Sad, lonely and scared

All your fibromyalgia experiences, questions and answers.

Moderators: perseus, *Lisa*, FluppyPuffy

Sad, lonely and scared

Postby felinefine » Fri Dec 27, 2013 11:47 am

Hi all, had two days of socialising, Christmas and another family celebration now back on my own. So much pain Now my arms and hands are really affected total numbness and pins and needles, back hurts, ankles, legs, chest. The drugs don't seem to make much difference, took morphine last night but still not much sleep.

I have to make a decision 1st week in Jan whether I can go back to work after 6 months off, they have assessed equip etc but after two days of just sitting elsewhere, being amongst noise, I didn't dance, drink, stay out late, I'm wiped out and wasted. I'm wondering how can I work........ so scared about it all, sobbing as I write this.

I have been chatting to a lovely sounding guy I got talking to through a dating site, he's first question was do you dance..he does ceroc, I said I love dancing....but I can't, it hurts and wipes me out. He wants to meet this weekend. I feel my life has ended. How is he going to want to be with me.

Sorry, I feel so low, I don't like feeling like this I'm so scared, I can't keep talking to my family, I don't want them to be worried also
felinefine
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 114
Joined: Thu Sep 12, 2013 1:34 pm
Location: Essex

Re: Sad, lonely and scared

Postby FibroEllie » Fri Dec 27, 2013 12:09 pm

Sending you a huge hug! We're all expected to be happy at this time of year. I do understand how you feel, but we'll get through this!! Xx
FibroEllie
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 18
Joined: Sun Oct 13, 2013 3:51 pm

Re: Sad, lonely and scared

Postby bumblebee57 » Fri Dec 27, 2013 1:10 pm

Im so sorry u feel like this.I am in similar position.Even tho i dont get the amount of pain some do, i get stiff and tired and forgetful etc etc.Not nice to live with,esp wen u live alone. i dont want to live with anyone, but i do want someone just for me to make me feel "normal" and appreciated and respected now and then, but theyre hard to come by. Just one hug sometimes makes it feel a bit better,and i know its not the same, but heres a hug anyway.xx good luck with ur date.xx
bumblebee57
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 50
Joined: Sun Mar 11, 2012 12:57 am

Re: Sad, lonely and scared

Postby libbiek30 » Fri Dec 27, 2013 1:16 pm

Hi I think you need to see if gp and say how low it feeling, with the right medication u can feel a lot better. I do understand that feeling a lot of pain can stop u doing things u wud like to do.but if u pace yourself u shud still b able to enjoy life like dancing gently of course. I had acupuncture it really helped my pain and I got it through my gp at our local hospital. Hope this helps :-D
libbiek30
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 121
Joined: Wed Sep 25, 2013 10:12 pm

Re: Sad, lonely and scared

Postby juejue » Fri Dec 27, 2013 1:31 pm

Hi,

I'm really sorry you're feeling like this . Have you been offered a phased return to work, starting off with really low hours and seeing if you can slowly work up to your normal hours, work is a really scary prospect when you've been off but all you can do is take it one minute at a time. Have they got you a chair you are comfortable in as that makes a really difference? I have a theropod chair which works for me but there are plenty of other types out there. The other things that help me are a split keyboard and a roller ball mouse which helps me with cramps in my hands and wrist and wheat bags for my back/ hips. If you're in a job where you move around a lot those disposable heat pads are great but the cost can mount up.

In terms of meds maybe you need a med review if nothing is working? I take amitryptaline , pregabalin and tramadol or codeine for pain and sleep and rizaptriptan for migraines. When I really can't sleep I take zolpidem. Very gentle stretching also helps with the pain .

I hope some of this helps, remember you're not alone and take care.

Julia
juejue
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 73
Joined: Thu Feb 03, 2011 5:37 pm

Re: Sad, lonely and scared

Postby FluppyPuffy » Fri Dec 27, 2013 1:36 pm

felinefine wrote:I have been chatting to a lovely sounding guy I got talking to through a dating site, he's first question was do you dance..he does ceroc, I said I love dancing....but I can't, it hurts and wipes me out. He wants to meet this weekend. I feel my life has ended. How is he going to want to be with me.

Sorry, I feel so low, I don't like feeling like this I'm so scared, I can't keep talking to my family, I don't want them to be worried also

He could want to meet with you because he likes the way your personality has come across during your communications. If you decide to meet up with him, have you got a relative or friend that could come along with you and sit in a discreet position where you can be seen, but not too close that it looks like they're playing Gooseberry, to give you a bit of moral support??

After a busy time like Christmas when we have spent time with friends and relatives, going back home can make you feel quite deflated. Add in the hurtys making their presence well and truly felt, and it can start to pull in that darkness again, as well as stirring up all sorts of thoughts and feelings :shock: :shock:

Do you have things that you can do that won't either take too long or take too much out of you?? I know it can be difficult to get motivated when you feel like this, but once you start doing a little thing or 2, it can help keep you going as well as helping to fend off some of that darkness.

