Sick and tired!

All your fibromyalgia experiences, questions and answers.

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Re: Sick and tired!

Postby SchroedingersCat » Thu May 29, 2014 3:08 pm

*sigh* Zoomie, I've not said you should try harder, how do I know what your life is like? - all I pointed out was, the constant gloom of negativity that surrounds so many fibro sufferers can be very wearing for those of us who DO live a fairly normal life, in the same way as us going on about how positive we are and what we can do grinds down those who can't. I've been shot down in the past for commenting that what keeps me going is bloodymindedness, because apparently that is being mean to other people who do have rely on meds, are housebound, etc etc, and oh look, it's happening again.....
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Re: Sick and tired!

Postby zoomie » Thu May 29, 2014 3:09 pm

[quote="SchroedingersCat"The only reason I am not flat out in bed is because I refuse to let my body dictate to my mind what I can and cannot do. If that offends people, then I'm really sorry.[/quote]

This is exactly the type of comment I'm referring to, you refuse to let your body dictate to you, what about when your body can't? This type of content makes me feel like s***! I understand the ignorance that comes from people that do not know about this horrible illness, but coming from people that should know better is hurtful.

Theresa, your being able to live normally, or work or whatever doesn't offend me, I worked with fms for 17 years, before most of you had even heard of it! I truly hope your fans doesn't progress as mine has, honestly I do.
Fibromyalgia comes in many shapes, sizes and abilities... DON'T DISCRIMINATE!!!!
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Re: Sick and tired!

Postby Theresa34 » Thu May 29, 2014 3:23 pm

Zoomie you're taking these comments too personally. I know we can all be pretty sensitive when we are in pain or feeling like crap. My fuse is a lot shorter when I am in pain. Please stop stressing because no doubt, you're going to feel a heck of a lot worse for it. Me and Shro are not being ignorant in the least! Fellow fibro mites should feel happy that there is light where there is all darkness! It isnt all gloom and doom. We are trying to say that there is a life out there and your fate isnt sealed. There are ways to feel better. Ok, what works for one wont work for another etc. We will all find out what works for us in the end.
I am a fibro fighter not a fibro sufferer. I will keep fighting from the minute I get up til the minute I go to bed.
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Re: Sick and tired!

Postby SchroedingersCat » Thu May 29, 2014 3:30 pm

I've reached the point where I just can't a few times. At that point I weigh up whether it's worth the effort to break myself doing it or not.

Monday night I was stuck in the mud in a field with a trailer and a 130 mile drive home ahead of me. At that point, it was a choice between sit there in a cold car till I felt better, but there might not be anyone available with a 4X4 to tow me off site, or just get on with it. I set off home, shaking, shivering, having an anxiety attack, and in so much pain I thought my leg might fall off every time I changed gear. About 50 miles into the journey, things got a little better, and I got home. Spent most of Tuesday lying around doing very little, and then came back to work yesterday. I feel like utter yuck, and I don't know if I will make it in tomorrow as I don't like my job that much and I reckon me having 1 day off sick in 12 months won't kill the business.

So my answer is - when I reach the point when my body just won't, I make decision whether or not to try, and every time I have tried, I've succeeded. I have pushed my limits back and back so much over the last 3 months, I'm doing things I thought were impossible a year ago. The pain is worse, but the fatigue is lessening and I can do more.

I've said here many many times, I have NO other medical conditions apart from the FM, and I was very fit and healthy up to the point when it hit me hard in 2011, so I started off with all the advantages, and maybe, just maybe, I'm not as ill as I thought I was and I can beat FM - the rheumatologist told me in 2012 that it IS possible.
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Re: Sick and tired!

Postby Theresa34 » Thu May 29, 2014 3:35 pm

My nurse told me and hubby that fm can go away. I don't know for sure but I know I'm not going to sit here and take everything it tries to give me. My life isnt perfect. But you've got to make the best out of what you have. I'm not sure there is much more I can say on the subject. Hugs to everyone x
I am a fibro fighter not a fibro sufferer. I will keep fighting from the minute I get up til the minute I go to bed.
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Re: Sick and tired!

