Positives & Negatives

All your fibromyalgia experiences, questions and answers.

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Positives & Negatives

Postby Jeany » Thu May 29, 2014 6:46 pm

I have found this site very useful as I am sure a lot of my fibro friends on here have also.

It gives sufferers the chance to support and discuss topics that others without fibro and other linked illnesses would not understand, and I have been given that support, and also stretched out a much needed hand to others who have desperately needed a friend who will listen and not judge.

I have been ill for a long time now, and I continued for years to lead a full life, which included working, bringing up a disabled child single handed, and walking 40 miles a week, so I am in a position after all these years of being a sufferer at one end of the scale, and then going to the other end of the scale to share my experience and knowledge with a hope that along the way it will be of some help to fellow sufferers.

I had a good but very stressful job, which became too much for me 2 years ago, and I was dismissed from my position, because doctors advised I was unfit to carry on any longer. Basically my mind & body were worn out, and I had a complete breakdown. Eventually I was diagnosed with CFS/ME and fibro amongst other conditions, and I HATE what has happened to me, BUT i also have the knowledge now to realise I cannot do what I once did without a second thought. The active, constantly on the go person who used to love cleaning the house from top to bottom and then go to the gym, as at this time gone into decline and needs to listen to her body and mind as to what she is capable of, and be kind to herself. I know that person is still there and with good care will hopefully make some sort of recovery.

That does not mean I have given up, nor does it mean I am lazy or a moaner. I know my body like no one else, and the same applies to others who have these illnesses. Some of us who have years of experience of course understand a lot more than others who are new to this.

The problem with sites like this is that sometimes things are said without a great deal of thought, and at times it seems like a competition as to who is right or wrong.

There is no competition, and we all have to go at our own pace and learn what is right for our own needs at any one time. Newbies and ignorant people may think that pushing on through the pain is the way forward, while others with more experience actually know that it the very WORST thing that you could do, and will cause a crash and can make you very very ill indeed.

I think it is a shame that some members end up arguing and upsetting each other, and I can quite understand why some members leave or are thinking of leaving, because there are times when I wonder if some people actually enjoy a fight or have been on the cooking sherry before they reply to a post.

I myself am getting very close to coming off this site, as I can't be bothered wasting the little energy I have on pointless bickering, or to let people who are of no importance to me at all make personal remarks about me. I would miss my friends on here though.

I rest my case.

Jeany x x x
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Re: Positives & Negatives

Postby FluppyPuffy » Thu May 29, 2014 9:32 pm

Jeany, I appreciate that, no matter how many requests you may may get not to go, choosing whether to stay with us as your FibroFamily or deciding to find another is entirely your choice. If you do decide to see if a different cyber~haven is more suitable for you, please try to bear in mind that there can be huge differences in the way each forum is operated.

Whilst there has been some upset and frustration on here today, on other similar types of forums, these things can and do happen much more frequently. And when they do kick~off, these arguments can just left to run and run until members eventually stop posting on them.

When someone, esp a newbie, asks what is deemed to be a basic or repetitious question, there can be some rather terse replies made, alluding to the fact that the OP of the question clearly hasn't read all the necessary topics/boards before posting. If they had done that, they would know that there is a topic/board where such questions have already been posted and answered, so that the boards don't have to be cluttered up with people asking the same thing over and over again.

There are many, many others ways that forums differ in how they operate, with posts needing approval before being allowed to go live on a board, and not being able to access parts or being unable to make or include certain things {such as a linky} until a specified number of acceptable posts have been made.

These are just a few things that I have comes across from various places I have visited along the way to finding my way here.
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Re: Positives & Negatives

Postby denys » Thu May 29, 2014 10:22 pm

Jeany we try to run a fair forum here but as Flup has said sometimes things get a little out of hand quickly a bit like a forest fire. Sometimes experience is the only way people find out the way that is right for them and how to deal with their condition/s. I hope you stay and continue to post and please be sure if you feel anyone is making a personal attack towards you, you can approach any of the moderator team and we will deal with it fairly and swiftly
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Re: Positives & Negatives

Postby Jeany » Fri May 30, 2014 4:09 am

Thank you Debts that is very much appreciated.

I have developed quite a thick skin over the years to the ignorance and rudeness from other people who are very small minded and have nothing better to do with their time than be a nuisance to already vulnerable people and I usually treat them with the contempt that they deserve.

It does upset me though when I see a fellow member is getting attacked and ganged up on, and when the attackers must be just out to upset someone for the he'll of it. THEN my back is up, and I make no apologies for defending another member who is struggling.

Rest assured I will not be leaving Debts nor will I be kept quiet when at times it takes a GROWN UP to speak up for others against BULLIES.

Many thanks to my friends on here for your support we must stick together,because it is just the odd few who try to spoil things on here, please excuse any errors because the predictive text does tend to put in some very bazaar words.

