feeling alone being a Man with FM

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feeling alone being a Man with FM

Postby stuartrmc » Mon May 05, 2014 4:33 pm

Hey there. Diagnosed 2 months ago.. am doing a lot better now than I was :-) but feel alone as so many people are accusing me of lying and that men can't get it.. I'm usually ok but last few days I have been so angry and frustrated with it.. do many men get it and do you have the same issues
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Re: feeling alone being a Man with FM

Postby painprincess1 » Mon May 05, 2014 4:36 pm

Hold on to your seat as soon your have a lot of replays.
Some ppl are really stupid .of course men can get it sex has nothing to do with it. In fact I'd like to bet the only reason it seems to be in more women then men is that a lot of men hide it. Or blame it on something else.
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Re: feeling alone being a Man with FM

Postby denys » Mon May 05, 2014 5:19 pm

As PP has said of course men get it, just look around the boards we have had 2 men join only days ago :!: :!: :!: :!: It is beginning to be seen as a condition that not only affects middle aged women but all ages and gender. Dont feel alone with it all, we hear you and sympathise completely.

Tell those who accuse you of lying to read the NHS website, which shows that some men suffer just as badly as some women absolute idiots to say such things to you :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Denys

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Re: feeling alone being a Man with FM

Postby *Lisa* » Tue May 06, 2014 9:36 am

Who told you men cannot get fibro?

Research does suggest that more women are diagnosed but there are many many male sufferers too.

I have made many friends with quiet a few male fibro's and meet up regularly.

We have a growing number of male members on here.

Your not alone! :hugs:
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Re: feeling alone being a Man with FM

Postby stuartrmc » Tue May 06, 2014 9:46 am

Quite a few people. My parents and a few close family me members think that I'm just faking it and that I'm not in as much pain as I say.. but yesterday..my dad came round on a very bad day..I couldn't leave my bed and was in tears...just need to workout how to work with it.. as I have tried to be stubborn and fight it.. ( only made it worse)
what we do in life echoes in eternity
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Re: feeling alone being a Man with FM

Postby *Lisa* » Tue May 06, 2014 10:02 am

It took me many years to learn how to live with FM.

Its trial and error so try not to be too disheartened.

Learning your limitations and pacing takes time but you will achieve it.

Sometimes you will flare and not know the cause.

Fighting it and pushing past your limitations will effect you.

CBT in chronic pain may help you. Your GP can talk to you about this therapy and refer you. Its teaching you techniques in how to pace, learn limitations, cut down stress and much more to help you manage/cope with FM a little better.
As a Public Moderator & Admin of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia...Lisa
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Re: feeling alone being a Man with FM

Postby trialsdan » Tue May 06, 2014 10:49 am

stuartrmc you are not alone i have fibro as well and im a 27 yr old male
i know what its like to have people think your putting it on its very hard for people to understand when you have an invisable illness like ours that is there problem you can try to explain to people how it effects you and the pain thats invovled
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Re: feeling alone being a Man with FM

Postby FluppyPuffy » Tue May 06, 2014 2:09 pm

You're very definitely not alone with this Stuart. Whilst at the moment male FMers are somewhat of a minority, there seems to be more and more seeking advice and being dx'd with the condition. Hopefully this will be something that keeps happening and we will finally start to get a truer, much clearer idea of just who FM does affect.

As for those who don't believe what you say, altho it really gets to you at first, with time you learn and find ways to deflect such comments and your skin does become thicker. You may also find that you become a little braver too and able to tell them that they are the one with a problem where this is concerned. If not, then just imagine yourself :girl_moon: :girl_moon: :girl_moon: :girl_moon: :girl_moon: at them, then wander away, having a :lol: :lol: :lol: at the looks on their faces because they can't work out what it is that is making you :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: feeling alone being a Man with FM

