I'm having a bad day

All your fibromyalgia experiences, questions and answers.

Moderators: perseus, *Lisa*, FluppyPuffy

I'm having a bad day

Postby paulyarwooduk » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:23 am

This is driving me CRAZY!

I keep forgetting everything; I’m trying to remember a word or phrase but I just can't. So I try to describe it but I can’t find the words to do that either. So I give up and end up feeling a right idiot because I want to have a normal conversation with someone and I can’t because my brain won't function properly.

I put my bag on the floor and I realise that I hadn't put in it what I wanted to so I pick up my bag from the floor again but clumsiness takes over and knocks the bin flying emptying its contents over the floor. Frustrated, I somehow manage to get down on to my hands and knees and scoop the rubbish back in to the bin. I painfully make my way back to my feet and after recovering for a moment I start to feel an intense need to cry but I manage to stop myself.

Every part of me hurts, I can’t think straight or remember anything, I can barely walk today and yet I had to force myself to get to work because I need the money. I am sitting here at work with a thick fleece on and a very thick coat over my aching legs because I just can't keep warm.

I think it's embarrassing more than anything that here I am, at thirty-something, and I feel that I'm completely incapable of doing anything.

I know I'm not alone and I know that other people experience this too. Does anyone have any suggestions on coping with flare-ups at work?
User avatar
UKFM Member
Posts: 21
Joined: Fri May 04, 2012 7:49 am

Re: I'm having a bad day

Postby debstertigger » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:49 am

Really sorry to hear you are having a bad day today. First off a gentle hug and a smile to make you feel a little bit better. I have tried to give myself a little set of tools when I'm starting to struggle:
1: which is the most important thing to do today?
2: if i don't do the other things will it hurt, damage or be dangerous to anyone or thing? No- then it's not crucial!
3: i am allowed to say no- that's not possible at this moment
4: yes i am allowed to tell people it's a bit difficult at the moment and i can't do that or i need aome help with it. Often mornings takeme a good while to get going- clearing breakfast things/ spillages are sometimes a lot easier and quicker to clear when i get in from work! Noone has been harmed by it being there all day.. But it allowed me to get the important things of children to school and me to work on time but that slightly bit less stressed and het up which I know intenses my pain and fog!
5:at the end of the day i try to reflect on what i have actually done and completed: even the tiniest job completed is a star for you. When u look at the things you can and have done it is quite a lot more than what u haven't done!
It's taken me a very long time to be kind to myself and i'm extremely lucky that I have a loving partner who also reminds me of all rhe things I do do and not the things i haven't done. Things that are not done we refer back to number 2!
Not sure if this will be any help for you , i've only recently mastered this after lots of therapy and reading etc etc and finding what's best for me and mine.
Hope your day improves a little.
UKFM Newbie
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue Jun 18, 2013 4:32 pm

Re: I'm having a bad day

Postby andycrazy » Tue Nov 26, 2013 9:51 am

Try to keep calm and try to prioritise. Dont worry what others think as this will make it worse. Winding yourself up about it will agrevate the condition. Try to take your time and not rush anything. Its not easy working with a flare up - just do the best you can but dont beat yourself up if you forget to do something or are clumsy, Good luck I hope you get through it ok.
UKFM Member
Posts: 13
Joined: Sun Oct 27, 2013 5:08 am

Re: I'm having a bad day

Postby fruitloop » Tue Nov 26, 2013 10:03 am

Hi there,
I know exactly how you feel! If I'm having a high pain day on a work day my go to list is as follows;
Tens machine session before I even get up
Taxi to tram stop (minimising exertion wherever possible). Acces to work are great with helping with the costs
I have recently been provided with a supportive chair and leg support stool, which really helps
Deep heat rubbed on legs
Hot water bottle on lower back
Regular stretching
A gallon of tea!
Most of all try and stay positive and calm. Remember you are doing amazingly well to be holding down a job and fighting on. We shouldn't think of ourselves as is any well less than our fellow workers. We are doing what they do and then some! So please don't beat yourself up when things don't quite go to plan, you're already doing so well. Be proud.
Yesterday was an awful day for me. There is a lady in my office who has fibro, and my brain fog was so bad I couldn't express myself properly when she was telling me about her recent bad patch. I felt like I had really let her down, she was looking for support and all she got was jibberish!
After that I contacted the health and safety team and have now secured access for half an hour each day to a respite room. When all else fails, lying down is all I can do.
All the above is obvious stuff I know, but I hope you feel less alone in this, hearing someone say "me too" who has a chronic illness always helps me feel less out of control.
Do you work full time? Do you have a supportive manager/ colleagues?
UKFM Member
Posts: 11
Joined: Wed Nov 20, 2013 7:44 pm

Re: I'm having a bad day

Postby a.lyndon » Tue Nov 26, 2013 1:10 pm


As already said, prioritise the day,( you are most important). Do what you can and don't stress about the things you can't do, otherwise you will end up suffering more. Don't try and fight it, cause in my experience, that doesn't work. :nono:

I always run a nice hot bath in the evening before bed :sleep: so I feel a bit more relaxed.

Try and discuss the issues with your manager so that they understand more about the condition and how it affects you.

Hopefully you'll be feeling a bit brighter tomorrow.
UKFM Member
Posts: 48
Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2013 12:08 am
Location: Worcestershire

Re: I'm having a bad day

Postby paulyarwooduk » Tue Nov 26, 2013 10:01 pm

Thank you guys. You're all right of course. Sometimes it's hard to see the wood for the trees. Hearing that I'm not alone and that other people experience same issues does help. My work colleagues are great and very supportive. They let me work from home whenever things get tough. Sometimes I need to be at work because this condition causes depression and being with people is best for me.
Thank you all very much for taking the time to help me, I really appreciate it :-) xx

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S3 using Tapatalk
User avatar
UKFM Member
Posts: 21
Joined: Fri May 04, 2012 7:49 am

Re: I'm having a bad day

Postby painprincess1 » Wed Nov 27, 2013 1:03 pm

i dont work anymore but i am moving eeek. so id say what ever u dont have to do when you get home dont.try to leave cleaning things till weekend .i dont no if u live alone or have a family but try to have a nice warm bath before bed and take the time to sit in it for an hour,your hours to shut off and relax dont matter how later it is xxxxhugs
smiles and the world smiles with you. cry and you cry alone.
UKFM Member
Posts: 867
Joined: Mon Oct 15, 2012 1:38 pm
Location: near london

Re: I'm having a bad day

Postby whoami » Wed Nov 27, 2013 3:12 pm

paulyarwooduk....I hope todays sunrise brought you a better morning.

I can't imagine how you felt yesterday. I have been home from work now for 25 years and am not near retirement age yet and I miss the company of people.

You are right about being with other people and depression. There are times I don't see anyone but my hubby for weeks on end. Those weeks he does shopping himself instead of us both. Hubby does notice I sink when I am not in contact with others. I get that I don't care if I see anyone or not.

Back to you though...Try not to push yourself when you are already down. As said relax, this time is for you. "Stuff" will wait to get done or just won't.

Let's hope together that we all can be relaxed and enjoy all the pleasures of different celebrations that are shared this time of year. x

Expect the worst in life you won't be disapointed and you'll be prepared!
UKFM Regular
Posts: 1537
Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2013 9:22 pm
Location: Ontario, Canada

Return to Living with Fibromyalgia

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 9 guests