Using positivity and not giving in to this condition

All your fibromyalgia experiences, questions and answers.

Moderators: perseus, *Lisa*, FluppyPuffy

Using positivity and not giving in to this condition

Postby Theresa34 » Mon May 05, 2014 7:12 pm

I've made the conscious decision not to let this horrible condition rule my life. I feel that its too easy to allow chronic pain to control our lives. I don't want that. I don't want to end up bed bound or stuck on the sofa staring at the telly/four walls. I want to live. I am taking my pain meds and Amitriptyline plus vitamin D. I still have bad stiffness and pain which the painkillers take the edge off. I have three young kids and a house to run. I cannot wallow in self pity. It doesn't help me or anyone else. I honestly think that a positive attitude can go a long way. I am still young and definitely not ready to throw in the towel just yet :-D Anyone else feel this way?
I am a fibro fighter not a fibro sufferer. I will keep fighting from the minute I get up til the minute I go to bed.
Theresa34
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 776
Joined: Fri Feb 21, 2014 10:44 pm

Re: Using positivity and not giving in to this condition

Postby johnashu » Tue May 06, 2014 12:32 am

im 32 and have had fm for at least 2 years!

it crushed me the change and still does..

positive attitude is definatley what spurs me on.

i find myself saying the ujsual, whats the point, itll prob hurt more if i do.. etc etc

but to get out of that mental state its just kinda mjotivational crack.

come on john, just do it, just get the **** up.. come on, your wasting time, youll regret it.. etc..

and it works!

the thing is, it only seems to work when i say it to myself..

this is because I am the only one who truly understands, therefore i am the best person to motivate myself..

when other people say it, i think they dont understand fully!

learn to motivate or keep motivating yourself.. you may be the only person you will listen to.

well that is what i think.. and ill be honest, it doesnt always work, but a lot of the time it does and a lot of wallowing unnecessarily would have occurred!

I really want to apply the same to playing football, tennis etc but one step at a time!!

im less scared of every movement in case of drastically prolonged pain for example lol
I am a Bi-polatic-Fibromyalgic.. I am Obsessive and Sceptical. I am a right Polymath..

"The only way to be always right, is to change your mind when you are proved wrong. Celebrate your mistakes as knowledge gained"
johnashu
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 77
Joined: Thu May 01, 2014 5:11 pm
Location: Newcastle Upon Tyne

Re: Using positivity and not giving in to this condition

Postby SchroedingersCat » Tue May 06, 2014 8:41 am

Yup. Sheer bloodymindedness all the way. I'm 48, still working full time, and on no meds. As someone on here once said, I have fibro, fibro doesn't have me.
SchroedingersCat
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 435
Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2012 8:11 pm

Re: Using positivity and not giving in to this condition

Postby Theresa34 » Tue May 06, 2014 1:42 pm

Thank you both for the responses x I don't want to sit and moan about how unfair life has been to me. I've already done that. I felt at the time that I went through some kind of grief you know? But something inside me changed and luckily for the better. What's the point in complaining? Does it make me feel any better? No! Will it change anything? Nope! I dont want to be pessimistic. It doesn't help, and it doesn't change anything. This is the hand I have been dealt. I need to get on with it? I don't know if I said in my first post, but I am 34 diagnosed in Feb this year, suffering since last year (diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis last year too). I have three kids, two dogs, a hubby and a house to deal with. And I am thankful for that. Because they all keep me moving forward :-D
I am a fibro fighter not a fibro sufferer. I will keep fighting from the minute I get up til the minute I go to bed.
Theresa34
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 776
Joined: Fri Feb 21, 2014 10:44 pm

Re: Using positivity and not giving in to this condition

Postby johnashu » Tue May 06, 2014 2:14 pm

Theresa34 wrote:Thank you both for the responses x I don't want to sit and moan about how unfair life has been to me. I've already done that. I felt at the time that I went through some kind of grief you know? But something inside me changed and luckily for the better. What's the point in complaining? Does it make me feel any better? No! Will it change anything? Nope! I dont want to be pessimistic. It doesn't help, and it doesn't change anything. This is the hand I have been dealt. I need to get on with it? I don't know if I said in my first post, but I am 34 diagnosed in Feb this year, suffering since last year (diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis last year too). I have three kids, two dogs, a hubby and a house to deal with. And I am thankful for that. Because they all keep me moving forward :-D


i still sometimes cry out in pain.. but i stop bitching about it lol..