Then when you find yourself in a bit of a better place, maybe consider using a few minutes periodically to help with the decision making iro: your work situation. You could try writing the pros and cons down for returning and then the same thing for the lady of leisure option becoming more long term. If all that comes to mind is silly ideas, then include them as the next step is to start whittling them down to help you find what is the right option for you to take.
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.

If your dog doesn't like someone, then you probably shouldn't either
User avatar
FluppyPuffy
SITE ADMIN
 
Posts: 12719
Joined: Mon Jun 08, 2009 11:25 am
Location: Living Life On The Edge.......Of The Norty Step!!!

Re: Sad, lonely and scared

Postby Zeberdi » Fri Dec 27, 2013 1:59 pm

As far as work goes all you can do is try. Some people can manage to keep a job, others including myself just can't. It all depends and no one else can tell you if you can or can't.

As for relationships I became a young widow five years ago. With my health problems, my grief and all the restrictions fobro places on me I never thought I would find anyone else who would understand, put up with and be able to cope with the times I am a total wipeout and useless.

I was making choices for other people and it turns out I was wrong. I have foud a gentle, loving man who has accepted not only my problems but coped with a very angry teenage daughter and eventually built a good relationship with her.

Never lomit your life, it is limited enough. All you can do is try. If you fail you learned something, if you win you win. A huge part of living with this is learning acceptance. Acceptance of pain. Acceptance of restrictions. Acceptance of Misunderstanding your illness and most difficult of all is acceptance of help, of others being able to accept you as you are now. The acceptance that we will be rejected is sometimes easier to deal with. Hell, my own Mom thinks the only reason my partner is with me is I have a house, after all why would anyone want me?

Things have a way of working out. When I could no longer work it was the end of the world, the life I knew and being able to provide for myself. In return I was there as my daughter grew up, always available and it made all the difference to what is most important - our family. When my husband died my value was in being there for my daughter despite her anger, rejection and down right nastiness her grief brought out. Learning to live with my pain, my restrictions gave me enough wisdom to just be there till she worked through it. Fibro has taught me a lot about myself and other people. It has changed my life totally - but I have a life and so will you.

Just try, accept and keep going. Good times do come again even after the worst things you can imagine have happened. I hope knowing you are totally normal, that so many of us here have and are still making the journey will help you to relax and take it as it comes. Just being able to do that reduces stress and so reduces pain.

Good luck and don't limit yourself, don't make decisions for other people and make the most of every chance you can.x
Zeberdi
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 51
Joined: Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:12 pm

Re: Sad, lonely and scared

Postby felinefine » Fri Dec 27, 2013 4:09 pm

Thank you so much for your replies. It really has helped to know you are there, bless you xx

I am on paracetamol and tramadol and 600mg gabapentin daily and orimorph for head pains. My GP said the rheumatologist would refer me to pain clinic and physio but that apt not til March 2014. Even went private to see if they could offer me more but said no.

I have had an access to work assessement last month which had said about equip costs 4k but my work have failed me and although I've been willing to give it a go they are very slow, and Christmas break hasn't helped. I'm on half pay from early Jan although they haven't notified me of this. I'm scared of losing my house its part buy part rent . I've read the posted on here about benefits etc but cannot retain the info.

I promised myself I'd be happy this Christmas as I had a stroke in July and feel so fortunate to still be alive. It got the better of me today, this forum is a blessing to be able to vent frustrations out.

Thank you buddies xxx
felinefine
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 114
Joined: Thu Sep 12, 2013 1:34 pm
Location: Essex

Re: Sad, lonely and scared

Postby LoisF » Fri Dec 27, 2013 4:26 pm

I'd say go for it with this man. You obviously come across as a person he wants to meet.
Christmas is a horrendous time for is with Fibro. I took preparations a bit at a time and my
Ex-husband came round to make Christmas dinner. Now, like you, I'm totally floored. 2 glasses
Of wine with dinner. Big treat. Don't usually drink due to all the Meds I take. It does get me
Down. But every positive event is worth the recovery time.
Enjoy your date. If he isn't the one for you it doesn't matter, just enjoy xx
LoisF
UKFM Newbie
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Mon Dec 02, 2013 10:34 pm

Re: Sad, lonely and scared

Postby felinefine » Fri Dec 27, 2013 4:36 pm

LoisF wrote:I'd say go for it with this man. You obviously come across as a person he wants to meet.


I will, I have had a terrible time with relationships, in fact my last one was seeing someone else, we both found out dumped him and we are now good friends!!!

He seems a decent guy and if I don't meet him I will wonder what could have happened, if I do who knows...even if not romance may be a friend, or at least I've tried.

It's awful how just having a good time floors you isn't it LoisF I don't drink anymore, I worry about the affect of meds and my head is usually achy and I slur anyways lol

xxx
felinefine
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 114
Joined: Thu Sep 12, 2013 1:34 pm
Location: Essex


Return to Living with Fibromyalgia

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 9 guests