People not understanding.

All your fibromyalgia experiences, questions and answers.

Moderators: perseus, *Lisa*, FluppyPuffy

People not understanding.

Postby beckstar127 » Sat Sep 07, 2013 9:02 pm

Evening everyone....
Does anyone else get people giving you attitude just because i forget stuff all the time.... constantly having to say sorry for something i cant help doing.

My anti depressiin tablets dont seem to be working....im on fluxatine.... so i tend to stay in mosy of the time unless im taking my sons to school.

It gets me so down people constantly having ago.... :sad::-?:-o

Gentle Hugs xx
beckstar127
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 65
Joined: Fri Feb 03, 2012 5:24 pm

Re: People not understanding.

Postby Iceskatemum » Sun Sep 08, 2013 3:16 am

This can be so difficult, I forget names , where I put things , ends of sentance , you name it if it can be forgotton or put in the wrong place I've done it. It tends to be worse when pain is worse or if under stress so the key is try to pace . A small word for a big subject

For me it means trying to listen to my body, if it tells me I'm tired I try and rest , this means no computer , no reading , tv etc if in pain I try and see what I can do to ease it either with the help of the meds from teh GP or some of the non med advice like put heat on the sore area, rub or massage the area yourself , have abath , use a tens machine . its hard to do in a busy household but vital if you are to try and balance your Fibro with everyday life.

There are others who are so much better at pacing I still get it wrong and have bad days /weeks so I hope they will give you some better advice just wanted to let you knwo others thinking of you .
Iceskatemum
UKFM Regular
 
Posts: 1599
Joined: Thu Jul 12, 2012 4:20 pm

Re: People not understanding.

Postby SuzyVB » Sun Sep 08, 2013 11:18 am

It's really horrid when people just don't get it. My family are generally not too bad but recently my hubbie has been really insensitive having a go because the house is cluttered so guess who has to clear it up. Yup that's me even though there are 4 other adults in the house who make the mess its usually down to me to clear it up
SuzyVB
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 174
Joined: Sat Jul 21, 2012 10:44 pm

Re: People not understanding.

Postby FluppyPuffy » Sun Sep 08, 2013 11:28 am

I've had encounters with similar types of people over the years, and used to get very upset at some of the things they said, implied and even did. Over time tho, my skin has become a little thicker, and now, when I run into such a person, I mostly picture myself :girl_moon: :girl_moon: :girl_moon: :girl_moon: :girl_moon: :girl_moon: :girl_moon: :girl_moon: at them , mainly because I can't actually physically do it these days. It usually make me start to :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: which can stop them in their pontificating tracks as they have no idea about what is going on with me :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: There are the odd ones who still manage to find a little gap and worm their way in tho, so it doesn't stop happening completely. When they do start, I think it says far more about the sort of person they are rather than showing up the things we deal with as being what they claim they are :tongueout: :tongueout: :tongueout: :tongueout: :tongueout: :tongueout: :tongueout: :tongueout: :tongueout:

WRT forgetting things, if my mind is working quick enough to do it, when I do forget something, I'll try and throw in the most random thought/word that I can. It's brilliant seeing the looks on peoples faces when I do it and it can help break what might be an uncomfortable moment down into something a but more :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

If you think your anti~ds aren't particularly effective, it could be that a change in dosage or even a change of med may be what you need. If you have only been on them for a short time tho, they could need a little longer to take effect before deciding if they are helping or not. Your GP should be able to give you more detailed advice specific to you so you can decide what might be the best way forward for you.
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.

If your dog doesn't like someone, then you probably shouldn't either
User avatar
FluppyPuffy
SITE ADMIN
 
Posts: 12719
Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2009 11:25 am
Location: Living Life On The Edge.......Of The Norty Step!!!

Re: People not understanding.

Postby Foz » Sun Sep 08, 2013 12:18 pm

when someone asks me to do something for them, usually research on computer, I say, yep lets do it now then.
they then say "oh whenever it doesn't matter" to which I reply "its now or i'll forget and you'll be annoyed"
I also hate owing my mates money if we stop for coffee unexpectedly, I almost always forget and that just upsets me, so I now ask "do I owe you anything or is it my turn to pay?"
my brain and emotions shouldn't have to be stressed just because I was doing something helpful or kind.
User avatar
Foz
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2013 6:42 pm
Location: Dorset

Re: People not understanding.

Postby beckstar127 » Sun Sep 08, 2013 3:44 pm

Foz wrote:when someone asks me to do something for them, usually research on computer, I say, yep lets do it now then.
they then say "oh whenever it doesn't matter" to which I reply "its now or i'll forget and you'll be annoyed"
I also hate owing my mates money if we stop for coffee unexpectedly, I almost always forget and that just upsets me, so I now ask "do I owe you anything or is it my turn to pay?"
my brain and emotions shouldn't have to be stressed just because I was doing something helpful or kind.


I know completely how you feel. I constantly feel like im letting people down because i dont remember things.

Gentle Hugs xx
beckstar127
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 65
Joined: Fri Feb 03, 2012 5:24 pm

Re: People not understanding.

Postby beckstar127 » Sun Sep 08, 2013 11:33 pm

Evening....i was just wondering if anyone else had cold patches and heat patches on there arms etc.

I have recently noticed this was concerned

Gentle Hugs xx
beckstar127
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 65
Joined: Fri Feb 03, 2012 5:24 pm

Re: People not understanding.

Postby SukiTills » Mon Sep 09, 2013 7:11 pm

I too am constantly forgetting things or oversleeping and letting people down. now i dont like making arrangements. hate the sarcastic comments i get and hate being a burden on people. Have few friends now as most have distanced themselves. So sympathise with all of you.

I too get wierd hot or cold patches at times - mostly on my back and legs. another weird symptom they can't explain.
SukiTills
UKFM Newbie
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Fri Jul 19, 2013 5:58 pm

Re: People not understanding.

Postby beckstar127 » Mon Sep 09, 2013 8:47 pm

I know the feeling hun...i get sick of being moaned at for forgetting things. I have been keepin myself away from people because i do forget things. Really upsets me.... i dont want to hide away but the constant complaining really gets to me.

Gentle Hugs xx
beckstar127
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 65
Joined: Fri Feb 03, 2012 5:24 pm

Re: People not understanding.

Postby SchroedingersCat » Tue Sep 10, 2013 10:37 am

I use alarms and reminders in my Smartphone, notes on the fridge, reminders in my work calendar and so on - so even on my worst days I rarely let anyone down. My OH is the only one who really is aware of me forgetting things (e.g. conversations we have had) and since he has a terrible memory without having FM, he's not likely to complain about it. Guess I'm lucky, I don't get people complaining at me at all.
SchroedingersCat
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 435
Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2012 8:11 pm


Return to Living with Fibromyalgia

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 11 guests

cron