i find in me, if say im walking along, ill shake a bit and the terrain in front of my looks like everest lol.. i stop, assess, plan and take it on.. i ind it makes it easier. i suppose it is an example of you control fibro.. i can still think and work out the best and most (eta. i mean least!) painful route.. therefore i am in control! i had to do the same before fibro just with different things..adapting i hope will bring new joys and different challenges.. thats the view, i still get upset etc. and it still annoys me.. but a little less each time! and i used to get annoyed at stupid things like missing the bus because i forgot my scarf i did not need lol
Last edited by johnashu on Wed May 07, 2014 12:47 am, edited 1 time in total.
I am a Bi-polatic-Fibromyalgic.. I am Obsessive and Sceptical. I am a right Polymath..

"The only way to be always right, is to change your mind when you are proved wrong. Celebrate your mistakes as knowledge gained"
johnashu
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 77
Joined: Thu May 01, 2014 5:11 pm
Location: Newcastle Upon Tyne

Re: Using positivity and not giving in to this condition

Postby johnashu » Tue May 06, 2014 2:16 pm

and im sure someone already said this.

never feel bad about having a good moan..

its healthy..

the more you moan the less you moan, because the more you moan, the more you see how little moaning changes things , if anything..

it also gives a bit relief..

you deserve you moan if you need :)
Last edited by johnashu on Wed May 07, 2014 12:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
I am a Bi-polatic-Fibromyalgic.. I am Obsessive and Sceptical. I am a right Polymath..

"The only way to be always right, is to change your mind when you are proved wrong. Celebrate your mistakes as knowledge gained"
johnashu
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 77
Joined: Thu May 01, 2014 5:11 pm
Location: Newcastle Upon Tyne

Re: Using positivity and not giving in to this condition

Postby Theresa34 » Tue May 06, 2014 4:59 pm

Yes, I am still in pain, and ache constantly. I've been working really hard sorting the housework out and the house. I wont go as far as redecorating as that is a lot of repetitive movement when painting and reaching up and down. But I am trying to keep myself busy by catching up on things and sorting things out. I find that I am more stressed around mess. So tidying is in a way therapeutic despite my aches and pains. I used to moan a lot which was annoying hubby a bit and I started to feel that if it was him maybe it would annoy me too lol So now i dont do it as much but when I do, I feel he listens to me more. He also comes to my appointments to the nurse, rheumy and now the physio so he can hear all of whats going on with me without it being a moan etc.

A positive mind cant go wrong, can it? A negative one can make you feel worse. I don't want to be stuck on the sofa or in bed and have my life waste away. I need to move. I suppose its good that I am a stubborn person :lol:
I am a fibro fighter not a fibro sufferer. I will keep fighting from the minute I get up til the minute I go to bed.
Theresa34
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 776
Joined: Fri Feb 21, 2014 10:44 pm

Re: Using positivity and not giving in to this condition

Postby johnashu » Tue May 06, 2014 11:05 pm

Theresa34 wrote:Yes, I am still in pain, and ache constantly. I've been working really hard sorting the housework out and the house. I wont go as far as redecorating as that is a lot of repetitive movement when painting and reaching up and down. But I am trying to keep myself busy by catching up on things and sorting things out. I find that I am more stressed around mess. So tidying is in a way therapeutic despite my aches and pains. I used to moan a lot which was annoying hubby a bit and I started to feel that if it was him maybe it would annoy me too lol So now i dont do it as much but when I do, I feel he listens to me more. He also comes to my appointments to the nurse, rheumy and now the physio so he can hear all of whats going on with me without it being a moan etc.

