I am in a deep dark place!! I am so scared

All your fibromyalgia experiences, questions and answers.

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Re: I am in a deep dark place!! I am so scared

Postby moomoos » Sat Oct 26, 2013 2:17 pm

Hiya Julie and Milly... So glad to hear you are beginning to feel a bit better, any little bit is worth a thousand miles in this. You are being such a strong lady, and I take my hat off to you for coping as you have done. Milly is such a gorgeous helping angel for you and I thank God she was able to come to you.... you really have saved each other.

I am thinking of you and continuing to send Healing to you and your helping angel. Remember whats in the stars too from all the Furryends.

Loads of love from me and Bumphrey Humphrey and Whomassy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Re: I am in a deep dark place!! I am so scared

Postby millymoodoo » Sun Oct 27, 2013 7:43 am

Hi all

Guess who forgot to turn back the clocks lol!!!! I would have been up anyway as my back is so painful though Milly is still tucked up in bed fast asleep, i dont think she has realised i have gone yet!!! No oxy meds since thurs, i would sooner suffer the pain than the images that are now imprinted on my mind every time i shut my eyes. Its not long now until the 5th nov when my pain will be back under control again. Before i take the sr morphine i have a lot of questions as they want to start me on 60mg which sounds a high dose!! I need to understand what the withdrawel will entail as i went into taking the oxy meds totally green - never again.

Moomoo's i dont know where i would be without my Milly, at times i eally wished i was dead and Milly lifted me well above what i was thinking. I just look at her big brown eyes and my heart melts, we need each other more than ever now and our love is unconditional, i love Milly more than life itself and she has pulled me through with the help of all my friends on here for which i am so grateful. I think i have drained the stars so they may need topping up!!!

Love to all my friends and my little furyends on here :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss:
Julie and Millyxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Never look down on anyone unless you are helping them get up!!! When life hands you lemons, make lemonade!!! Everyday is a gift which is why we call it the present
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Re: I am in a deep dark place!! I am so scared

Postby denys » Sun Oct 27, 2013 3:02 pm

What fantastic news Julie, I echo all the thoughts about Milly (Harry, Shadow and James send licks and wuffs and mews to her) maybe and extra sqashidge is needed once you have your pain under control.

I dont blame you for looking into the withdrawal and other side effects before starting the new meds, you have been through the mill getting off the old ones and I think you deserve such praise for managing to bin them on your own. I can only imagine your doc will be impressed with you too.

We are thinking of you and all our friends (furry and otherwise) who need some extra :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: every day, and sending extra strength vibes together with wishes for pain, stress and any other worries and cares to be reduced
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Re: I am in a deep dark place!! I am so scared

Postby Laney26 » Sun Oct 27, 2013 6:41 pm

well done it sounds like you have got through the worst. last week i had upped my amitryptaline and my brain did some weird things to me it felt like it was running away and i couldnt keep up with it it was aawful so you are an incredible person to get thriugh what you have. someone asked me but what about the pain and i was the same as you i would rather suffer any pain than your own brain playing tricks. keep string. lots of love xxx
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Re: I am in a deep dark place!! I am so scared

Postby FluppyPuffy » Sun Oct 27, 2013 8:25 pm

You're doing amazingly Julie :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss: Don't worry about how much you take out of the stars, all our furryends keep filling them back up to help you get thru this :bear-dancing: :bear-dancing: :bear-dancing: :bear-dancing:

You're rounding that last corner on the final lap, which means there will then be just the strait in front of the grandstand to go with the chequered flag waving as you cross that line :f1-car: :f1-car: :f1-car: :f1-car: :f1-car: :f1-car:
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Re: I am in a deep dark place!! I am so scared

Postby fibro-lu » Mon Oct 28, 2013 10:14 am

good morning Milly

please find below two small comforting passages from the Bible

Psalm 23:4 (taken from: http://biblehub.com/niv/psalms/23.htm)

Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.


and

Psalm 91: 5-7 (taken from: http://biblehub.com/niv/psalms/91.htm)

You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.

Milly, you are a strong woman indeed
:flowers:
btw, if you like to go a bit deaper regards the meaning you can click on "comment" just above "Psalm ..."
all the best :cow-wave: Lu
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Re: I am in a deep dark place!! I am so scared

Postby LouLou » Tue Oct 29, 2013 1:59 pm

I've sent you some more lufts in the stars from me and Belle.

So proud of you for being strong and getting through this what an amazing achievement!
What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger ;-)
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Re: I am in a deep dark place!! I am so scared

Postby millymoodoo » Wed Oct 30, 2013 1:59 pm

Hi all

Thank you so much for your continued support tomorrow is a week since my last dose of oxy meds, i couldnt have done this without all my friends on here, furyends and of course my little diamond rock Milly. I will tell you now what i did last friday!!! I got all my oxy meds together and took the whole lot back to the chemist, i didnt want the temptation there if the pain or side effects became too bad. I dont know what i would have done had i needed them. I am not taking maximum dose buprenorphine as it doesnt really help my pain and fingers xxx the images and hallucinations have stopped, i havent had any since last sat. I had an appointment with my gastroenterologist on monday as i have crohns disease and even he got a lecture about prescribing oxy meds and he listened with interest about what i had had to endure.

