more of a rant but.. ignorant people

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Re: more of a rant but.. ignorant people

Postby macca » Fri Sep 12, 2014 1:03 pm

Its interesting reading the comment about the neighbour's reaction to motability cars.

My wife has been in receipt of DLA (high rate mobility) for over half of her life and we too have had adverse reactions to our choice to lease a car on the scheme.

A female colleague of mine once remarked to another female colleague how 'lucky' we were to be able to acquire a new car every three years because if she wanted one she had to buy one. You can imagine my wife's reaction when I told her her how 'lucky' she was to be so ill from the age of 20.

I also had a male colleague telling me it was alright for me and my wife as we got a car for free whereas he had to pay for his. As you can imagine I was up for a 'debate' on that one.

I said "how do you mean free car, who gets the free car?",

"you and your mrs do" comes the reply.

"Err I don't know what your idea of 'free' is but my wife leases that car over a period of three years ane she pays a monthly amount for that over and above making an advance payment for it at the beginning of the lease, so if that's your idea of 'free' then yeah absolutely, its free"

"Oh, well I don't know anything about the mobility scheme"

"Clearly, so I shall explain. She receives DLA because she has mobility issues and the purpose of the benefit is to assist with mobility costs. Once she has the benefit its her call what to do with it. She can spend it on taxis, buses, or surprise surprise enter into a financial lease to fund a car"

"Ahh, err right, I didn't appreciate that's how it works, i just thought you were given a free car."

"A little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing eh?"

"err yeah,..... sorry about that, I didn't mean to cause offence"

"No worries, I come across idiots like you quite a lot!"


Never ceases to amaze me how ignorance can drive a person. Ironically how many of those same doubting thomas's would use the facility of the motability scheme should they be unfortunate enough to find themselves in the same position?

In this somewhat materialisic society that we sometimes find ourselves in, its just an example of "you've got something that I havn't".

Slightly related to this, I have an Aunty who was unfortunate enough to have lost her husband at a very young age having lost his battle against illness. He had a company car and in a massive gesture of kindness his employer gave the car to my aunty to help her. One of her colleagues actually expressed how unfair it was that she'd been given a car ..... despite losing her husband.

Amazing eh?

Mac
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Re: more of a rant but.. ignorant people

Postby denys » Fri Sep 12, 2014 3:24 pm

Disgusting human envy never ceases to amaze me :roll: :roll: :roll:
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Re: more of a rant but.. ignorant people

Postby TNK* » Fri Sep 12, 2014 3:28 pm

denys wrote:Disgusting human envy never ceases to amaze me :roll: :roll: :roll:


Ain't that the truth
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Re: more of a rant but.. ignorant people

Postby FluppyPuffy » Fri Sep 12, 2014 3:52 pm

At times we huu~mons are the cruelist and vilest species that has ever walked on the face of this planet.
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Re: more of a rant but.. ignorant people

Postby Zia2014 » Thu Sep 18, 2014 4:45 pm

My partner is understanding, I often talk him down and don't mean to :oops: But to him it's more of the same, in that I'm lazy so he always had to do more. My fault for being that way of course! But yeah, he can't get what it feels like with the pain etc.

dazzleship wrote:Well, he did it, and straight away he said "that was really difficult!".

And you know what? That one simple sentence brought tears to my eyes cos I knew that then he had a much better understanding of what it is like for me.


That brought a tear to my eye too. Have a hug - oh I couldn't find a hug so have a dancing bear instead! :bear-dancing:
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Re: more of a rant but.. ignorant people

Postby macca » Thu May 28, 2015 1:15 pm

Following on from am earlier email of mine from this thread, this week i've had the 'pleasure' of trudging through yet another conversation with someone telling me how wrong it is that people on benefits are given free cars !!

This just gets tiresome. There's no such thing as a free car on the Motability scheme... fact.

I had to labour away telling this person how the Motability scheme isn't run by the government, its run by a charity. They don't give cars away for free, most cars come with a requirement for an advance payment which can run into thousands depending upon spec. and that is then followed by a 36 month lease hire agreement @ £230 a month. How on earth is that free ??