A positive mind cant go wrong, can it? A negative one can make you feel worse. I don't want to be stuck on the sofa or in bed and have my life waste away. I need to move. I suppose its good that I am a stubborn person :lol:


T%rying to keep on moving, just not so fast or hard is my personal way, and i suppose similar to doing housework..

my fiances mother has arthritis and FM and your coping mechanism re housework is very similar, that is exactly what she says.

as long as you dont suffer afterwards its all gravy, for me anyhoo lol.. try and take note of what you do and how much it affects you, you will hopefully find that not as many things as you thought will affect you./.

with regards to "A positive mind cant go wrong, can it?"

if one forces one to be positive ALL the time, this may lead to problems..

positive thinking cannot create positive circumstance. no matter howe hard you think!

sometimes you just have to endure.

but endurance means you have a positive end in sight.

you waste energy on trying to 'think' positive.

so a positive mind is not such a bad thing but positive thinking is not something that is good to force upon the mind (IMO forcing ANY emotion is not ideal). positive Action is all we can do, such as your housework thing!, that positive action is what will create positive thinking..

i hope that makes sense.. if not. please ignore :)
I am a Bi-polatic-Fibromyalgic.. I am Obsessive and Sceptical. I am a right Polymath..

"The only way to be always right, is to change your mind when you are proved wrong. Celebrate your mistakes as knowledge gained"
johnashu
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 77
Joined: Thu May 01, 2014 5:11 pm
Location: Newcastle Upon Tyne

Re: Using positivity and not giving in to this condition

Postby carolad » Tue May 06, 2014 11:27 pm

I think a positive attitude can be a big help in living with any chronic illness. But I think it is a stage that you have to come to yourself...probably after all the stages of grief, anger, self pity etc..once you come out the other side of all that, you can start to feel more positive about your life. There is nothing worse than someone else saying to you 'it could be worse, there are people worse off than you'!! While we all know that's true, you don't want to hear it when you are going through a bad time yourself - it doesn't help.

But if you can come to this realisation yourself, it does help. If you can try and concentrate on what you can do, rather than what you can't...if you can find pleasure in small things every day, it does help. I saw a quote recently 'The things you take for granted, someone else is praying for'. That's so true :) I may be tired and in pain..but I have food to eat, I have a warm home..I have hundreds of good things in my life and I try not to lose sight of that when I'm having a bad day.

That's not to say I'm positive all the time! I get grumpy and down sometimes...but I try not to let that take over :)
carolad
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 415
Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2014 12:04 am

Re: Using positivity and not giving in to this condition

Postby johnashu » Tue May 06, 2014 11:34 pm

carolad wrote:I think a positive attitude can be a big help in living with any chronic illness. But I think it is a stage that you have to come to yourself...probably after all the stages of grief, anger, self pity etc..once you come out the other side of all that, you can start to feel more positive about your life. There is nothing worse than someone else saying to you 'it could be worse, there are people worse off than you'!! While we all know that's true, you don't want to hear it when you are going through a bad time yourself - it doesn't help.

But if you can come to this realisation yourself, it does help.
If you can try and concentrate on what you can do, rather than what you can't...if you can find pleasure in small things every day, it does help. I saw a quote recently 'The things you take for granted, someone else is praying for'. That's so true :) I may be tired and in pain..but I have food to eat, I have a warm home..I have hundreds of good things in my life and I try not to lose sight of that when I'm having a bad day.

That's not to say I'm positive all the time! I get grumpy and down sometimes...but I try not to let that take over :)


exactly..

everyone gets grumpy and down..

i think youi are right, initially its all yo think about and it take its toll more than it should..

then you kinda say to yourself, or lay out the options which are pretty limited..

the obvious solution, mine and i think yours as well is to just keep on going, adapt and just keep on going, trip up, pick up, adapt and keep on going..

when you start doing that, you realise thats all youve really been doing your whole life lol!!

well with me anyhoo
:)
I am a Bi-polatic-Fibromyalgic.. I am Obsessive and Sceptical. I am a right Polymath..

