Having an emotional few days

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Having an emotional few days

Postby Slocoj91 » Thu Jan 30, 2014 8:33 pm

So, I'm still not officially diagnosed (I'm being sent to a specialist when my bloods have been done again, probably). Last week was bad, I'd be up then right back down. This week has been more even, but more of a steady decline as opposed to peaks and troughs. Today I've felt as though my fingers were locked.

I was really lucky last year, in that I graduated in July, and got my current job from the first interview I went to. And it's wonderful. I'm software testing for an elearning company. I can wander about when I need to, I'm not policed on my loo time (like my last job!) and I like being there. But I'm really scared of losing it due to my health. Undiagnosed means I'm probably not getting ideal treatment but my GP is trying which I'm grateful for.

I've also had depression and anxiety for longer than the potential fibro. It seems that if it IS fibro it was triggered by an event that has resulted in mild PTSD (if that can be mild). So I'm already pretty emotional. I've also been on my antidepressants so long that they're wearing off a bit, they're fairly mild ones anyway. And now I keep telling myself that I can't be feeling the pain I'm feeling, it makes no sense and I'm imagining it. Really beating myself up over it. But some days I can barely stand up,and I can't count the number of near falls I've had getting into or out of the shower (which hurts to use).

I just needed to get it out a bit, thanks for listening x
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Re: Having an emotional few days

Postby Eltham girl » Thu Jan 30, 2014 10:49 pm

Hey, you are doing really, really well. Dig in there. I know it's tough holding down the job but if you're worth it, and you know you are, you'll get the reasonable adjustments, from your reasonable employer to get you through. That's how I make it work for me. Keep your chin up. X
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Re: Having an emotional few days

Postby Slocoj91 » Fri Jan 31, 2014 12:31 pm

Thank you, so much.

I'm used to having no control of my head, but now my body has joined in, and it's scary. To boot, OHs sister was diagnosed last year, passed out a couple times in work and had a diagnosis within a month, but I'm worried that they may not have been thorough, especially since severe arthritis and vitamin deficiencies run in their family, maternally. Then his mum goes on about how well her daughter is doing if I so much as wince when I move :roll:

My boss is, thankfully, very understanding. It's just that me being off sick has a big impact, but so far rather than going off sick I ask to work from home, so that it doesn't overflow into other's workload. Anything booked in for X day has to be done that day, otherwise projects run late, but wherever I can manage from home I do. Need a new desk chair though, mine is a cheapo one and the back randomly jerks!

Oh I don't half go on!
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Re: Having an emotional few days

Postby LouLou » Fri Jan 31, 2014 1:04 pm

Hi slocoj91

Don't worry about the reant we all need to vent sometimes and let off some steam. It sounds like you have a supportive GP and workplace which are both great to have in your corner for the furture when you do get a diagnosis. I know it may seem like all you do is go backwards and forwards for tests and things, I did too before I was officially diagnosed about 2 years ago.

The thing with FM is that some of the symtoms mirror some other illnesses so GP's tend to try and rule out everything before diagnosing so hang on in there and trust in your GP (sounds like a good one and they are quite rare lol)

In terms of work, I too struggle some days but I enjoy my job and that helps me push along. If you work at a PC have you looked into getting a wrist support for your mouse/keyboard? I have a lot of pain in my arms and wrists and work in Finance so all my work is computer based. I was able to order the supports through work as part of Health and Safety so it's worth asking if there are any other adjustments that can be made? Our Health and Safety Manager actually did an assesment on my work area in regards to the desk lay out/chair type and settings etc so this is also something you could ask for? Every little helps.
What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger ;-)
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Re: Having an emotional few days

Postby Slocoj91 » Fri Jan 31, 2014 6:45 pm

Hi LouLou,

I had been thinking about asking if some adjustments at work might be possible, but I'm sure there's some sort of scheme where the company gets given the money for the adjustments they make if you have the diagnosis and proof, so I've kind of been putting it off. As a result of my anxiety I find it quite hard to ask for things anyway, and coming into the company and asking them to spend money on me also seems presumptuous with me still being in probation.

The main thing is my chair, but I haven't found one that works for me, so I need to work that out really as well!

Thanks!
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