A big CHEER to the lovely friends of mine on here x x x
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Re: Positives & Negatives

Postby SchroedingersCat » Fri May 30, 2014 9:49 am

Jeany wrote:There is no competition, and we all have to go at our own pace and learn what is right for our own needs at any one time. Newbies and ignorant people may think that pushing on through the pain is the way forward, while others with more experience actually know that it the very WORST thing that you could do, and will cause a crash and can make you very very ill indeed.


Just out of interest, what constitutes a newbie?
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Re: Positives & Negatives

Postby Theresa34 » Fri May 30, 2014 9:52 am

I'm sorry but the member you speak of was not being ganged up on. I don't know why you would think that. If anyone was being attacked it was me and another member on here. I think it should be ok for a positive member to try to help someone who is feeling low. It just seems that this place is ok for moaning but not for anyone trying to help the situation. Its a shame that both sets of people cant share a board.
I am a fibro fighter not a fibro sufferer. I will keep fighting from the minute I get up til the minute I go to bed.
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Re: Positives & Negatives

Postby FluppyPuffy » Fri May 30, 2014 10:36 am

SchroedingersCat wrote:
Jeany wrote:There is no competition, and we all have to go at our own pace and learn what is right for our own needs at any one time. Newbies and ignorant people may think that pushing on through the pain is the way forward, while others with more experience actually know that it the very WORST thing that you could do, and will cause a crash and can make you very very ill indeed.


Just out of interest, what constitutes a newbie?

According to various dictionary sources, a newbie is defined as:~
An inexperienced newcomer to an activity, esp in computing or on the internet.


From seemingly having drawn a line under things, it would appear that it was either very blurry or in the wrong place for some.

Usually on here pretty much all of us get along well, views and opinions are shared and when they differ, they are discussed without the worry of someone jumping down another's throat or resorting to mud slinging. And when things do become somewhat heated, they tend to be cooled back down pretty quickly.

In this case, for Dogs~nose why, things aren't being left to settle down. Quotes to show what has been said and by whom could be pulled up, but doing so is draining and tbh there are other ways to utilise what little reserves, and limited time people have/are able to spend online.

To someone coming across this topic for the first time, the provocative style of posting behaviour, under Rule 5 of the Basic Rules For Membership could easily be construed Trolling, Flaming and Spamming.
Artisan wrote: 5. Sometimes, arguments and heated debates do occur, but please try and keep these off-forum wherever possible. We do not allow trolling… saying things to provoke another member, flaming… saying anything derogatory about another member, or spamming… posting something just to boost the post count on your thread or posting irrelevant comments on a thread.

If this was reported, even tho Chances have been given for this behaviour to calm down, resulting in one topic having to be locked, with this behaviour persisting, as Moderators we would have no option but to take appropriate steps to return the forum to its more usual, more harmonious state.
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Re: Positives & Negatives

Postby SchroedingersCat » Fri May 30, 2014 10:43 am

I'm not being funny, Flup, I genuinely want to know what a newbie to FM is. I know what a newbie is generally, but I don't understand the concept in terms of FM.

Sorry, edited to clarify: are you a newbie if you've only been diagnosed for say, a year? Or if you've only been suffering the symptoms for that long?
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Re: Positives & Negatives

Postby zoomie » Fri May 30, 2014 11:13 am

Keanu, I'm really sorry if my post yesterday caused you offence or upset, it certainly wasn't ment too. I was just very frustrated :cry: Sending you a gentle hug of friendship today. xx
Fibromyalgia comes in many shapes, sizes and abilities... DON'T DISCRIMINATE!!!!
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Re: Positives & Negatives

Postby Theresa34 » Fri May 30, 2014 11:14 am

This is an article I read which is more or less where I am coming from x

http://tinyurl.com/m7s4js6
I am a fibro fighter not a fibro sufferer. I will keep fighting from the minute I get up til the minute I go to bed.
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Re: Positives & Negatives

Postby zoomie » Fri May 30, 2014 11:15 am

Jeany* sorry-darn auto spell!
Fibromyalgia comes in many shapes, sizes and abilities... DON'T DISCRIMINATE!!!!
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Re: Positives & Negatives

Postby Jeany » Fri May 30, 2014 11:41 am

Zoomie you caused me no offence at all my love in fact I could tell that you were upset and that upset me.

I am going to be the bigger person here and resist getting drawn in again, and posting anymore replies on this occasion.

As for predictive text it is very hit and miss as you will see from my post in response to Denys who had a sudden name change to Debt ha ha

You take care x x

Oh and have a lovely pain free weekend my fibro friends on this site x x
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Re: Positives & Negatives

Postby zoomie » Fri May 30, 2014 11:50 am

Jeany - :-P thank you lovely xx my lovely man has just got back with all his children.... 7 children (3 are mine) make a lot of noise ;)
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Re: Positives & Negatives

Postby denys » Fri May 30, 2014 9:46 pm

Topic locked lets all start again
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