Never needed my fibro friends more than NOW!!Suicidal

All your fibromyalgia experiences, questions and answers.

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Re: Never needed my fibro friends more than NOW!!Suicidal

Postby Zeberdi » Tue Mar 04, 2014 7:57 pm

The support should you be pushed and loose your job will be there, eventually BUT REMEMBER You are doing brilliantly so far and have already done far more than you thought you could - had better results than you feared and have possibilities you do not yet know about.

Take a step into your bosses shoes -he has pressure and stress, the only way he can solve the one presented by you not being there is to follow procedure and try to get help by putting the problem on to you - he just wants his problem gone. This is not personal. Even if he can't understand how ill you are, how stress magnifies and increases the problem he is not being personal - he is just doing a job, maybe not politely or kindly but there are rules he has to follow.

There are procedures. There are rules and you have backing to support you through these. You need to trust in them and also in that life has a way of doing things you don't expect. I lost my own job many years ago. I fought cancer with my husband and never left his side but lost him aged just 43. I lost friends after they lied and stole from me just after this and while my dad was dying. All this with fibro, depression, panic attacks. I even nearly died after a hemorage in my stomach that my sister blames alcohol for and still treats me like my only problem is drinking never mind that I threw up every day for two years pure acid, every tablet I took had the same effect as asprin and I lost nearl 6 stone in 12 months at a point where my teenage daughter was very hurtful and resentful because of what had happened to her life and what my sister told her to think. Want to end it all - you bet! Never did and never will. I talk a great deal to widows on a website and many are widows to suicides. To hear the pain, the regret, the guilt, the trauma and the sheer desperation suicide has caused them can't be described - it never ends for them and their family. Every day, every memory, every special occasion they are torn apart again and again. Please, maybe no one else pays to keep you, but there are family that love you and would suffer this pain and trauma for the rest of their lives - if you love them do not consider removing you from the problem - you will become a painful, overwhelming and destructive problem BECAUSE you aren't there.

Now, there are things I would like to suggest to you to help. Firstly an alternative that has worked for me, my husband and others I have told about this. Take six odourless garlic tablets a day. Two, three time a day. It is a natural anti biotic, it thins the blood, it helps the heart and it is also a natural anti inflamatory. The overall effects of this are amazing on chest infections, sinus infections and congestion. It has worked for a friend with persistant infections that did not respond to anti biotics - which in them selves lower your imune system any way. In future have the flu and phnemonia jab, I have and it has saved me many days of being ill.

I take a good all round multi vitamin and mineral. I know diet is supposed to give you what you need but we seem to need more. I added extra b vitamin inc folic acid and vitamin d along with Q10 and vitamin c.

Herbal calms work wonders for me. They help relax me and take some of the stress out of the day. There are also sleep calms for night time. While you are going through this I would suggest you take them to help you.

Personaly I avoid caffine in anything - coffee, tea, coke and also artificial sweetners. These all seem to make me worse.

Simply drinking enough water - 2 litres a day is ideal because it clears out toxins from the body, it clears through the kidneys and liver and also helps you keep hydrated which makes you feel more alert and deliver oxygen to the body easier - after all it is H2O.

Get as much rest as you can and look after your self. Use whatever time and reliefe you can get to do this in. Get to your doctor and see if there is anything they can do - accupuncture helped me a great deal.

You can do a lot to help yourself and to worry will change nothing but the day you are worrying and possibly make you worse. Easy to say and hard to do. I read and reread The Power of Now by Erkhart Tolle to help me do this - a fantastic book I would suggest to everyone.

Endure - this to shall pass. xx
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Re: Never needed my fibro friends more than NOW!!Suicidal

Postby FluppyPuffy » Tue Mar 04, 2014 8:34 pm

I've been reading thru this Coco, and I so wish that fairy_dust fairy_dust and [chocolate] [chocolate] were the answers for you. I can't think of any more that I can add advice~wise to what has been said as I've been out of a work environment for so long :oops: :( :cry:

Your friend who deals with tribunals sounds the right sort of person to go with you to this formal meeting, and the suggestion about contacting Acas (or the equivalent of them where you are) is a good one. As well as general advice online, there should be contact numbers for you to speak to someone to get some advice that is specific to you and your situation.

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss: :blowkiss: fairy_dust fairy_dust fairy_dust fairy_dust fairy_dust :teddy-bear: :teddy-bear: :teddy-bear: :teddy-bear: :teddy-bear:
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Re: Never needed my fibro friends more than NOW!!Suicidal

Postby emndtee » Tue Mar 04, 2014 11:21 pm

Hi Coco
I'm in Scotland to and have been through a similar experience. I won't say I know how you feel I only you will know that. What I will say is it gets easier once you accept and allow the right people to help you.
Go to citizens advice they can direct you to the right people and places and will also help with forms etc.
Please see your GP as soon as you can and let them know how you are feeling.
This site is fantastic and you know you will be supported here, you are not alone.
Love emndtee x
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Re: Never needed my fibro friends more than NOW!!Suicidal

Postby Itsnotinmyhead » Wed Mar 05, 2014 12:09 am

Sending a huge hug.
Remember we are here for you and keep in touch. There is always someone here or who will be very soon.
I know you feel alone.
I had a work issue a few years ago when my step dad of thirty five years who I loved to bits died, then five days later my husband had a heart attack, and six weeks after that my dad died. I was given a disciplinary and warning for underperformance and reprimanded for asking for two compassionate leaves in less than two months.
People have given you lots of advice on other posts which sounds helpful.
Thinking of you and sending hugs :grouphug: :hugs:
“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
― Maya Angelou
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Re: Never needed my fibro friends more than NOW!!Suicidal

Postby millymoodoo » Wed Mar 05, 2014 9:43 am

Hi

Its so sad that you are feeling so low but this is a mirror image of my life 4 years ago!!!! I had to finish work as I became too ill to work and at the time I was devastated but to be fair they did me a massive favour in the long term. It didn't feel like it at the time as my home was repossessed as I couldn't afford the mortgage but with the help of my mp I was housed in a beautiful adapted bungalow where I am so very happy.

Only last week I went bankrupt as I couldn't pay the shortfall when the mortgage company sold my property and it was such a relief as it had been going on for 4 years, I suppose I was hoping things would improve and I hoped to be back at work. I also live alone and had always worked and didn't know how I would manage but believe me your health is more important than any amount of money. There is help out there to claim whatever you are entitled to.

Sending you :hugs: and :blowkiss:
Milly
Never look down on anyone unless you are helping them get up!!! When life hands you lemons, make lemonade!!! Everyday is a gift which is why we call it the present
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Re: Never needed my fibro friends more than NOW!!Suicidal

Postby cocobella » Thu May 15, 2014 11:49 am

Sorry for the late reply everyone. I have just read through the responses again. Luckily I am in a better mental state now, however that was a rough ride recently! Thank you so much for all your support it really does help me and make me feel like I am no longer alone <3

Coco x
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Re: Never needed my fibro friends more than NOW!!Suicidal

Postby Helhit » Thu May 15, 2014 12:45 pm

Hi Coco im so glad you're feeling more positive.
I am going through similar to you with work. I have a manager who only thinks of himself and his job. I am on a formal review whilst currently being signed off.
The thought of losing my job is in my head all the time, as I know im not going to be able to work full time. This brings all the financial worries with it.
But after reading the replies on here ive decided to try and not worry about things I cant change and somehow find a way of accepting a new me and all that brings.
When you go to your meeting go in with confidence and if you feel something just over your shoulder its just all of your fibro friends sending you love and support xxx
Fibro is like the wind. You can't see it and when it flares up it knocks you off your feet!
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