Helping Those Around Me Deal With My Emotions

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Helping Those Around Me Deal With My Emotions

Postby thisbridgetisgreat » Mon Sep 15, 2014 3:52 pm

I struggle to deal with my own emotions since the fibro, I manage to deal with everything usually but as soon as something unexpected comes up I fall apart. I cry and get angry, or at worst simply switch off for a while.

The thing is I live with my Boyfriend who is also my carer and I rely on him at times like these, sometimes I snap at him and sometimes I worries about me. I know that I need him to help me with all the physical problems but I worry that I put to much on him emotionally and I really need advice on how to deal with this, or to help him deal with this.
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Re: Helping Those Around Me Deal With My Emotions

Postby hazely » Mon Sep 15, 2014 4:26 pm

Hi have you spoken to your dr about how you feel. i think if you haven't then you should think about doing so, not only will it get it off your chest but he maybe able to help you with dealing with your emotions. hth
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Re: Helping Those Around Me Deal With My Emotions

Postby dazzleship » Mon Sep 15, 2014 4:31 pm

hi thisbridgetisgreat

when I read your post I just had to reply ebcause I really understand what you're going through. :hugs:

your post was so familiar to me (just replace 'boyfriend' with 'husband' and it could be me talking). I also struggle with emotions - if something goes wrong I cry my heart out and shout and just can't handle it. I just don't know how to cope with things anymore.

my husband helps me tremendously, I hate that I shout and scream at him when things go wrong but like you said it's so difficult to handle the emotions. I don't know why it's a part of Fibro, wish I understood why.

the only advice I can offer is to try and take a step back when things get too much. think about the problem logically, talk it through with your boyfriend, and try to realise that there is a solution.

I know it's easy for me to say this when I don't always manage to do this myself but hopefully it makes some sense. I try to tell myself "just stay calm", "it's okay", over and over again and it helps. also, try just taking some deep breaths in and out, close your eyes and breathe deeply several times. you may find this staves off the feeling of anxiousness and stops the emotions getting too much.

as for all the help your boyfriend has to give you - it's only natural that you feel quilty about it but I guess this again is something you need to talk through with him, at a time when you're feeling calm. explain what worries you have and hopefully he will understand.

sending you :hugs:
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Re: Helping Those Around Me Deal With My Emotions

Postby Beccie42 » Mon Sep 15, 2014 5:36 pm

Strange. I was justthinking its about time those I work with saw my emotions for once. They might cut me some slack now and again!
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Re: Helping Those Around Me Deal With My Emotions

Postby heatherjswiegers » Mon Sep 15, 2014 7:45 pm

Hello
I know how you feel. So often I have snapped at my husband and daughter. I feel I just can help it. I get so iretated and short tempered. As I right this, my daughter is trying to get my attention and I snapped saying can you not see I am busy. I love my husband and daughter and Dont want to hurt them. I struggle when I am in a lot of pain. Today have took a migraine nose spray, I had not had one since starting MST and I was really nauseous and so drugged. I went for an eye test and kept falling asleep. Really struggle some times. I feel most guilty about the way I treat my family some times. I have been asked by my daughter why I hurt her feeling when I feel pain.

I try to take their feelings in to consideration but ivforget that while I snap and then its too late.
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Re: Helping Those Around Me Deal With My Emotions

Postby Helhit » Tue Sep 16, 2014 10:00 am

You're definitely are not alone - I am exactly the same. Any slightest bit of stress or having to do something I'm unsure about sets me off terribly.

My 14 year old dog is poorly and we thought we were going to lose her over the weekend. She's got heart arrhythmia, so is looking terrible, bless her. This has caused me to almost go in on myself if you know what I mean. I can't get her out of my thoughts to the point of not being able to do or cope with anything else.

I had a course of cognitive behavioural therapy and one of the coping strategies I learnt is to just ride the wave when anxiety or sadness comes. It is only an emotion and will not last. I now try to let the thought come into my head , acknowledge it without reacting to, then let it pass. Or if it still upsets you try to ride it until a better thought comes in.


I had trouble at first expressing how I felt. Now I will tell my family what I'm thinking and feeling, so they know why I'm acting like I am.

Does your husband know about your condition, that stresses from anywhere can set us off. This will help with his understanding and he can make allowances for you when the pain is bad. .

The only advice I can give really is to be the person you would want to live with - take a few seconds before you speak. Its a cliche I know, but you get more with honey than vinegar.
Fibro is like the wind. You can't see it and when it flares up it knocks you off your feet!
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Re: Helping Those Around Me Deal With My Emotions

Postby dazzleship » Tue Sep 16, 2014 12:41 pm

Beccie42 wrote:Strange. I was justthinking its about time those I work with saw my emotions for once. They might cut me some slack now and again!

you know, your post is as if you're responding to the post I was originally gonna write! :-) I wanted to say something about hiding how bad I am from my colleagues but I couldn't get the words right so I gave up.

so I guess I'm not the only one who hides how they're really feeling from their colleagues?

this week is a 'bad week' - I'm in pain, I struggle to get from my chair into a standing position, and as for walking along the corridor from the office - it takes an eternity (I counted it today - it took me 114 steps from my desk to the loo :roll: ). but I'm still trying not to let anyone see what I'm going through...and I keep asking myself why.

why do I keep hiding it? am I embarrased? maybe. but how are they ever going to understand if I don't let them see what I'm really going through?

maybe I don't think they will understand. I don't know.

and there endeth my rambling thoughts... :-?
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Re: Helping Those Around Me Deal With My Emotions

Postby Zia2014 » Thu Sep 18, 2014 5:05 pm

I hide it too. And I hate being told how well I look! I just know people (including close family) who go on and on and on about their health problems, and I know people's sympathies run out. I also know that when most people ask "how are you" they don't really want to hear the truth! So I just don't bother telling them unless I'm having a spectacularly difficult time :nono:

All that means I only really talk to my partner, and yes he gets it all. The moaning, the crying, the melt downs, the insanity...I don't know how he does it and I keep on waiting for the day he will leave me :(
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