Not coping

All your fibromyalgia experiences, questions and answers.

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Not coping

Postby Ashton » Thu Sep 19, 2013 7:47 am

IWork at school have been back to work for a week after the summer holidays and have already picked up a sickness bug.had to make the dreaded call to say I wouldn't be in.i love my job am worried my me ,fibro and thyroid are going to cost me my job.find it hard to live with the guilt of letting people feeling pretty useless at the worried work will get fed up with me .im not the same person I was a year ago and am struggling to accept it.any one else seem to spend there life feeling guilty for not being able to cope?
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Re: Not coping

Postby Foz » Thu Sep 19, 2013 8:01 am

yes all the time :cry:
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Re: Not coping

Postby Tunes » Thu Sep 19, 2013 8:15 am

Constantly. But its the constant forgetfulness of the people around you who dont remember your condition and jus think your either makein it up or your a hypercondriact!!!. Ssssooooooo annoying. I feel for you. X
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Re: Not coping

Postby Hellyn » Thu Sep 19, 2013 9:02 am

Guilt is not a healthy word. You can't help being as you are, well you can with diet etc...but the baseline is you live with a condition and that is that. You can't feel guilty for being ill that will just feed into your fibro and bring you down further. The first thing I learnt is that to live with fibro is it gives you the luxury of being selfish, to look after No.1 and indulge in down time doing what suits you best.

The world will still spin around with out you, you just need to change the mindset of being indispensable and release yourself from expectations that are now outdated for you in regards of the societies expectations of being a 'normal working' drone.

I always tell people that my hep c and fibro released me from following the crowd, using my days my way, doing what I want to do and how much I want to do and enjoying life as it is.

It's all in the mindset and it takes time but believe me it is worth looking laterally at what your able to do and make it work for you. It free's you and makes your condition much easier to manage buddy up too when you can accept that the 9-5 for us is too much of a challenge but! there are many other ways of making a living.

I met a fellow market trader the other day who runs a van with sewing and knitting supplies, I asked him if he was back next week, he told me he is diabetic and if he is having a bad day he won't be there, shrugging his shoulders and he was really happy....i do the same...bad day? take the day off and do something else that needs doing at home etc....guilt is an insidious little monster born out of societal tenet that your only worth anything if you have a proper job, a mortgage, debts....banish that word and live to what you can do for yourself, you deserve too.
many blessings. :cow-wave:
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Re: Not coping

Postby ru.campbell » Thu Sep 19, 2013 10:17 am

I don't feel guilty at all. I cope OK in the house and I think the level of stress my job exposed me to was a contributing factor to my FM. I told my boss that and said that I would have good days and bad days and we'd have to go with the flow.

I'm not the same person I was a year ago either--but I'd rather take a day off then worry myself sick about a job for an employer who would drop me in a second if their budget didn't allow for me.

Also think I have a pretty good legal case against them for sparking the FM in the first place!
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Re: Not coping

Postby GinaD » Thu Sep 19, 2013 11:59 am

I dont feel guilty no, but I do feel scared, I work for Tesco and they dont care how ill you are or how bad you feel, do the work or go is there rule! Im sorry you are struggling and sending caring vibes, hope they help if only a little xxxxxx
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Re: Not coping

Postby Ashton » Thu Sep 19, 2013 12:40 pm

Thank you
Wow you made me realise I am living my life feeling guilty for things I can't change
Guilty for letting my work mates and the children at school down
Guilty for not being able to face a trip to Lego land for my daughter
Guilty for not keeping on top of the house work
Guilty for not always being able to cook a meal for the family
Guilty for beeing week
And guilty for being a waste of space.
Worried about not being able to work
Think I need to get a grip lol
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