Postby dobber » Thu May 08, 2014 9:20 am

Hi. Trust me I know how you feel. I'm a man and went/going through the same thing as you. My answer to them..... "I must be getting in touch with my feminate side if that's the case as this thing is real"! Don't let the 'know it all's" get you down. It's not worth it. :nono: :crazy:
BEER the cause of and solution to all of lifes little problems ;-)
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Re: feeling alone being a Man with FM

Postby tonydin » Mon May 12, 2014 6:07 pm

send them over to me and ill give them a punch in the gob :lol: :lol: thats if i can get my arm above me shoulder ;-) ;-) ;-)

seriously its pretty s*** being a man with this as no one belives you , iv been know for back pain for years and every one was ok with that , but the other pains no one wanrts to know , dont blame them really :evil: :evil: :evil:

as for work well you dont want to know what i do :nono: :nono: but i can tell you from experiance the less you do the worse it is ,,,, but do to much and the worse it is so you have to take a middle ground ,, its only pain and ypu cant do damage or make it worse, but pushing through , but paceing yourself while your doing something thatc my experiance others may disagree and that the rub this is differant for everybody

but as i said the less you do the worse you will get been there wasent very nice so im 61 in more pian than ever tireder than ever , yet im now as strong as iv ever been , fitter than i was at 50 and doing as much as i ever have , just slower :lol: :lol: :lol:

men dont get fibro ? ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa :yikes: :yikes: :shock:
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Re: feeling alone being a Man with FM

Postby hoysey » Thu May 15, 2014 10:03 am

to be honest when I joined this board, I was looking through the posts and thinking "it's all women on here", so I've not really posted much, just read.

Glad to see that there are other blokes on here that have to suffer this god awful affliction, only got diagnosed at the end of last year myself after years of various pain. I also know of 2 other blokes that I was in the Army with, who also both have Fibro, so we're not alone :-D
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Re: feeling alone being a Man with FM

Postby tonydin » Fri May 16, 2014 6:51 pm

yep its also belived that gulf war syndrome may actualy be fibromyalgia

you are not ALONE
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Re: feeling alone being a Man with FM

Postby fallingtobits » Sat May 17, 2014 8:47 am

The not being believed thing is a problem for us all. At times I even start to wonder if I'm making it all up myself! Why on earth people think we would make it up is beyond me. I had an active life, loved my job, holidays etc. why would I give that up to pretend I was ill? It doesn't make sense and it makes me angry too.

Of course men can get, I strongly suspect that possibly the numbers are lower because men don't go to their doc as readily as us girls, and just struggle on with it. Maybe buddy up with other men on this forum? It makes you feel better when you know you aren't alone.


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Re: feeling alone being a Man with FM

Postby smig » Mon Jun 02, 2014 3:22 pm

Hello everyone, one more newbie to add to the ever increasing male contingent :-) Been back to the doctors again today with the all over pain, stiffness, brain fog etc. For the first time the doctor says that this could be FM and needless to say this came both as a shock, but also a kind of relief that we have a diagnosis to work with and research about.
It's good to know that you are there and i would like to thank you all in advance for the info on the forum.

I will post in the newbie section, just wanted to add my support here too

Kind regards

Steve :-D
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Re: feeling alone being a Man with FM

Postby jason25 » Tue Jun 03, 2014 3:17 am

another bloke here mate dont worry i had the nhs telling me it was all in my head and i was imagining the pain and they said that to my mother and she belived them and tried to take me to a thearpist or what ever them people that try to get in ur heads are and that was at 23 years of age then and my prick/dad tried to get a healer in to get the demons out of my head........yea that went well when i lost my temper and went into a rage of anger when the pileck touched my back anyway now 26 and she finnally understands that the pain aint imaginary even though she was there when i got diaginosed by a private doctor 2 years ago ....... so point of the story loads of people wont belive u but thats normal they can sod them selfs and go sit a swivel on it thinking of it though im the only guy in the support group i go to that has it and it took some time for them to belive it its a time game really but i tell ya this u be able to tell who ur true friends are after it so thats one good thing i guess
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