more of a rant but.. ignorant people

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more of a rant but.. ignorant people

Postby dazzleship » Sat Sep 06, 2014 7:58 pm

Hi hope everyone is doing ok (as well as you can be with fibro anyhow) :grouphug:

Just needing to let off a little steam. Hubby and I (and dogs) went out for a drive today, hubby doing driving as I wasn't feeling too good. Supposed to be a nice drive around the countryside, taking some photos, little dander with the dogs etc. Well it was going well until we stopped at a services to go to the toilet (stupid bladder!)

When we got to the toilets I was going to use the disabled one (I've started doing that sometimes if I'm feeling really bad, more room for crutches etc) but it was a radar one so I couldn't get in. So, I went into the normal ones.

Now the only cubicle I could see open turned out to be a wider-than-normal one cos I realised when I went in that it had a baby changing thing inside it. Cool I thought, more room to manoeuvre my crutches without losing balance.

When I came out I was spotted by two old ladies, one of whom proceeded to tell her companion that I was using a cubicle that was for baby changing. She seemed really aghast at what I'd done.

Well I was so upset and embarrassed :cry: I swear some old people seem to look down on younger people like me who are disabled. :cry:

Just needed to get that off my chest. It put a bit of a dampner on my day, I find it difficult enough coping with the embarrassed feelings of my mobility issues, without things like that happening.

Does anyone else have to face stuff like this?
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Re: more of a rant but.. ignorant people

Postby daisyp59 » Sat Sep 06, 2014 8:20 pm

Hi, firstly, if you are faced with a radar toilet somewhere like a restaurant, motorway services, a shop etc, ask a member of staff for the key. They will always hand it over if asked. You can get keys directly from Radar or places like tourist information. I only had to pay £5.00 for mine from a tourist information place.
I know how you feel. I sometimes get looked at as though I shouldn't be using the disabled toilet as I don't look disabled. I have severe arthritis as well as the fibro and my knees are really painful, so the hand rails etc help enormously. I also don't like to make it known that I am disabled as I still get self-conscious, but my partner keeps telling me to forget what other people think, it is how I am feeling that counts. I do try to do this, and I am getting better! My next stage is to stop feeling embarrassed when I use my wheelchair :-).
Do what you have to do and don't let others who are judging you make you feel bad x
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Re: more of a rant but.. ignorant people

Postby rich44 » Sat Sep 06, 2014 8:24 pm

I usually find extending my middle finger at rude people, makes me feel a lot better or say something along the lines of

I know you haven't got much time left but try not to be so bitter about it.

I'm terrible for giving it out if someone's upset/annoyed me or my family.

My wife isn't a slim woman and we had a twin buggy which weighed 15kg on its own, add on a packed changing bag a 2 year old and a very heavy 6 month old so there was a lot of weight and she was pushing it uphill and just out of nowhere this guy says "you wanna lose some weight love it's not hard"

I said in a very loud voice just ignore the meathead if brains were dynamite he wouldn't have enough to blow that baseball cap of his head.

Rude people really make my blood boil
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Re: more of a rant but.. ignorant people

Postby TracyJ72 » Sat Sep 06, 2014 8:31 pm

There will always be ignorant people. Don't let them get you down. We didn't ask for this cruel illness. I used to say I'd never wish this illness on anybody but recently I changed that to everybody should experience 24 hours of it. Then maybe people would understand.

With regards to those toilets with the keys. I found this for you :-D

http://www.completecareshop.co.uk/toile ... ilet-keys/
"You know you are sick when you have to come up with simplified versions of your illness to tell people".
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Re: more of a rant but.. ignorant people

Postby dazzleship » Sat Sep 06, 2014 9:10 pm

daisyp and tracy - thanks for the radar key info. you know, it hadn't occurred to me that I could just get one of those. I suppose I'm still in the "they're for really disabled people" frame of mind, but I'm starting - slowly- to come around to the idea that maybe I should just get whatever things will help my life to be a bit easier.

good to hear daisy that you're trying not to let it get to you what others think. easier said than done though, at times.

rich - thanks for the laugh :lol: I wouldn't have the nerve to say something like that. when I told hubby about the two old women he wanted to say something out loud as they walked past a minute or so later but I was too embarrassed so I told him not to. maybe I should have let him let rip ;-)
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Re: more of a rant but.. ignorant people

Postby TNK* » Sat Sep 06, 2014 9:17 pm

yep totally feeling this one with you hun, i get looks if i use the disabled loo in our supermarket, i dont have crutches, but due to aches and pains i need the extra room to manouvre...and if i come out and there is someone waiting to get in i nearly always get comments...my usual reply is "dont be so ignorant, you dont need to have a leg hanging off to be disabled"

FFS what if i had a heart condition (well i do but only mild) or one leg or had a stoma bag or something....these people just do not understand!

