Think I will lose my appeal & feeling very vulnerable

All your fibromyalgia experiences, questions and answers.

Moderators: perseus, *Lisa*, FluppyPuffy

Think I will lose my appeal & feeling very vulnerable

Postby cocobella » Wed Sep 24, 2014 3:28 pm

Hi all,

First of all I want to say, this is not a sympathy beg. However sad it seems, THIS IS MY LIFE! :yikes: :yikes: Please read this with humour as I do try to be funny at times, however I am REALLY depressed just now.

I am now at appeal stage with DWP as they disallowed my application for PIP/DLA. I applied May 2013, assessed Sept 2013, ATOS lost my report and assessment review, I was informed of this in April 2014 and told that I must attend another assessment. Attended second assessment in April 2014, assessor was a physiotherapist, received letter in May 2014 to say I wasn't getting an award. I was disallowed in the daily living component by TWO points!!!!

I have received all the appeal papers today and I am honestly DISGUSTED at what the assessor has written about me. She has basically made me out to be fit as a fiddle!! She was a physio therefore I don't think she had the capacity to assess me mentally and I did state that I suffered from severe depression due to my fibro. She also wrote "thyroid problems" and failed to state that I actually had complex endocrine problems. She even failed to mention that I had NO thyroid due to mandatory surgery to safe my life (due to potential cancer and airway compression) and also that I had and still have hyperparathyroidism (and had 1 parathyroid (calcium gland) removed during surgery due to adenoma). Which in turn, causes my bones to be weak and painful. I am only 27, lost my fulltime job and managed to keep my job part-time, however that has had it's problems too as I am never at work due to constantly being off sick just now. My thyroid level has been unstable for 19 months, my pain is at an all time high and the muscle spasms and twitching is just unbelievable.

Despite providing tons and tons of evidence, the DWP have still stated they are upholding their decision even at tribunal stage. I do have a solicitor helping me via legal aid and am meeting with her next week to go over DWP's evidence against me and why they are disallowing an award.

I am also trapped in my parents house as I cannot afford to live alone on my part-time wage (£700 per month), and as I receive no PIP/DLA I am not entitled to housing benefit or any supplementary payments to help with rent. I am also up to my eye balls in debt now (due to being a silly 21 year old with a credit card when I was normal and healthy and worked fulltime). I only have the support of one parent as my other parents continually abuses me mentally. Ever since I became unwell, my relationship with my father has just hit the gutter. He treats me very unfairly, tells me he is disgusted when he sees me with my walking stick, provides me with no support and will call me names, be nasty to me and generally be your average bully. Luckily he works away a lot, however when he is home it is a living nightmare and I even end up sleeping at a friends in her toddlers bed!!!!!! Imagine that with fibro! Anyway, I am trapped in their home. I cannot move out because I will end up being able to JUST pay my rent and then have no money for bills or food! let alone any "fun" time which I try to get in atleast once a month in the capacity of seeing friends for dinner or going to the cinema.

The whole of the above is getting me down, bigstyle!! and again, I am at that bridge where I think about suicide a lot. I have been thinking if I weren't here anymore it would be better for my parents because I am basically a burden to them and a 27 year old toddler!!!! when you think of what I am capable of on a daily basis. I see NO hope for the future, what guy would want to date me considering I am basically "sleeping beauty" the majority of the time, I doubt I would be a good mother as I am physically and mentally too ill most of the time, plus with my thyroid level TSH being at 56 at the moment .....getting pregnant would be a NO NO!!!, I am stuck in my parents house, in my bedroom, with no hope of getting my own place. My friends are all moving on, moving out, getting engaged, getting married, having fun and I am sat at home most of the time. The main positive in my life are my dogs, they cheer me up and make me happy, however I can barely walk them just now. The past 6 weeks I have been off work and unwell. Also, I have a feeling I will lose my part-time job as they cannot sustain me constantly having long periods of absence, therefore a chance of me continuing in my career (I.T) is also a NO NO!!! My fibro fog kind of cancels that out anyway as I am getting worse at my job. TO be quite honest I feel like a BIG FAT FAILURE!!!!

I do not think I will win my appeal, and the thought of sitting infront of a tribunal makes me feel sick. I am usually quite a confident person, however I am slowly but surely crumbling.

I need help from you all, I feel like I sound really selfish and self indulgent, however I am really not coping and ending it has been in my head A Lot recently.

Tears, laughs and screams.......

Coco x
User avatar
cocobella
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 95
Joined: Tue Mar 26, 2013 3:38 pm

Re: Think I will lose my appeal & feeling very vulnerable

Postby di doc » Wed Sep 24, 2014 3:53 pm

https://www.facebook.com/FightBack4Justice?fref=nf
This is a group on facebook that really helps, some of them are lawyers
they are helping me at the moment with my appeal for ESA
I wouldn't be able to do this without them
di doc
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 24
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2014 8:09 am

Re: Think I will lose my appeal & feeling very vulnerable

Postby dazzleship » Wed Sep 24, 2014 3:57 pm

hi Cocobella. first of all :hugs:

I am so sorry to hear of all you are going through. It sounds like hell, to be honest, and I'm sure you feel the same.