Will keep you all updated but that rope ihas just about pulled me out of that dark long tunnel, thank you

Love to you all
Julie and Milly :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss:
Never look down on anyone unless you are helping them get up!!! When life hands you lemons, make lemonade!!! Everyday is a gift which is why we call it the present
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Re: I am in a deep dark place!! I am so scared

Postby millymoodoo » Fri Nov 22, 2013 11:40 am

Hi all and furyends

Well I am now getting a lot of relief from the Morphine that I have been prescribed, I am now on 70mg MST and oramorph as needed which is generally 2-3 times a day, my pain is finally getting under control. My gp has assured me that if I ever had to come off the morphine the side effects wouldn't be the same, she thinks I have either tried to reduce too quickly or the crohn's disease which has been dreadful has not allowed my body to absorb enough of the reduced rate and rushed the oxy's through my body too quickly. It made sense when she explained it to me as I am on asacol for crohns and sometimes they shoot straight through my system and excuse the punt pops out the other end whole but my gp is registering the effects that I had.

Thank you for all the support that you have all given me at this difficult time, you gave me the rope to hang onto when I didn't feel like carrying on and without this I am sure I would have failed. Its so good to know there is somewhere to turn when your life comes crashing down and you are ready for throwing in the towel!!! I thank the lord for all the support I have been given.

Even Milly is sleeping soundly again, bless her she has spent so long sleeping with one eye open. Sometimes I can be in a deep sleep and something wakes me and the number of times Milly has been sat bolt upright looking down her nose at me just watching me, she must be so confused and I often wonder what she is thinking!!!! We are back to normal walkies which she loves and as she is walking along side me you can see the skip in her step as she goes. Its strange our pets are so responsive to our needs, even the cats understand and sneak a sleep on my knee when Milly is asleep. Its lovely to be having lots of cuddles again though, when Milly wants some love she gently jumps up on my knee, she washes me then stays cuddled up for ages which is lovely!!!

Sending lots of gentle :hugs: :hugs: to all my friends on here
Lots of luffs
Milly :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss:
Never look down on anyone unless you are helping them get up!!! When life hands you lemons, make lemonade!!! Everyday is a gift which is why we call it the present
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Re: I am in a deep dark place!! I am so scared

Postby FluppyPuffy » Fri Nov 22, 2013 12:39 pm

I was wondering how you were going on, got a bit of a blurry screen after reading such a lovely update from all of you :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :bear-dancing: :bear-dancing: :bear-dancing:

I'm so glad (and relieved as well, as I was worrying a little with you not being on for a little while 8-) 8-) 8-) ) that things are behaving themselves so much better and you've been able to get to the important things like Milly's walkerings and luffs and cuggles with all your furbabies :flowers: :flowers: :flowers:

Our furryends are amazing with how they know what is wrong with us, and what they can do to help in their special furry ways :cat1: :cat1: :dogrun1:
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Re: I am in a deep dark place!! I am so scared

Postby whoami » Fri Nov 22, 2013 12:58 pm

Hi! I am so very happy for you that you have fought the demon and won.

You managed to pull yourself through all of this in such a dignified way. Not many could have done what you did. You should be very proud.

We must not forget your precious partner. We often take for granted these cherished soles. They give so much and expect nothing in return.

Lets hope all goes well with the new meds and you get the peace you deserve. Lorraine x
[i][b]

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Re: I am in a deep dark place!! I am so scared

Postby LouLou » Fri Nov 22, 2013 1:11 pm

Oh Milly I'm so so happy you are all doing well.

Like Fluppy I too had leaky eyes reading your update. It's so good to hear you are feeling some relief now.

Belle is very much like Milly, it always amazes me how she just knows to be gentle with me and when we have our cuddles but with my hubby she can be more playful. On my bad days when I'm sofa bound she is always there curled up with her head on my shoulder and she'll stay for hours like that. Melts my heart and it does make dealing with this awful illness just that bit more bearable.

Love and cuddles from me and Belle
xx
What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger ;-)
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Re: I am in a deep dark place!! I am so scared

Postby fibro-lu » Fri Nov 22, 2013 3:53 pm

:-D
:blowkiss:
;-)
:flowers:
all the best :cow-wave: Lu
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Re: I am in a deep dark place!! I am so scared

Postby denys » Fri Nov 22, 2013 4:22 pm

:woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :woot: :welldone: :welldone: :welldone: :welldone: :welldone: :welldone: brilliant so glad you have come through it all and Milly is managing to relax a bit :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D
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Re: I am in a deep dark place!! I am so scared

Postby Tracie » Fri Nov 22, 2013 6:42 pm

Well done hun
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