Postby Jeany » Thu May 29, 2014 4:07 pm

I can see both sides of this arguement, and think that yes being positive is brilliant and does help some people, BUT like zoomie says not everyone is the same and no matter how positive some people are it will not help them.

People DO have a right to their own opinions of course, but I really must agree with zoomie that certain people are STILL trying to ram it down her bloody throat that so and so beat cancer and so and so did this and our family are bloody marvelous.

FFS give people some respect and appreciate that we are ALL different and that people get VERY UPSET by other peoples self righteous bloody attitudes, and sometime the least said the better especially when someone is quite obviously upset, and very very ill.

You cannot expect people to just take this attitude of YOU know best and what is good and achievable for someone else when the fact is that even medical professional do not know. SO get down off your orange boxes and think before you condemn someone for giving up and being a lazy bast..d when they are not.

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Re: Sick and tired!

Postby SchroedingersCat » Thu May 29, 2014 4:12 pm

The point is, as everyone keeps on saying, FM is different for everyone. Why should I not post things I have been able to achieve that I thought I could not? Does that not give hope to others that they might eventually work back towards doing things they used to do? Does Hope have to wear sackcloth and ashes, or a pair of glittery wings and float about like Tinkerbell, can it not just be a simple statement of 'I have done this, perhaps you may be able to as well'? Or is it the case that if I am well enough to do these things, I am simply not ill enough to be welcome here, hmm?
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Re: Sick and tired!

Postby ladybeck66 » Thu May 29, 2014 4:29 pm

Oh dear, everyones story is so totally different. I am like zoomie. I have lived with this condition since 1992 it was brought about by a lower back injury and a flu virus.

In the beginning I coped, walked, danced, ran, did loads of stuff. Now I have pain everywhere, constant chronic disabling pain. I suffer with depression, ibs, arthritis, high blood pressure, anemia (both) and other things.

I have always tried to give out the Positive attitude with my friends and family but it is so hard.....I sometimes want to die...what is the point of living this kind of life.....this happens frequently.

Then my husband died (he looked after me for years and I earned the money, only 16 hours but it helped) 3 years ago, last June my mum died of cancer (a shock) 6 months after that her sister (my aunt, we were very close) died of the same cancer and last week my cousin (daugher to my aunt, again we were close) died. So ive has some crap in my life over the last 3 years!!

In march I was retired by me employers on the grounds of ill health, so now i have hardly anyone and no job. Don't be sad though because I am now free to feel as crap as I want whenever I want and if I want to throw myself off a building I can do that......I WON'T.

Why?? Because I am going to live in the sun. I need to get out of this weather....cold, wet, grey and awful, this makes me worse. I am now focused on my future because I do have one.

I get frustrated with those comments equally and I know this will never go away but over the years it has become worse and worse. I agree that it you had the kind of pain I have daily you'd be crawling up the walls (to compare the pain, I have had kidney pain and labour pain) this pain hurts like hell but it just never goes away and THAT is the thing I don't cope with.

So I agree that some comments can make me feel lousy and I would like to say that sometimes venting on here could be helpful, it would be good to hear other peoples woes and not the ones where everyone is trying their best and having lots of PMA.....hope this helps ha ha ha ..... its helped me today. much love to all my fellow sufferes and hope you aren't suffering too much today
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Re: Sick and tired!

Postby trigger » Thu May 29, 2014 4:43 pm

Hi everyone i have suffered for the last 20yrs i have 3 grown up children and i have worked on and of the longest time was 5 years. I did not know i had fibro until 2013. i got pushed from pillar to post. as i have got older 49 now my body is not recovering as quick as it used to be my fibro is on and of on a daily basic when i have the energy i will go out and do as much as i can some day i will through the towel i have had to fight through the pain as there was no one to help but now it my turn to have someone look after me i am very lucky and my family understand but at the end of the you can only do what your body allows you and no more so having a go at people is not going to help just stress you out more sending you all a hug :-? :-?
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Re: Sick and tired!