What did I get? ... the usual answer ..... "oh, well I don't know anything about the motability scheme"

How is it that able bodied folks can know so little about the mechanics of the Motability scheme yet feel justified in blowing off about it spouting total garbage?

When I got to the bottom of this persons comments it actually all came down to one simple point ...... my mate has got a better car than me and i'm not happy about that. Materialistic?

I'll bet this person wouldn't want the car if it came with the health problems eh?

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Re: more of a rant but.. ignorant people

Postby Sarah_89 » Fri May 29, 2015 9:42 am

I got the 'but you look so well' from a woman at work when I was explaining to her how I felt. It was meant as a compliment I think & was said with such positive enthusiasm but could've been hiding the fact that she thought I was over dramatising or something. I said back well I have a lot of blusher on & she said something along the lines of well yes a few layers of make-up can help I guess. This was a few months ago now but I'm glad I thought of something to say back cos what are you supposed to say to someone when they make such ignorant comments like that? Especially when it's someone you unfortunately have to see most days! Oh yeah I was joking about how I feel hahaha do you get it?!!! :evil: saying that there are some lovely people at my work who accept everything I say, no questions asked :-) well no stupid ignorant ones anyway. I don't mind people asking things like will it get better, are you on medication for it, those I can easily answer & don't mind answering. In fact I like it when people ask questions like that, it means they are genuinely interested & maybe even concerned about me :shock: shocker!!!
I am a fibro fighter! :-)

Keep fighting guys and gals and stay strong! Gentle hugs

Sarah x
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Re: more of a rant but.. ignorant people

Postby bandj » Fri May 29, 2015 7:11 pm

Yeah, I get that comment "you look so well" - even had it from a doctor once! Most people have learnt that though I may look well I'm not. If someone who doesn't know me well enough I just say ghat I keep plodding on.
I've often used disabled loos too. The funniest thing that happened was when a few young men who had been drinking were hanging around the disabled loo. I was on crutches and one lad said to me "the ladies is that door". I said "yes but I can't manage the stairs" "there's stairs? No way!" Was his response so I told him to check for himself and he did! "F××× me" he said, "you'd better use the disabled toilet!" :-D and they all moved away so I could use the disabled loo!

people are people and there's always going to be the rude, pig-headed and plain awkward people. Best to try and ignire them.:bear-dancing: :dogrun1: If they could feel the way we feel they'd soon to be nicer!

best to stick with furry friends as they never knock you for using a disabled loo, crutches, wheelchairs or blue badges. They just love us regardless
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Re: more of a rant but.. ignorant people

Postby Zia2014 » Sat May 30, 2015 8:04 pm

bandj wrote:Yeah, I get that comment "you look so well" - even had it from a doctor once! Most people have learnt that though I may look well I'm not. If someone who doesn't know me well enough I just say ghat I keep plodding on.


I had it from my very lovely GP. My reply? "Well I don't feel well." He acknowledged that was true and it was probably a silly comment!

It bugs me but I just try and remember they are trying to be nice and reassuring. At least they are trying...
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Re: more of a rant but.. ignorant people

Postby Sarah_89 » Sat May 30, 2015 8:22 pm

Zia2014 wrote:
bandj wrote:Yeah, I get that comment "you look so well" - even had it from a doctor once! Most people have learnt that though I may look well I'm not. If someone who doesn't know me well enough I just say ghat I keep plodding on.


I had it from my very lovely GP. My reply? "Well I don't feel well." He acknowledged that was true and it was probably a silly comment!

It bugs me but I just try and remember they are trying to be nice and reassuring. At least they are trying...


Yeah their hearts are usually in the right place. I think you just have to learn how to react to it, not overreact, learn how to respond to it & not let it get to you. Choose your words carefully for your own benefit as well as theirs. To help them understand how you feel & to get what you need from them. It's easier said than done but I'm beginning to learn how to do it now fortunately :-)
I am a fibro fighter! :-)

Keep fighting guys and gals and stay strong! Gentle hugs

Sarah x
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