"The only way to be always right, is to change your mind when you are proved wrong. Celebrate your mistakes as knowledge gained"
johnashu
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 77
Joined: Thu May 01, 2014 5:11 pm
Location: Newcastle Upon Tyne

Re: Using positivity and not giving in to this condition

Postby carolad » Wed May 07, 2014 1:05 am

Yep! That's just what life is...sometimes good stuff, sometimes bad stuff...and it never ever works out the way you think it will!

So accepting your current state and adapting is the key.

And I think most people are fighting some battle that the rest of us know nothing about - whether it's their own or a relative's physical or mental illness, or worrying about money, or dealing with bereavement or infertility or divorce...Life is hard for everyone at times. You just have to find a way to try and make the most of your life and be grateful for the positives :)
carolad
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 415
Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2014 12:04 am

Re: Using positivity and not giving in to this condition

Postby johnashu » Wed May 07, 2014 1:35 am

carolad wrote:Yep! That's just what life is...sometimes good stuff, sometimes bad stuff...and it never ever works out the way you think it will!

So accepting your current state and adapting is the key.

And I think most people are fighting some battle that the rest of us know nothing about - whether it's their own or a relative's physical or mental illness, or worrying about money, or dealing with bereavement or infertility or divorce...Life is hard for everyone at times. You just have to find a way to try and make the most of your life and be grateful for the positives :)


yes :)

all i can say is :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
I am a Bi-polatic-Fibromyalgic.. I am Obsessive and Sceptical. I am a right Polymath..

"The only way to be always right, is to change your mind when you are proved wrong. Celebrate your mistakes as knowledge gained"
johnashu
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 77
Joined: Thu May 01, 2014 5:11 pm
Location: Newcastle Upon Tyne

Re: Using positivity and not giving in to this condition

Postby Theresa34 » Wed May 07, 2014 8:09 pm

carolad wrote:I think a positive attitude can be a big help in living with any chronic illness. But I think it is a stage that you have to come to yourself...probably after all the stages of grief, anger, self pity etc..once you come out the other side of all that, you can start to feel more positive about your life. There is nothing worse than someone else saying to you 'it could be worse, there are people worse off than you'!! While we all know that's true, you don't want to hear it when you are going through a bad time yourself - it doesn't help.

But if you can come to this realisation yourself, it does help. If you can try and concentrate on what you can do, rather than what you can't...if you can find pleasure in small things every day, it does help. I saw a quote recently 'The things you take for granted, someone else is praying for'. That's so true :) I may be tired and in pain..but I have food to eat, I have a warm home..I have hundreds of good things in my life and I try not to lose sight of that when I'm having a bad day.

That's not to say I'm positive all the time! I get grumpy and down sometimes...but I try not to let that take over :)



I've been through the five stages of grief. The fifth one is Acceptance :-D You have a great perspective x I have had a bad day today as I have been working my body to its limit. But I havent felt down about it at all, because I know that these things happen to me now (acceptance) and I will feel better soon albeit not back to 'normal'. I have thought, it could be worse etc. And any time I watch something like Children in Need or a programme about benefits etc. it always makes me thankful for what I DO have. I would like to say that I have my health but...you know? Lol
I am a fibro fighter not a fibro sufferer. I will keep fighting from the minute I get up til the minute I go to bed.
Theresa34
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 776
Joined: Fri Feb 21, 2014 10:44 pm

Re: Using positivity and not giving in to this condition

Postby Theresa34 » Wed May 07, 2014 8:13 pm

John, I wouldn't want anyone to force a positive attitude but I cant see the harm in encouraging it. We cant be positive all the time, but most of the time, maybe? I've been through a lot with the chronic pain as we all have. But I didn't want to let this thing get to me. I found a good saying the other day, I am not fibromyalgia...I am what kicks its butt every morning when I get out of bed :lol:
I am a fibro fighter not a fibro sufferer. I will keep fighting from the minute I get up til the minute I go to bed.
Theresa34
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 776
Joined: Fri Feb 21, 2014 10:44 pm


Return to Living with Fibromyalgia

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 11 guests