im feeling very me me

All your fibromyalgia experiences, questions and answers.

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im feeling very me me

Postby bekindtoyou » Fri Sep 27, 2013 1:51 pm

Im stuck. I got to a point of feeling relatively ok and then bam my back feels like its breaking in two and im stuck.. im back to standing upright again and taking it easy, and oh lots more which im sure you guys out there know about. I am really struggling with accepting the chronic bit of this illness..ive lost my job which i loved ive gained weight my eye sight is rubbish, and yes i am better than i was 17 months ago when i first fell ill I am up and down like a yo yo. I am using Amytrip which has helped loads as i realised just how frantic my thinking was, I have just had a horrid experience on Tramadol that made me sicker than ive ever known. And has left me with a sore tummy.

Any ideas??
Last edited by bekindtoyou on Tue Dec 09, 2014 10:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: im feeling pretty desperate at the moment and very me me

Postby derekh » Fri Sep 27, 2013 2:02 pm

hello kit
its very hard to live with this illness and everything it brings with it but you have to be kind to yourself and pace yourself otherwise it will beat you ive been to the bottom of the barrell a few times so i know what your going through .its not only the physical pain but the mental pain as well hope you will be feeling better soon ive had fibro for 45 years and im still here hope you find this helpful
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Re: im feeling very me me

Postby bekindtoyou » Fri Sep 27, 2013 2:12 pm

yes thanks that does help and it was identified that i had to stop being so hard on myself, its is very self indulgent tho isnt it, nature of the beastie!! Gosh 45 years thats a lot of learning time on how to cope, do you manage to cope with it now after such a long time or does it still take you by surprise ?
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Re: im feeling pretty desperate at the moment and very me me

Postby derekh » Fri Sep 27, 2013 2:33 pm

hello again depression is an illness not self indulgance stop beating yourself up your ill and depression like all illness takes time to heal .some days i feel like i have the weight of the world on my shoulders and everything is black but you have to accept its depression easy to say hard to do i know,yes this illness still takes me by surprise even though ive had since 15 (im 60 now) everyday something new crops up with it but its good to talk and share your experiences with other sufferers no one else understands,i also suffer with o.c.d. arthritis in spine, neck,hips etc.the list goes on im a proper old wreck.im fed up of people saying to me you look well or pull yourself together its not for lack of trying ive been trying for 45 years hope this helps to lighten your mood 'if can help somebody as i pass along this way then my living will not be in vain' all the best
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Re: im feeling pretty desperate at the moment and very me me

Postby jackiecarr » Fri Sep 27, 2013 2:43 pm

Hiya, I have only been diagnosed since January this yr. I really don't like myself, Olson I get days when it's me me me. Every time someone says something to me I think I am poorly in so much pain why can't anyone understand. Then days when I am feeling okish I think of everyone else and I take on they're worries. It is swings and roundabouts :(. I hope you have a good weekend. Oh PACE only do a couple of jobs a day, I write 2 jobs down on a night and that's all I do, it makes me feel good that I have done those 2 tasks. Gentle hugs xx
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Re: im feeling very me me

Postby bekindtoyou » Fri Sep 27, 2013 3:00 pm

Thank you both for your thoughts, I do wonder if fibro chooses people that think about others a lot. And both posts have really helped, it's just connecting with people also . Yes it's important to give myself the same love and comfort as I give others . It is apparent that I judge myself very harshly yet for any one else I make no judgement and love and support them unconditionally. thanks ... .. Hugs kindly received thanks
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Re: im feeling pretty desperate at the moment and very me me

Postby gizmo72 » Fri Sep 27, 2013 3:15 pm

Hi Kit,
I have found this site a great help with fibro and bad days do come and go. It has taken me 2 years to get onto a pain management clinic and it is a great help and would recommend trying to get on one. Also have a read of lots of posts on here. We are all in a similar boat with fibro, it is amazing how many new pains occur every day!!! Didnt realise there was so many joints, muscles and body parts that can hurt. You are never alone, big hugs :hugs: :hugs:
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Re: im feeling pretty desperate at the moment and very me me

Postby libbiek30 » Fri Sep 27, 2013 3:46 pm

I was feeling like that so my doc put me on sertriline and it has really helped. I have amitriptyline too so u can have both. Also I had acupuncture and this really helped my pain. Hope u get sorted soon :)
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Re: im feeling pretty desperate at the moment and very me me

Postby frances A » Fri Sep 27, 2013 4:22 pm

hello- I don't know if anyone will agree with me but surely we- the 'Fibro folk' - might feel just a little better, in our minds at least, if the drs could come to a united decision ? When I was first diagnosed, around 25 yrs ago, a bit of me was relieved. There was a reason for the pain, the attacks of off-balance walking, etc, it had a name, I wasn't just neurotic, or imagining it. This didn't last long, there were the ' oh yes, mmm,' drs, the ' take a couple of paracetamol' drs ( did they not realise I had tried these before I went to them ?)the ' yes well, you need more me time' drs. What I need is drs who all say ' yes you have an illness that causes all these things, we don't really know what causes it, and we don't have a cure, but we don't think you are neurotic/imagining it and we will try our very best to help you.' That at least would make me feel less hopelessly depressed - anyone else think :cry: this ?
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Re: im feeling pretty desperate at the moment and very me me