I don't have any experience of DWP / ATOS etc so I really can't comment on any of that other than to say I think it's bl**dy awful that you have been treated so badly by the so -called 'experts' dealing with your benefits :twisted: . is there an appeal process? can you get support of your GP?

I understand that life must feel very bleak for you right now, especially with your home life that at the moment you feel trapped in. I know from personal experience (albeit a long time ago) about abusive parents so I know how hard it must be for you.

you mention suicide - oh, cocobella, please try not to think that way. I know its easy to fall into a trap of feeling worthless - I do all the time! thankfully I have a wonderful husband who refuses to let me say I'm a burden. yes, I know at the moment you don't have anyone special in your life but I'm sure there are other people out there who will like you for who you are, not what you suffer from. that will all come in time.

and for now, you have your doggies to keep you company and love you, and as a dog owner myself I know for a fact that they will love you no matter how little you are able to walk them. and they would miss you if you weren't around! so next time you feel dark thoughts, try and think of your dogs and how much they love you and need you.

:dogrun1:

I don't know how much my words will help you but I hope they do help at least a little bit. remember that you have lots of people on this forum who care about you.

:grouphug:
dazzleship
User avatar
dazzleship
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 460
Joined: Fri Jun 20, 2014 10:40 pm
Location: scotland

Re: Think I will lose my appeal & feeling very vulnerable

Postby hazely » Wed Sep 24, 2014 4:12 pm

So sorry to hear how you are feeling at present, but you are doing the right thing by talking about it. Definitely contact fightback4justice and speak to your dr about how you feel. You could also get in touch with framework who my be able to help with your housing situation or at the very least offer you support and guidance.
hazely
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 98
Joined: Sat Feb 08, 2014 12:22 pm

Re: Think I will lose my appeal & feeling very vulnerable

Postby cocobella » Wed Sep 24, 2014 4:37 pm

I contacted Fightback4Justice and they said they are so pressed just now, and they did provide me with links etc for advice but they couldn't personally help me.
User avatar
cocobella
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 95
Joined: Tue Mar 26, 2013 3:38 pm

Re: Think I will lose my appeal & feeling very vulnerable

Postby gilld » Wed Sep 24, 2014 9:59 pm

am so sorry to hear you are feeling so low. am very surprised fightback say they are too busy to help. they are incredibly busy but will always respond to an email as a priority. they only have michelle the founder as a qualified lawyer. she represented me at my esa appeal last week and i won. it wasn't the ordeal i was dreading as the dwp papers lied about just about everything. have u got a date for your appeal? email michelle asap. don't give up please x
gilld
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 24
Joined: Sun Jun 08, 2014 10:57 am

Re: Think I will lose my appeal & feeling very vulnerable

Postby zappa20 » Thu Sep 25, 2014 12:33 am

Can't add much to what has already been posted. But Housing Benefit or Local Housing Allowance isn't dependent on you being awarded DLA or PIP. It's paid out based on low or nil income so you may be legible for some help with rent if you move out . But it would only be the rate for shared accommodation because of your age.

If you're just 2 points short of one of the award levels, I'm sure with the help you have you'll gain it, and if so you might then be eligible for help with working tax credits because of it. So hard as it is, if you can try to think positively about the appeal, as it may be your solution for a way forward with your life.

I'm considerably older than you, and can assure you in life when one door closes , more open along the way. Nothing is or lasts forever, and things will change, and not always for the bad, so keep your chin up meantime. Good Luck.
zappa20
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 356
Joined: Sun May 27, 2012 6:46 am

Re: Think I will lose my appeal & feeling very vulnerable

Postby cocobella » Thu Sep 25, 2014 1:31 pm

Thanks everyone. I really hope I can win this and get myself on track to hopefully get better and manage my pain better. xx
User avatar
cocobella
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 95
Joined: Tue Mar 26, 2013 3:38 pm

Re: Think I will lose my appeal & feeling very vulnerable

Postby rolsy66 » Fri Sep 26, 2014 4:53 pm

I know that this sounds like absolute madness but ask your mum to throw you out. You can then present at the council as homeless and with all your medical history your county council would deem you extremely vulnerable and therefore would have a duty of care to house you. Even if it was a hostel you could then apply for the rent deposit to get you own place. You mother could help by say I.g that the situation between you and your father is having.g an effect on your health


It would put you on the pathway to being in your own home. You would ha e so much more support and maybe even make some friends. I am a housing officer you want any more information etc
rolsy66
UKFM Newbie
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Sun Sep 22, 2013 7:05 am


Return to Living with Fibromyalgia

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests