why cant things just be simple!!??

All your fibromyalgia experiences, questions and answers.

Moderators: perseus, *Lisa*, FluppyPuffy

why cant things just be simple!!??

Postby animeemo3 » Thu Feb 13, 2014 1:47 am

So sad :'( had some quiet time to myself this week and was thinking a lot. Actually realised how little my life actually has in it. Go out maybe once every 2-3 weeks, usually to pick up my scripts as I can't rely on anyone else to get them and I cant use the pharmacy delivery service because the shared house I live in is full of bad people I try not to come into contact with, plus I can barely cope with the stairs as it is without having to rush down them to answer the door before some nosy busybody comes out (not to mention I can't hear the knocking from the front door and my own specific doorbell has been run out due to all the other idiots in this place ringing it to try and get let in because half of them shouldn't even be living here and dont have keys, despite 3 different signs being put up stating that in no uncertain terms will you be let in if you ring this bell, but still it continued). My days consist of either not enough sleep resulting in feeling crappy, or too much sleep, also resulting in feeling crappy. I sit on THE most uncomfortable sofa made by man and blankly stare at whatever is on the tv. Dont even remember what I've watched most of the time. Tried to take up knitting again, but my hands and fingers cramp up after 10 minutes, and the repetitive motion plays havoc with my shoulders and back. Used to love videogames, but my concentration won't hold up for more than half an hour, by which time my feel have become numb and swollen, the pulling in my hips and reached the agony point, my neck has locked and my headache starts up again. Love food, but cannot enjoy it anymore, due to the fact that by the second or third bite, its become painfully lodged in my throat and I have to physically stretch my gullet with copious amounts of liquids just to get it to move and by the time its gone, I dont usually eat anymore. Hooray I though. Maybe now I'll shift some of this damned weight pcos has piled on within the last 2 years, but sadly no. Even that isn't simple. I speak to no one but my partner (what amazing conversations they are... Not) and my gp. No family, no friends, no fun, no fair. Why is everything so complicated for me? What did I do to get all this? Im 21 for crying out loud, I should be having the best years of my life and I HATE every day. I hate it. But what can I do? Somebody please tell me what I can do because at this point, im on the last piece of thread on the end of my tether. I apologize for such a long and horrible post, but it's a few weeks worth of crap that's been whizzing around my head and I need to get it out.
animeemo3
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 99
Joined: Sun Jan 20, 2013 3:20 pm

Re: why cant things just be simple!!??

Postby Purplepig » Thu Feb 13, 2014 2:36 am

You have to print this off and give it to your GP, friends, family, it doesn't feel like it but they can help. You are in a very dark place and have to get help. No prob posting here, with all the crazy sleep patterns, someone is always about to keep you company. I know it sucks, laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone, it's not like that here. Things will get better hard to believe, and there is always someone, somewhere, much worse off than me, this is what I tell myself. You are too young to have these feelings you are special and loved by people though you think not. Someone should be able to get you suitable housing, also people don't know so they don't know what to do or say. Unfortunately you have to make the first painful steps. Stay strong, keep talking / posting this helps you vent some anger and feel a bit better. xx :goodluck2: (((:))) gentle hugs. Rest as often as possible x Hope this helps keep in touch x
Purplepig
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 25
Joined: Tue Nov 19, 2013 11:52 am

Re: why cant things just be simple!!??

Postby Jeany » Thu Feb 13, 2014 7:13 am

See your GP and like the previous comment said take a copy of this with you. If you have no printer write it out, and get some help.
Also do all you can to get somewhere better to live even ask your local councilor for help, because it is making your illness much worse living in a shared house full of bad people.
Go on Gumtree and Freecylcle to find free furniture.
By all means have a rant on here because we know what it is like to live with, and can support you.
Take care and let us know how you get on, but most of all look for a new home. x x x
Jeany
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 120
Joined: Tue Aug 20, 2013 10:14 am

Re: why cant things just be simple!!??

Postby animeemo3 » Thu Feb 13, 2014 9:53 am

I already gave my gp a three page letter, all she did was send me for blood tests (which she knows won't get done any time soon because my hospital is very far away and I dont get out much). As much as I'd like to leave, we cant. If my money gets stopped in a different place we'll be kicked out and I can't be homeless, not again. At least in this place, if my money gets stopped, the landlord is understanding and he knows he'll get his rent when it starts again.
animeemo3
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 99
Joined: Sun Jan 20, 2013 3:20 pm

Re: why cant things just be simple!!??

Postby Zeberdi » Thu Feb 13, 2014 2:38 pm

Tell your Doctor in no uncertain terms that things are at an all time low and you consider your life to be worthless. Tell him you want counseling and support. Tell, not ask.

From the tone of your letter your moods are getting lower and things are getting to you more. You need more help now. Speak to Citizens Advice. I know how damn hard it can be to get an appointment so I actually write a letter, explain my problems and post it to them with my contact number on so they can call me. This has helped me a great deal.

No one here can change this for you. There should be and is more help out there but the least pushy do not get it and this with depression will make you a victim of circumstance if you let it. You need an advocate in your life in an offical capacity. I spent a year on counsellling as a suicide risk for lots of reasons. Medication and counselling got me to a better place but I was lucky to have a home and be able to keep it. I am sure that if I required more intervention at this level it would have been there for me and would encourage you to try to reach out. Maybe even contact your local MP. YOu would be amazed, if they take your case on, just how much they can make things move.
Zeberdi
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 51
Joined: Sat Dec 07, 2013 1:12 pm

Re: why cant things just be simple!!??

Postby dejay » Thu Feb 13, 2014 6:31 pm

I think you can ask your dr to write to your local council , I know they will at our dr its worth a try but tell your dr about your living conditions,and all your health problems I hope this will help ,I can understand how you are feeling, so I send you good wishes,keep writing we are all here to listen,
dejay
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 74
Joined: Wed Sep 11, 2013 4:29 pm


Return to Living with Fibromyalgia

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 9 guests