Any Mums with Fibromyalgia?

All your fibromyalgia experiences, questions and answers.

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Any Mums with Fibromyalgia?

Postby smellycatmou » Sun Jan 26, 2014 9:04 pm

Hi

I've just been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, just wondering if there's any mums battling through it with children? I have an 11 month old Son, I feel guilty for resting lots and maybe not doing as much as I can with him, do you? How do you manage? My Dr said to put him in nursery but I don't want to :( I make myself battle through it but have some bad days!

Xxx
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Re: Any Mums with Fibromyalgia?

Postby Katie Louise » Sun Jan 26, 2014 9:14 pm

Hi I have two children a little boy who has just turned 3 and a 4 year old daughter I struggle all the time. I also work. My children are in child care when I am at work but I can't afford to put them in to nursery to get the rest I need unfortunately I can't tell you how I manage because I push on with what needs to be done and then suffer for it later. My house work also suffers. Don't feel guilty about needing a rest it's not you being lazy it is the rest that all with fibro need and if you can get it then take it. Someone once said to me you should worry about yourself before anyone else because you are ill then you are no good to anyone anyway. X

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Re: Any Mums with Fibromyalgia?

Postby MikH-D » Sun Jan 26, 2014 9:19 pm

I know how you feel I have a 14 month old, it is hard but so worth it, we have been lucky as my lil girl is happy to play with her toys, I try to get her out once a week to play groups or soft play centre, which has helped as she gets to socialise and learn new skills. Then we go over my mums/sister who help me out my sis also has fibro so we help each other out.

It can be hard but is so rewarding


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Re: Any Mums with Fibromyalgia?

Postby Denbev » Sun Jan 26, 2014 9:25 pm

hi i have a 9+11 yr old+thankully for me they are very good+understanding,its the school runs i really struggle with but my partner is very understanding+he gets me a cleaner+takes the ironing to someone+tells me to lay+chill,i know im very lucky but i hate feeling guilty that i cant do much+feel shocking but you have to listen to your body+rest when you can otherwise you will be worse ;-) ;-)
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Re: Any Mums with Fibromyalgia?

Postby KerryR-R » Sun Jan 26, 2014 9:37 pm

I have an 11 year old daughter and continually feel guilty for what I don't/can't do with her. I'm incredibly lucky as she is wonderfully understanding and helps me out all the time but that doesn't stop me feeling guilty.
All I can say is to try and not feel guilty, although that's nigh on impossible, but you have to look after yourself otherwise you won't cope. Rest when your child does, ask for help from family and friends. Having a baby to look after when you have fibromyalgia must be so difficult, my heart goes out to you. I feel lucky my daughter was 10 before I got sick.
Take care and good luck xxxx
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Re: Any Mums with Fibromyalgia?

Postby Suziebells » Sun Jan 26, 2014 9:43 pm

I was diagnosed shortly after my second was born. My two boys are now 6 and 11 and they know that Mummy needs time to rest.

The hardest thing for me was not the lack of time to rest, but the fact that, especially during flares, it hurt to hold them, cuddle them and play with them. This, above all other symptoms of this condition is the one that makes me weep.
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Re: Any Mums with Fibromyalgia?

Postby Picklepudding » Sun Jan 26, 2014 10:03 pm

I have 2 children aged 11 and 7 and I also work 40 hours a week. Life is damned hard! But as a mum we do what we have to do, and that's all we can do x
Crohn's, IBS, plantar fasciitis, psoriasis, Vitamin D deficiency, minimal osteoarthritis, possible Hughes Antiphospholipid Syndrome and fibromyalgia...I'm a walking medical encyclopaedia!
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Re: Any Mums with Fibromyalgia?

Postby christianmom » Sun Jan 26, 2014 11:24 pm

Hi, I have five children eldest is 16, 12, 10, 8 and the youngest is 5. It is hard because I am tired when they get up and tired when they get home. I struggle with cfs and migraines as well so it is tough. I try to concentrate on just a tidy up and not worry to much about anything else. If I have the energy to read with the kids after school I am happy. My youngest suffers with selective mutism aswell so extra stress on top!!!
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Re: Any Mums with Fibromyalgia?

Postby smellycatmou » Mon Jan 27, 2014 8:46 am

Thank you for sharing, I dont feel alone! I do struggle with the guilt but I make a huge effort, I take him to baby group even though it hurts to carry him and we play and I clean when I can and shop but the last 2 days ouch! I didn't know if you do too much it bites you in the ass!
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Re: Any Mums with Fibromyalgia?

Postby painprincess1 » Mon Jan 27, 2014 10:28 am

I have 4 three teens and 20 month old,sorry but your dr is being stupid u can't shave a child in daycare why would u ,u had a baby to be with him for one.and it's not like we all got the money,fibro can be life long what u meant to do farm our kids out and see them weekends , sorry having a rant xxxxxxx your not alone and u do learn to do things at a slower peace .im sitting here with chest infection little ones not been well to but u cope love. So u don't do the washing on the day u wanted to guess what it will still be there when u do.try resting when baby's asleep while you can hehe xxxx
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Re: Any Mums with Fibromyalgia?

