So tired of feeling so useless

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So tired of feeling so useless

Postby Davesmum » Tue Apr 22, 2014 1:12 pm

Hey all, don't really know where to start, I've not been 100% diagnosed with FM yet, will be seeing my Dr this afternoon to discuss. But I read through the long, long, printout he gave me and I tick every box. For years I've been suffering with mental health issues, depression and anxiety mainly, then was diagnosed as having hypermobility Syndrome a few years ago, after having excruciatingly painful joint dislocations from the age of 10, restless legs from age 7(which is now restless legs, arms and jaw) 2 knee operations, one carpal tunnel op(so far), shoulder op coming up as well.

I have been in and out of work for the last few years, had to give up my job as a carer(which I loved) due to back and joint problems, started at little job at a local primary school last September, only 6.6hrs a week, lunchtimes, supervising the little darlings in the playground, and I'm finding it increasingly difficult to cope. I feel so flippin useless, that I can't even cope with and hour and a bits work a day, but I can't. When I'm working, the housework suffers, the dogs don't get walked, I just can't do it all. Makes me feel so guilty. My other half works as a cabbie, does a school run mon-fri, plus full time college in between and then works Friday and Saturday nights from 6pm til 5am,and he still bounces out of bed every morning, while I can't cope with the smallest amount of activity in a day.

I seem to take on every little stress and worry and it wears me down, I can't help it, I've always been the one that "fixes" everyone else's problems, but now I need help, there's no one to be found to help fix me.

I don't know if any of that makes sense at all, currently trying not to have a breakdown in the middle of Starbucks.
Sorry for the verbal diarrhoea, but I needed to let it out.
Last edited by FluppyPuffy on Tue Apr 22, 2014 2:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Made paragraphs clearer for easier reading.
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Re: So tired of feeling so useless

Postby Baby-Hedgehog » Tue Apr 22, 2014 1:29 pm

Don't beat yourself up lovey, we've all been there - and quite a few of us still are. The change to 'capability' is one of the hardest - after over 10 years living with fibro I still feel useless from time to time... it's always the daft stuff - like decorating the kids bedroom.... of course I should be able to do it.... and ultimately I can, just as long as I accept that I can only manage an hour, and then I need painkillers and plenty of rest. It's about lowering your expectations, and celebrating what you do manage, not beating yourself up on what you can't.

Be kind to yourself..... some days will be better, some will be worse.... but when it's worse, it's not your fault xx
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Re: So tired of feeling so useless

Postby Dingle » Tue Apr 22, 2014 1:33 pm

Hiya Davesmum, sorry to hear you're feeling bad at the moment and after reading your post I have to say that I'm well impressed!! You must have been dealing with one problem after another for years, mix that with the pain I know you've been having to cope with and this is the extent of your rant - I would be screaming, lol!!!!

Seriously tho', don't beat yourself up....you're entitled to feel angry, frustrated and a bit peed off with life, but just treat it as a blip if you can and allow yourself to be mad :crazy: Hopefully you'll get a proper diagnosis of your FM soon and that your Dr is up to date on the best treatment to start you on, although I'm sure you probably already rattle with the amount of meds you use.

You're not alone, there are thousands of us out there and there is always someone here to listen. Good luck this afternoon, try not to let anyone rush you and make sure you ask any questions you have......then go home, make a cuppa and make sure you put your feet up for an hour!!
Last edited by FluppyPuffy on Tue Apr 22, 2014 2:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Made paragraphs clearer for easier reading.
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Re: So tired of feeling so useless

Postby snoozybunny » Tue Apr 22, 2014 1:43 pm

Hi Davesmum,
I think you'll find 99.9% of people on this forum will identify with everything you have said at somepoint in their unpredictable journey with Fibro :-| . I know you haven't been formally diagnosed but whatever is going on it's not being very kind to you at all. You must try and be kind to yourself - and I know from personnal experience what a difficult thing that is to accept - but it's a worth while hurdle to climb.

You know how hard and how long you have been struggling for and letting guilt into the mix is something you definatley don't need. I can't offer to fix you - wish I could !!!! - but I can send you encouragement and understanding. If it is Fybro then it's very much about coping techniques rather than cure unfortunatley but you can, and will, find ways around the restictions it can cause and find fulfilment in things that up until now you may not have even considered. There is always someone around on this forum to 'chat' to, rant with, cry with. and most importantly, laugh with.

See what your Doctor's got to say and take it from there.........and don't have a break down in Starbucks you might spill your coffee !!! Hugs. x
Last edited by FluppyPuffy on Tue Apr 22, 2014 2:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Made paragraphs clearer for easier reading.
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Re: So tired of feeling so useless

Postby painprincess1 » Tue Apr 22, 2014 3:55 pm

Hi and welcome , yes I have HMS and my knees pop out its so very very painful. So I no how you feel since I was 14 I have had to think about every move I make, and always have my phone at hand in case it happens and I'm stuck on the floor.
No one with any illness can say that don't have bad days and sad days mad days and guess what your get good ones to.
So what u may. To get as many but you will enjoy them when u do.

Don't beat your self up because you won't win against fibro.best to try to get along with it xxxxxx
smiles and the world smiles with you. cry and you cry alone.
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