Postby gizmo72 » Fri Sep 27, 2013 4:38 pm

Definately. I think the doctors in America are at least doing studies into Fibro. From my experience although I have possible UCTD or Maybe Lupus my rheumatologist is quite dismissive of fibro. I wish medical people in my experience keep throwing 'pain management' ,, into the pot but it is hard not only dealing with the pain but also psychological issues ie. I used to be sooo active and now struggle to walk even a few steps. Ok rant over sorry somebody elses turn!!!!!
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Re: im feeling pretty desperate at the moment and very me me

Postby Ashton » Fri Sep 27, 2013 4:45 pm

Hi kitt
Please do not feel guilty for feeling down.im sure everyone who has this condition has at some point felt low,for a day,week ,or longer.i try to take one day at a time.some are very hard and some are better.like someone else said set small targets .mine for today was do the washing and peal some spuds it makes me feel good that I managed something even if there are a hundred other jobs waiting to be done it doesn't matter I've done something.please do not feel alone as we have all been there and will probably be there again .hugs x :hugs:
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Re: im feeling pretty desperate at the moment and very me me

Postby FluppyPuffy » Fri Sep 27, 2013 9:49 pm

I've had some of these times kitt, far too many than I like to acknowledge or admit to, so you're not alone with this. It takes time to reach that point where you can live with yourself with FM and how things have changed, and the route there does tend to be a bumpy one, but as you get closer to it, things start to even out and feel lighter and brighter than what they may have done so for quite a while. You can't rush your way their either, trying to take shortcuts actually ends up sending you the longer, wilder and woolier way round which can be even more :yikes: :yikes: :yikes: :yikes: I ended up going that daft way round and the toll it took on me was :too-upset: :pull-hair: :scream-1: read what others have been up to

Keep popping on here, there's usually someone around with :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: [chocolate] [chocolate] [chocolate] to help make things seem that little bit more :bear-dancing: :bear-dancing: :bear-dancing: If you want a :teddy-bear: :teddy-bear: to hug tho, they tend to be with me in the corner, hidden under the pinkie blankies and cushions :-D :-D :-D :-D
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Re: im feeling pretty desperate at the moment and very me me

Postby Karou » Sat Sep 28, 2013 1:36 am

Hi,

Yep you're not alone with this and I've found whenever struggle coming here (even if it's to quietly read and not talk) helps me to calm down a bit.
When I was diagnosed with BPD and depression in 2005, I was lucky enough to find a good counselor. I was quite stubborn and didn't want to accept that I'm I'll.

So she found what I see as a good way to explain why it's an illness. She said that there's a chemical imbalance going on in my brain which means it can't work the way it's supposed to. She then said that since the brain is an organ it needs certain things to do its job but like any other organ, if something is missing you can get ill.

Made sense to me and helped to work on accepting that it's not all in my head and I'm not weird or lazy. Just ill.

Now wrt Fibro, I'm still struggling with accepting the whole package myself but I'd like to say please don't be too hard on yourself, you have every right to feel upset about this illness. There will be days when you will feel a bit better and if you can, maybe make them extra special with a nice treat. Doesn't have to be expensive, I go for something like my favorite syrup in a coffee or a hot bath with a book.

Sending you some [chocolate] [chocolate] [chocolate] [chocolate]. Oh and if you want a purrrrrfect massage, I'll send one of my :cat2: :cat2: :cat2: :cat2: :cat2: :cat2: . :-)
Gentle :hugs: :hugs: , Karou

“Wishes are false. Hope is true. Hope makes its own magic.” - Brimstone
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Re: im feeling pretty desperate at the moment and very me me

Postby bekindtoyou » Sat Sep 28, 2013 10:45 am

Hi to everyone and a huge thanks for your thanks for your replies i am pretty blown away by the difference it makes to know there are others to chat with. It was really hard to say i was feeling so rubbish on line but I am so glad i did. It has helped loads. Its a lovely feeling to see messages for me this morning which has been a particularly difficult time of late and to feel lots of positive strokes. I was lucky to have one of those rare occasions when a best buddy came around on the off chance id be up to it, and we spent the evening together and we giggled and laughed hysterically at the most ridiculous things, .pure delight. Friends are so important. I really am going to 'try to' focus on today not tomorrow or next week and break it all down into bite size chunks. I would send you all lots of smiley things and virtual hugs but my computers a little old i think and it doesn't want to do it. So HUGS TO EVERYONE AND THANKS thats about as much as i can make it do doh xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Re: im feeling pretty desperate at the moment and very me me

Postby Karou » Sat Sep 28, 2013 9:35 pm

Glad to hear you had a good laugh and a good time with a friend. :-) You're right, friends can make a big difference but I have to admit that for me, it's always hard to tell them I feel rubbish. Somehow it's easier to talk here, maybe because I know I don't have to explain everything in tiny details and here people understand.

Anyways, I hope you are feeling better now but whenever you need to get something out your system keep writing here. There will always be a lovely person who listens. :-) :grouphug: :grouphug: :hugs:
Gentle :hugs: :hugs: , Karou

“Wishes are false. Hope is true. Hope makes its own magic.” - Brimstone
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