Feellng really upset

All your fibromyalgia experiences, questions and answers.

Moderators: perseus, *Lisa*, FluppyPuffy

Feellng really upset

Postby jess0465093 » Wed May 07, 2014 2:05 pm

I am feeling really down and would love advice/experiences.

I gave birth 10 weeks ago, had a really hard time. I lost 3 litres of blood, had to have blood transfusions, I damaged my bladder and my kidneys (still recovering). I don't care though as I gave birth to a big bouncy boy - who I love with all my heart!

What is getting me down is my back. It keeps going and I am getting pain EVERYWHERE. :-( I have oa in spine and knees and its taking its toll. My little boy is a bit of a chunk (weights nearly 14lb now at 10 weeks) and I am having real problems picking him up and playing with him.

Today I just sat and cried when he was asleep, I looked up and he had woken up without me realising. He looked so sad like he did not understand why I was so upset.

I am only 28 and feel like my life is ruined by this condition. Then I feel guilty, my mom always says "Well its not like you have cancer, your not going to die". Really helpful, all it does is make me feel worse and guilty for feeling upset.

My husband is wonderful, he is so supportive - but I worry he is going to get fed up of me being ill. I also worry my baby boy is not going to love me as I cant play with him that much and have to put him down a lot as I am not strong enough to pick him up and cuddle him all the time.

I would love some support ..... I just feel so ill at the moment .... its not fair .....
UKFM Newbie
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue Nov 27, 2012 9:48 am

Re: Feellng really upset

Postby ccat21 » Wed May 07, 2014 3:00 pm

Jess, what a horrible time you have had, please don't worry about your little one as he is to young to remember that you can't play with him at the moment.

You haven't said if your back pain is very new symptom as it could be a urinary or kidney infection causing the pain. If not have you spoken to you health visitor or gp about your back as they could send to for some physiotherapy to help strengthen your core muscle which may help with the back pain. They may be able to refer you to the occupational therapists who can help with aids around the house and tips on how to do things to help your pain.

good luck and remember your not alone.

UKFM Member
Posts: 50
Joined: Tue Sep 18, 2012 2:33 pm

Re: Feellng really upset

Postby painprincess1 » Wed May 07, 2014 8:50 pm

First off get that idea out of your head . Your son will always love his mum . There are lots of ways to play .i have a two yer old so I no how u feel..I have an 18 16 and 13 year old and I've had fibro for years.
Your body has been through a Trauma of giving birth. Ten weeks is nothing. Then u have the life changing event and life I never easy again.
Your also sounding like u have the touch of the baby blues all normals in fact a good cry will do u good.when he is old enough to sit in a bouncy chair u will be able to play with him without picking him up so much. As he gets older let him bath with u on good days me and Lauren have the best fun in bath .bed time is a good time to cuddle up and watch some DVDs again get him to one and he will start likening little things on TV.
Pls don't beat your self up the fact your worrying shows how much u love him.
As for your mum I guess in her own way she's trying to say things could be worse.and most likely she don't want to talk about as it worries her more then she's letting on I no it does my mother.
Be proud of yourself for having a big bouncing boy xxxxx
smiles and the world smiles with you. cry and you cry alone.
UKFM Member
Posts: 867
Joined: Mon Oct 15, 2012 1:38 pm
Location: near london

Re: Feellng really upset

Postby difly » Wed May 07, 2014 11:35 pm

Hi Jess be strong and proud of what you have achieved ,you will gain the strength as the days go by and your little one grows ,you have already shown your love and you say your partner is supportive It sounds like your mother is trying to understand how fibro works although I suppose in her own way she does worry deep down . I have 7 children and 2 grandchildren and at times wonder how I get through each day ,some times i do and sometimes i dont but the main thing is we keep trying to overcome are anxiety and fears Keep strong and take care and as previously mentioned speak with yor health visitor or dr about your concerns you are not alone x diflyxx
UKFM Member
Posts: 177
Joined: Sat Jan 21, 2012 11:04 pm

Re: Feellng really upset

Postby whoami » Thu May 08, 2014 3:16 am

Jess, try and relax luv, you are getting yourself worked up over things that are likely to never happen. Marriages do survive fibro. I was married 6 months and was put on a totally 100% disability. That was 25 years ago.

I understand how you feel about holding your little one. I have issues holding my grandchildren. You will learn what way you are comfortable. Always sit down with him and use pillows to help support him and take the pressure of your back and shoulders.

Even if you can just hold his hands and talk or sing to him he will feel your love. I use to lay the babies on a pillow across my legs and rub their backs, bumper or bellies. If you can get one of those big nursing pillows, rather in the shape of a Chair they can be used many ways.

Jess, I can relate to your OA. I have it in 90% of my body. I use Arnica gel, it smells but it helps.
Talk to your Dr about your pain. Did you have an epidural? I have heard that they can cause backnpain.

Your mum was likely trying to help with her comment but it doesn't help when you are suffering.

Jess, if you can try to be easier on yourself. Your son and hubby love you and you love them. Things do get easier, it takes a while but they do. Remember, you have just had a baby. People without illness are tired and sore but you have added issue. Relax as much as you can and ask for help. Xx

Expect the worst in life you won't be disapointed and you'll be prepared!
UKFM Regular
Posts: 1537
Joined: Wed Jan 23, 2013 9:22 pm
Location: Ontario, Canada

Re: Feellng really upset

Postby denys » Thu May 08, 2014 10:41 pm

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: congratulations on your baby boy, the other posters are right he is always going to love his mum and he wont know any different while he's little. As long as he gets your attention and loads of cuddles then keep play to gentle things.

You have had a hard time giving birth and its early days yet, give yourself time to recover :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.
User avatar
UKFM Veteran
Posts: 11901
Joined: Tue Feb 09, 2010 10:05 pm

Return to Living with Fibromyalgia

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 9 guests