Postby FluppyPuffy » Mon Jan 27, 2014 2:33 pm

:welcome: to our little sanctuary smellycatmou :cow-wave: :cow-wave: :cow-wave:

Please don't feel guilty about needing to rest, or worrying that you may not be doing as much with him as you would like/want to. It's not the quantity of things that you do or spend doing with him that he'll remember, but the quality of the time you have together that he will know and benefit from. A short while doing something that makes him really happy will make so much more difference to him than a longer time doing something that barely amuses him. I'm a mum with FM, altho my offspring is now a :yikes: :yikes: :alien: :alien: teenager :shock: :shock: :shock: When FM started appearing tho, he was a toddler, and I was facing similar worries and problems to what you have whirling around at the moment.

I found that with some planning we could still go and do some of the typical kids activities and events. We maybe weren't as spontaneous as other families, but we tried to make the best of how things were, and I think, even under all the teenage angst, stroppiness and attitude, that he hasn't turned out too badly.

I would find out what was happening, when and where it would be, how long it would be on for etc as far forward as possible, and mark them all on the calendar. This would show me what gaps there were between these events/activities, as well as other things that we had going off (appts, visits etc.) From there, I could see which ones would be the easier to go to, or to juggle around to enable us to go to something else that looked a bit trickier to arrange. Doing this meant I could also arrange and adjust times and days for being a domestic goddess, and also for when I needed to ease back on things in the run up to an outing/trip, party etc. It didn't always work, but did help me get thru the pre~school stage in a slightly better state than I might have done.

We also had plans in place for when we were at home. As getting down on the floor then getting back up was an operation in itseld (and still is today :oops: :oops: :oops: ) as well as not always being very comfortable, we'd set up base on the sofa. He would then bring something he wanted to do or play with, or quite usually several things that he wanted to do :fingerscrossed: :fingerscrossed: :fingerscrossed: We'd start off playing with something, and when I could feel myself starting to feel not~so~good, I'd tell him so that he knew we needed to change to something a little less noisy or active. Again, it didn't always work as there were times he wanted to carry on what we were doing, but on the whole it helped with things.

I know your little man is somewhat younger than what mine was, but hopefully with the various suggestions and advice you've been given, there might be something that gives you the nugget of an idea to try out to make things a little more manageable for both you and bubba whilst still being able to do some of those mum and baby things together.

If he still has a snooze during the day, rather than using that time to do some domestic goddessing, use it to rest and relax yourself. Enjoy the peace and quiet, indulge yourself with a drink and favourite biscuits or something, and for a short while pretty much switch off, apart from that one ear that always stays active to listen out for him.

If he is a happy and healthy ickle fella' you'll know you're getting a decent balance of things :bear-dancing: :bear-dancing: :bear-dancing:
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Re: Any Mums with Fibromyalgia?

Postby smellycatmou » Mon Jan 27, 2014 6:11 pm

Thanks flappy lol I'm lucky my boy is so good and happy and sleeps great, I nap with him in the afternoons :) I've got PND too so it's tough but I think being positive is helping! Does fibromyalgia pain go away and then you get flare ups? I seem to be much better in the last week or so
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Re: Any Mums with Fibromyalgia?

Postby silvermaneuk » Mon Jan 27, 2014 7:08 pm

Hi I have two grown up kids one is nearly 21 and one is nearly 17 and one nearly 15. I learned to prioritise what was really important, and use my energy for that. I am lucky to now have a great husband, but haven't had that in the past. As my kids have got older, I got them to help by doing chores for pocket money, and they would do the little things, I never seemed to have energy for.

When flaring they give me lots of extra help. They are awesome. I am very blessed.

I work part time. But have learned to really be careful with how I use my energy,but then again, I have an amazing boss, and she is a great friend. She totally understands my illness and helps me so much. :)

I guess I am Very lucky.

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Re: Any Mums with Fibromyalgia?

Postby smellycatmou » Mon Jan 27, 2014 7:55 pm

Thanks silver I have a brilliant husband too, we are really lucky :)

We can make the best if what we have :)
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Re: Any Mums with Fibromyalgia?

Postby LizzyMac » Tue Jan 28, 2014 12:11 pm

I started getting sick when my son was about 12. He's almost 19 now.

I always felt guilty because so many times I couldn't go see him do athletics or attend concerts or plays, because I couldn't sit up that long (I get bad dizzy spells if I sit/stand too long.)

For me, the key was being honest with myself about whether or not I was doing the absolute best that I could. If so, then I tried to give myself a break. What can anyone expect but your best? It isn't easy, because I was also dealing with intense frustration about wanting to do more, but not being able to.

If you have a partner or friends that can help when things are tough and you're in a bad patch, that makes all the difference.

In some ways, I think my illness helped my son develop into a nurturing and compassionate person. I wouldn't have wished for him to have a disabled mother, but he's come out of it very well and he now has a few things his friends don't: a sense of priority, an understanding of what real difficulty is, and the ability to empathise and care for someone who is struggling. Those are all things that I believe will serve him well.
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