Postby Theresa34 » Thu May 29, 2014 5:02 pm

Jeany wrote:I can see both sides of this arguement, and think that yes being positive is brilliant and does help some people, BUT like zoomie says not everyone is the same and no matter how positive some people are it will not help them.

People DO have a right to their own opinions of course, but I really must agree with zoomie that certain people are STILL trying to ram it down her bloody throat that so and so beat cancer and so and so did this and our family are bloody marvelous.

FFS give people some respect and appreciate that we are ALL different and that people get VERY UPSET by other peoples self righteous bloody attitudes, and sometime the least said the better especially when someone is quite obviously upset, and very very ill.

You cannot expect people to just take this attitude of YOU know best and what is good and achievable for someone else when the fact is that even medical professional do not know. SO get down off your orange boxes and think before you condemn someone for giving up and being a lazy bast..d when they are not.

Jeany


Jeany grow up! I get sick of people whingeing and being negative and Some of you get sick of us positive people. But we say one thing against you neg people and we are the bad ones. If you want to live a life of negativity and worthlessness then go for it. It's clearly helping you a lot :roll:
I am a fibro fighter not a fibro sufferer. I will keep fighting from the minute I get up til the minute I go to bed.
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Re: Sick and tired!

Postby Theresa34 » Thu May 29, 2014 5:03 pm

SchroedingersCat wrote:The point is, as everyone keeps on saying, FM is different for everyone. Why should I not post things I have been able to achieve that I thought I could not? Does that not give hope to others that they might eventually work back towards doing things they used to do? Does Hope have to wear sackcloth and ashes, or a pair of glittery wings and float about like Tinkerbell, can it not just be a simple statement of 'I have done this, perhaps you may be able to as well'? Or is it the case that if I am well enough to do these things, I am simply not ill enough to be welcome here, hmm?


I think they prefer to be miserable, Shroe.
I am a fibro fighter not a fibro sufferer. I will keep fighting from the minute I get up til the minute I go to bed.
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Re: Sick and tired!

Postby FluppyPuffy » Thu May 29, 2014 5:10 pm

Oh Dear :( :( :( I had hoped, after the last time there was a topic about frustrations over the tone/atmosphere on the forum, that things had started to settle down a little :( :( :( :(

Pretty much anything can be discussed on here, be it positive or negative, good, bad, ugly or concerning time, space, and reality. All that needs to be considered is that the Basic Rules For Membership will not be contravened.

Some subjects can be more emotive than others, so will bring about a variety of responses, some of which may well disagree with what others have posted. This is fine, in fact it's more than fine as it shows, even tho we may feel/believe that chunks of ourselves have been lost in the cruddiness that FM throws at us, that the essence of who we are is still present. If not, we would all be agreeing with everything and anything that is said, meaning that FM has won that particular battle and stripped us of what makes us who we are.

It isn't compulsory to reply to, or even read all what is posted. If there is something that may stir up strong thoughts, feelings and emotions, rather than just going straight in with a :shooting: :shooting: :shooting: sort of reply, maybe give it a while before posting a reply. A bit of break, then coming back at a later point can help sort out what needs to be said, as well as being able to get the point across in a calmer, reasoned, yet still effective way.

If these thoughts and feelings and emotions are still present when coming back to a topic, and what still comes to mind is a :shooting: :shooting: :shooting: sort of response, then maybe it is a topic that might be better left without a response at that particular time, or even left unread, depending on how much of a response is stirred up. Having been on the end of such comments when trying to moderate, I am aware of just how much can be stirred up.

