can't escape

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can't escape

Postby animeemo3 » Tue Jun 10, 2014 3:20 pm

Hi, this is starting to be like a little blog for me, where I write what I need to express to people who don't really care lol even though it doesn't interest many people, i still feel like I need to say it to somebody (can't say it to anyone around me) before all these thoughts and feelings make me burst.

Anyway
Having a really bad time these past few months. Pain levels rocketing, mental health plummeting, losing the will for everything.
Can't get out, too painful. Don't want to stay in, too stir crazy. Can't sleep, bad thoughts. Can't stay awake, too tired. Can't eat properly because of my throat, get hypoglycemic and feel even worse. Not enough pills to help but can't take anymore than I already am. Don't have friends to talk to but scared of the thought of speaking to people.

Just want some semblance of peace but it seems like it's way out of reach.

Tried cutting down on my meds (gently) few weeks ago. Big mistake. From.that point, I have been in one huge flare that hasn't subsided even when I resumed the meds at the same dosages as before.

Went to my doctor who didn't really bother when I told her about all of this and the fact I have extremely intrusive thought. Just waved it off. Can't change doctors because I've already seen the other doctors and they've already told me i cant possibly be telling the truth, I'm too young for all these problems. No other surgeries near me and no transport to get to any others.

Besides overdosing or self harming, how can I get them to take me seriously? I have already written a 3 page letter to my doctor explaining all this in detail and nothing happened. Just said it was depression and that was it. No further course of action, my 10 minutes were up and it was the next patients turn.

Have an mri scan of my throat next week and I'm terrified of that too. Just feel like I'm trapped inside my own head with all these terrible thought and feelings and I'm screaming in agony and no one believes me
Sorry for ranting, need to get it out
Last edited by FluppyPuffy on Tue Jun 10, 2014 8:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Made paragraphs clearer for easier reading.
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Re: can't escape

Postby redhead » Tue Jun 10, 2014 4:00 pm

You are not alone love ive been feeling the same as you and not worked for over a year now, the pain just seems to be getting worse and worse I'm knackered stressed constant head jaw shoulders back ache etc and the tramodol not really touching it, I'm spending most of my life led in bed to relieve the pain it's all I can do to chuck some frozen food in the oven for my son I often wish it was all over but my son needs me and mum needs me as dad is dying of cancer I to feel like a prisoner with no one to talk to so let's talk to each other, people who don't suffer just don't understand, it's not really their fault x I find relaxation techniques help when the pain and stress levels are really high x
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Re: can't escape

Postby denys » Tue Jun 10, 2014 4:01 pm

hi I'm so sorry you are having such a horrible time at the moment, you may have to wait a little for your meds to start to work again as some may leave the system faster than others and it will all depend on how long you have been off them :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: Have you got a contact in the Mental Health Team :?: :?: :?: :?:

If not maybe you should ask your doc for an urgent referral, please try not to self harm or overdose, people do care its just you are a little to far down that dark road to see. Would you consider phoning the Samaritans maybe they can help if your doc wont :?: :?: :?: :?: :?:
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Re: can't escape

Postby shithappens » Tue Jun 10, 2014 7:55 pm

Hi all x x

I'm so sorry to hear tht your having a rough time :-( Has this website got a chat room? Just thought it would be a good ay that when the days come that you cant get out at least there wold be somewhere that we could all chat.

Hoping/wishing you all feel better x x
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Re: can't escape

Postby FluppyPuffy » Tue Jun 10, 2014 8:34 pm

s******* wrote:Hi all x x

I'm so sorry to hear tht your having a rough time :-( Has this website got a chat room? Just thought it would be a good ay that when the days come that you cant get out at least there wold be somewhere that we could all chat.

Hoping/wishing you all feel better x x

The question about a chat room has come up a few times over the years. From what I can recall, things like compatibility issues with setting one up, not having enough people to moderate one, and a general lack of interest/replies from others when the idea has been put forward have played a part. If you fancy doing a quick search, as well as telling you when the idea has come up, it will also give you more details about the potential problems behind the previous mentions.
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Re: can't escape

Postby FluppyPuffy » Tue Jun 10, 2014 8:54 pm

animeemo3 wrote:Hi, this is starting to be like a little blog for me, where I write what I need to express to people who don't really care lol even though it doesn't interest many people,

What makes you think think that people on here don't care or aren't interested??? Looking thru your previous posts, there have been a good number of replies to them, with people offering support, advice and suggestions where possible. You're definitely not alone with this, and a good number have been in the very dark places and recesses of their minds too, so understand the effect it can have when it seems like there isn't any hope left.

I really don't know what else to suggest that might be of help to you. It seems like we've exhausted all the usual sorts of suggestions and ideas for when someone asks about a similar situation. I could only had a brief looky thru things, but even fairy_dust fairy_dust fairy_dust hasn't helped anything appear :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: Sorry :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
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Re: can't escape

Postby shithappens » Tue Jun 10, 2014 9:41 pm

To FluppyPuffy

''The question about a chat room has come up a few times over the years. From what I can recall, things like compatibility issues with setting one up, not having enough people to moderate one, and a general lack of interest/replies from others when the idea has been put forward have played a part. If you fancy doing a quick search, as well as telling you when the idea has come up, it will also give you more details about the potential problems behind the previous mentions.''

The way I read the above is that maybe you have taken my post as a 'knock' to this website? My question about a chat room was because I wasn't aware if there was one. I really don't feel the need to a quick search..as I have said it was an not a moan that there wasn't one.