Oh and dont get me started on the nosy gawpers give me the evils when i park in a disabled, bay and the look i give them when i shove my blue badge in the window.....sometimes it is followed by a middle finger!!
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Re: more of a rant but.. ignorant people

Postby dazzleship » Sat Sep 06, 2014 9:47 pm

hi TNK. I can understand (as I'm sure everyone on here can) why you might need the disabled toilet. so why can't all the ignoramuses understand? :evil: glad it doesn't get to you though. and well done for putting your middle finger to good use! :-)

I also sometimes get looks from people just as I'm walking about, as if I shouldn't be using the crutches or something. I wish I could get over the way it makes me feel (just want to go back home and hide from the world).

I want to enjoy my time out with hubby, but instead I find more and more increasing feelings of embarrassment or even anger or just feeling really uncomfortable at the situation. and when people almost walk into me (can't they see my crutches?!) I feel terribly - I don't know, vulnerable, defensive even.

lately I'm finding that it doesn't take much for me to feel angry and defensive when I'm out and about. I don't really know why. does this make sense to anyone? I don't mean that I walk around looking like this :twisted: just that I feel inside.. I don't know. it's hard to explain.
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Re: more of a rant but.. ignorant people

Postby migrembe » Sat Sep 06, 2014 10:11 pm

I use the disabled toilets all the time and i walk with a stick, balance isn't good and i do get fed up with asking for a key like a little kid - please sir can i go for a wee!!!
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Re: more of a rant but.. ignorant people

Postby TNK* » Sat Sep 06, 2014 10:29 pm

I'm going to look into getting one of those radar keys.

Oh and another thing why is it acceptable for folk to bang on the door if you are in a disabled loo...I feel like I always have to cough or make a noise to let them know some one is in there. ...They either keep trying the door like it's going to open...or bang on it asking me to hurry up....I usually end up shouting through something about having a crap in peace or you giving me stage fright to f off
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Re: more of a rant but.. ignorant people

Postby rich44 » Sat Sep 06, 2014 11:33 pm

We bought a radar key 8 years ago when the eldest was born. Too often the disabled loo I'd the only one you can get into and keep an eye on your baby.

It only cost £2.50 best money spent ever that key.
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Re: more of a rant but.. ignorant people

Postby dazzleship » Sat Sep 06, 2014 11:39 pm

ok its late at night and i'm still awake and have a daft question..

.. if you unlock the disabled toilet with the radar key what if someone is already in it? :shock: :oops: :roll:

does it stop you from unlocking it if someone is inside?
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Re: more of a rant but.. ignorant people

Postby rich44 » Sat Sep 06, 2014 11:46 pm

The key doesn't undo the lock.

Imagine a yale lock the radar key opens a yale lock but if someone has bolted the door it still won't open iykwim
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Re: more of a rant but.. ignorant people

Postby kayhealey » Sun Sep 07, 2014 1:53 am

OK this is a silly little rant. It's not legitimate as the previous ones, but it makes me want to exercise my middle finger. It usually happens at church, is meant as a compliment and is sometimes said by the Pastor!! Ready?
"You look wonderful!! You must be feeling much better!"
Shall I not take a bath, wear my oldest rags and not brush my hair to show I am in pain?? How I look has nothing to do with it! Sometimes I come to church feeling awful and it took so much effort that I am exhausted by the time I arrive. I don't wear make up because I'm sensitive to it, like I am to practically everything -- all cleaning products, most soaps, perfumes, laundry products that aren't marked "free and clear" and lots of other things--probably I have multiple chemical sensitivity, I think that's what it's called, but I've never been tested. No more tests right now, thank you very much!
BTW In searching for a plain unscented soap (that doesn't make my skin break out in a rash or peel or get red and hurt like I've been burnt, so painful I can't bear for even the water in the shower to touch it), I came upon a website ERG.com or something like that that rated all kinds of things for toxic chemicals many of which are carcinogenic. You wouldn't believe it. They said a good rule of thumb is, read the list of ingredients: "If you can't pronounce it, don't buy it, don't use it, and esp don't put it on your skin." If a chemical touches your skin for 26 seconds, your skin has absorbed the chemical! Scary, isn't it?
Does anyone else ever get the comment about looking well so you must be feeling fantastic? And is anyone else sensitive to odors,
dyes and other chemicals? I hope to get answers back from YOU. I wonder if this is related to FM or something else.
Sorry I wrote a book today! I haven't had anyone to talk to all day!!
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Re: more of a rant but.. ignorant people

Postby moe_d_uk » Sun Sep 07, 2014 5:37 am

Re dazzleship

Don't know about toilet but i've always been sensitive to chemicals. Whether its a fibro thing or not i dont know. However i do have a friend that developed alergies about the same time.


Kayhealey

drives me crazy when people say. "Really but u look so well" or " u r looking great. R u feeling better now ". So with on the middle finger approach.
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Re: more of a rant but.. ignorant people

Postby dotty lotty » Sun Sep 07, 2014 5:50 am

Normal toilets are normally so small it can be difficult to manoeuvre. If there is not a queue for the disabled what is the problem with anyone (disabled or not) using them :?:
I was directed into the gents toilets by the attendant in Berlin. This did not go down too well with the men when I came out of the cubicle :yikes: :yikes: :yikes: :teddy-bear:
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