Whilst we are very different in how FM affects us, we do seem to share a number of traits. One of these such traits seems to involves a somewhat heightened sensitive side, which can often cause/contribute to these much more intense thoughts, feelings and responses. Whether this is how someone has been for as long as they can recall, or has come about since FM has been a part of things, being a little more mindful of how things can be interpreted, esp when posting when emotions are at their most intense, can make such a difference to how a topic can turn out.

Positivity can and does help when dealing with life in general, not just living with FM. At times tho, when things seem like they're constantly in the loo, hearing about positivity can be really grinding and wearing. And before someone jumps in with it, the exact same situation can arise when someone is bubbling with positivity, hearing about negativity can have the same effects.

There is absolutely no reason why anyone shouldn't post about something they have done or achieved, or about something that is making them feel down.

No matter how we are affected, and to what degree by FM and/or its associated problems and conditions, no matter what approach we each use in managing and living our lives with this condition factored in to the mix, or what opinions we may hold about what others think, we all share this condition and should be supporting each other. There is already far too much :too-upset: :too-upset: :pull-hair: :pull-hair: :scream-1: :scream-1: caused by the way the condition is derided by those who can't, won't, and don't want to acknowledge that something like FM exists without turning on ourselves too.
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.

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Re: Sick and tired!

Postby neferhapi » Thu May 29, 2014 5:16 pm

It would be nice if there was a definitive way to cope with fibro, but as we are all different and have different symptoms , there isn't. I am very lucky I have a fairly mild case of fibro but my symptoms can vary week to week. Last week I could manage going to the gym every day and not taking pain killers (yes I am one of those people still well enough to do Pilates) so i was feeling very positive and thinking how my exercise was helping etc etc. This week I feel like I have been beaten up and then dragged behind a car for a couple of miles, it has taken 30 minutes to type this through the fog, I feel depressed, lonely and want to cry all time....so guess what.... I am going to spend the evening in bed watching kids films and having a good cry and I am not going to feel bad about it!!!
Zoomie is right when you are feeling down you don't want people telling you that you need to do more, be more positive etc what we need to accept is that sometimes we are allowed to feel down. Some of us are not physically able to do anymore than they are doing and they are struggling to do that, we should only measure ourselves against ourselves and we should remember that as well as being kind to others we also need to be kind to ourselves. We need to acknowledge our bodies, their limitations and our emotions. As Zoomie said she is normally a positive person, we all try to be positive, but we all also know how it feels to hit the bottom, so when someone is having trouble coping and needs a bit of support think about how you felt when you were at that point.
None of us asked for this, and all of us are doing our best at the time, no one is giving in, but everybodys physical limitations are different (which is why not all of us become ballerinas)
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Re: Sick and tired!

Postby Theresa34 » Thu May 29, 2014 5:30 pm

I think we all have to accept what I said earlier and what fluppy reiterated. Positive people grind on negative people and vice versa. Saying that one persons illness is worse than a others isnt a good debate as we are all different. Some of us only have fibro and some of us have other conditions. Some people have had this for years and others not for long, like me. We also will all have other stresses in life ie finances, children, friends, doctors etc. I'm still learning to let negativity bounce off me, so sometimes it creeps in when neg things are said to me. This happened the other week but not on here. My symptoms actually got worse for those few days which proved the point I was trying to make here and to myself. I am back to positive now :-D We are all fighters in our own right. But we also are individuals with our own opinions. Nobody should be shot down for an opinion. How boring if everyone all agreed!
I am a fibro fighter not a fibro sufferer. I will keep fighting from the minute I get up til the minute I go to bed.
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Re: Sick and tired!

Postby Jeany » Thu May 29, 2014 5:35 pm

Did I mention you Teresa NO so why have a go at me. I do not need to grow up nor do I need the opinion of bigots who think they always know better. Your the childish one who is pinpointing and naming people on this site.

I was sticking up for someone who was upset and I make no apologies for that. You need to grow up because you can't string a sentence together without referring to Shroe.

Now I have much more important things to occupy me thank you very much, so no need to reply because I will not be reading remarks that are better off left in the play ground.
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