Apologises if the comment was taken the wrong way it wasn't intended.
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Re: can't escape

Postby FluppyPuffy » Tue Jun 10, 2014 10:31 pm

I haven't taken it as a knock to the site at all, or that you were having a moan, and my reply wasn't meant to suggest that I had. The questions about there being a chat room on here, and/or if one could be set up come up periodically. When replying to these, I would usually include linkys to the most recent topics on the subject, which takes time to do. Recently tho, I have found I have to limit the amount of time I can spend online in one go to a matter of a few minutes. If not, a migraine is triggered off which can affect me for a number of days.

Due to this limited time, an answer like I would post previously just isn't possible, so I tried to make my response as detailed as possible, whilst keeping it as short as I can to minimise what might happen migraine~wise. That's why a few examples of why a chat room hasn't been set before are included, as well as the suggestion about using the Search function if more details/info is wanted.
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Re: can't escape

Postby Lindilou » Wed Jun 11, 2014 7:02 am

[quote="animeemo3"]Hi, this is starting to be like a little blog for me, where I write what I need to express to people who don't really care lol even though it doesn't interest many people, i still feel like I need to say it to somebody (can't say it to anyone around me) before all these thoughts and feelings make me burst.

"What I need to express to people who don't really care" as you put it. Is that what you really think animeemo3 :?:
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Re: can't escape

Postby shithappens » Wed Jun 11, 2014 9:28 pm

Unfortunately, I don't like the way these comments are going, in this case I think I will find support from somewhere else, life is to short ..... feels like playground tactics.

Wish you all well.
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Re: can't escape

Postby FluppyPuffy » Wed Jun 11, 2014 11:17 pm

s******* wrote:Unfortunately, I don't like the way these comments are going, in this case I think I will find support from somewhere else, life is to short ..... feels like playground tactics.

Wish you all well.

I'm a bit confuzzled with things now :-? :-? What is it about the comments that has suggested "playground tactics"??? When someone makes a comment along the lines of people not caring or many not being interested in what they say, the first question asked by anyone who reads it is going to be what is it that makes the OP think that others may not care or be interested, which is what has happened here. If the question isn't asked, and the OP hasn't made any references to this in previous topics, then how can a potential problem be looked into when it isn't known about??? The reference I made to having a quick look thru previous posts, and the sorts of replies that they have rec'd was to show that interest and support was and is there whenever the OP needs it.

As for not being able to come up with a helpful suggestion on this occasion, well I apologised for that even tho it wasn't necessary. And being aware of some of the suggestions that have been made previously, repeating them again wouldn't be helpful in this instance.

I hope you find somewhere that can offer you the support you are looking for, as clearly we haven't been able to do so unfortunately :( :( :( :( If we had, then maybe it could have helped with how this topic has come across.
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Re: can't escape

Postby denys » Thu Jun 12, 2014 4:39 pm

Very confused as to the reason for the post by s*****ppens in reply to Fluppypuffy's what on earth was seen in her (FP's) (from what I can see) very helpful pleasant post to cause someone to claim Unfortunately, I don't like the way these comments are going, in this case I think I will find support from somewhere else, life is to short ..... feels like playground tactics.

I find this completely bizarre as the member who is the least likely to 'play games' is Fluppy :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
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Re: can't escape

Postby Debs1967 » Fri Jun 13, 2014 8:33 am

Hey there Animemo3, hope I got your name correct? :-o

I feel your pain and hear your frustration. :hugs:

All your comments ring true for many of us that suffer this debilitating (for some) condition.
I'm afraid that the written word can sometime sound un empathetic. But I'm sure I speak for most of us when I say, we do understand and although we haven't met, we do all care.

I was diagnosed in 2009, after a lengthy and often suicidal few years.
Since that date a number of operations and numerous scans later, my condition is slowly deteriorating .
But I'm still here, plodding away, going to the doctor when symptoms get worse or change.

What you may think has kept me going ? Indeed I often wonder this myself.
The greatest hurdle for me was accepting I was ill and that there was little other than trying to treat the symptoms that can be done, for me or any other that suffers chronic illness. I constantly have to work on accepting it.
Next, I take it one day at a time another on going challenge.
I try to focus on things that provide some form of positivity, this can be from something as little as watching a TV program or a visit to my family a phone call from or to a friend or the thought of making some jewellery.
Anything to distract the mind.
Kind Regards
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Re: can't escape

Postby Butterfly8588 » Sat Jun 14, 2014 1:54 pm

denys wrote:Very confused as to the reason for the post by s*****ppens in reply to Fluppypuffy's what on earth was seen in her (FP's) (from what I can see) very helpful pleasant post to cause someone to claim Unfortunately, I don't like the way these comments are going, in this case I think I will find support from somewhere else, life is to short ..... feels like playground tactics.

I find this completely bizarre as the member who is the least likely to 'play games' is Fluppy :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:


I have to admit denys I was wondering the same thing! I thought it was quite helpful really. Its so difficult on this website cos we're all in pain and very prickly people because of it but I just wanted to say I've always found this website and its advice very useful and it helps a lot.
To the OP I dont have advice on how to escape yourself because I'm still trying to figure it out but I hope you feel better soon xxx
I'm the ghost of a girl that I want to be most, I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well.
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Re: can't escape

Postby denys » Sat Jun 14, 2014 4:25 pm

Glad to hear the site is helping butterfly :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D
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