was glad I had a reason why. Now I am really struggling, I am getting worse rather than better and I have no idea why. I have upped my anti-depressant without my GP's consent, although I know he will be fine about it but now I need to face the music and tell him that I am getting down and that is something new for me. I think the way forward is learning to prioritise and cut back on stuff you really don't need to do, for me that is my volunteering work and I am getting really sad about it. :( I hope you can get some comfort from knowing you are not alone and you can always come on hear and sound off x
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Re: coming to terms with diognoses..

Postby LuluAnne » Thu Aug 15, 2013 11:57 pm

You are not alone, I was like you all a do-er and it is hard to not be that person anymore. I have tried on many occasions to 'outsmart' the Fibro but sadly it always wins and I pay the price for overdoing it. I used to think that one day I would wake up and it would be gone and things would be back to the way they were. I have resigned myself that this is now my reality and am still learning to set boundaries for myself and what I can and can't do.
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Re: coming to terms with diognoses..

Postby armfaw » Fri Aug 16, 2013 2:31 am

migrembe wrote:My thoughts are these; if you give up work it's impossible to start again, if you give up exercise then you will never start again. Not because you don't want too but because you are in a constant battle with your body. As for mortgages and ponies although it's hard there are more important things in life, like the husband to be. If you can't share how you feel with him or if you do and he walks away he wasn't the right one in the first place. This is for life, you don't get over it, you get on with it, meds help, physio made it worse (for me), but counselling helped me to come to terms with my new life.

I was a doer too and not a complainer, the biggest mistake of my life.

As for myself I've been thinking of having retractable thorns fitted! When the pain gets worse the thorn come out and retract as it subsides.What do you think? :lol:


thankyou.. my partner is great, i showed him some stuff on fibro that i down loaded, he read it took it in, and wants to help me.... the pony i am not giving up on we have been through to much together, i nearly lost him last yr due to him being ill.... thorns idea is cool... i went for accupuncher today, wow was it painfull, i felt sick went very hot and sweaty then cold.. made she get them out quick.. don't want that again...
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Re: coming to terms with diognoses..

Postby BonnGayle » Mon Aug 19, 2013 8:50 pm

I'm a Do 'er too and its one of the things I find troublesome in the whole pacing thing, Ive redesigned my living room to make a sewing and reading corner I used to cross stitch a lot but in the last few years I havnt found the time so now I'm making myself sit and do it hopefully it will keep me busy enough im not bored but not busy enough that it counts as rest.
Fibro,PCOS,Asthma,excema and Dyspraxia ( undiagnosed because it didnt exist then )
what does'nt kill us just makes us stronger!
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