So Low

All your fibromyalgia experiences, questions and answers.

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So Low

Postby leegould1 » Thu Oct 02, 2014 3:32 pm

Hi I have had FM for over 7 years now and at the moment is getting worse day by day my depression is getting worse due to this but my main problem isnt the pain its the fact my whole family are calling me lazy and thres nothing wrong with me all behind my back. I feel so alone and dont know where to go really. If it wasn't for my kids I wouldnt want to be alive. I have tried my hardest over the last 7 years to ignore my family but now its all getting on top off me its a lonely life at the moment but I would love to have some friends on here to be able to talk to who actually understands me, where im not feeling judged.

Please feel free to contact me on here.

Thanks for reading

Lee
Last edited by FluppyPuffy on Fri Oct 03, 2014 11:54 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Removal of personal email address.
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Re: So Low

Postby lisa holden » Thu Oct 02, 2014 3:52 pm

ive had fibro for 6 years, i only have one symptom now and most of my pains and strains have gone as i realised depression was causing it and making me tense. since going back to work part time and volunteering work at a church , it just all went away. tackle depression and you have beaten it like me .
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Re: So Low

Postby lisa holden » Thu Oct 02, 2014 4:02 pm

Depression and Chronic Pain if you look at this subject on webmd.com it makes sense :-D
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Re: So Low

Postby iblinkin » Thu Oct 02, 2014 4:22 pm

Hi leegould1, I'm sorry you are going through this horrible thing called Fibro and the one thing i would like to share with you is that even though we feel alone and yes this can be a very lonely illness please be reasured that you are not alone! Yes it is hard for others to understand what they don't see or hear or feel themselves and most people today are too busy to listen to our complaints as they are already inundated with their own challenges of the day, just not our challenges and think we should just suck it up like they are doing and not realising our pain is far different from the average person. There's a help section here in the index and several fibro friends including myself have posted suggestions there to help improve ourselves and yes there are things there that will help, it's just finding out what works for you as we are not all the same with our symptoms. One big piece of advice i would like to share with is do not let it get you down or it will win as it's very important to keep a sunny disposition and think happy thoughts! This is acheivable but it does take time to turn ourselves around and keep thinking positive thoughts as this did not occur overnight. Stay strong and happy.. we care! :-D
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Re: So Low

Postby Fibrad » Thu Oct 02, 2014 5:25 pm

Hi Lee
I cannot totally understand - like you, I can tolerate the pain, I can (just about) tolerate the fatigue, battle the depression when it descends but the very worst part is the feeling of isolation and knowing that people think you are imagining it, looking for attention or just downright lazy. If only they could walk in your shoes for a few days! Not sure what the answer is....perhaps there isn't one. It is invisible - put yourself in their shoes - you look OK, no limb falling off, no terrible rash - you must be fine, just pull yourself together! If only eh?? Try not to get angry, or down - just try to explain it, to ask for an acceptance of it. You are not asking for an excuse to opt out of living, but some understanding why you find some aspects of it impossible or difficult. I hope you manage to get your family to listen and offer a bit more support - in the meantime, I am sure you will get it here! :-) Take care.
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Re: So Low

Postby leegould1 » Thu Oct 02, 2014 6:23 pm

Hi thank you everybody with your kind replies, im trying to keep myself happy and ignore the ignorance of my family members.

Thankyou again

Regards

Lee
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Re: So Low

Postby heatherjswiegers » Thu Oct 02, 2014 7:21 pm

Hello Lee

I want you to know I have been where you are. I felt worthless and alone. My daughter is now seven but for a long time when she was younger, was the only reason I was still alive.
I felt judged all the time, I could not show pain or ask for help as the people surrounding me believed that I was a hypochondriac. The friends I had were never really friends at all. My family, most are no longer in touch with me as I made my self herd. I made sure that if in any way they thought I was not I'll with a disability that they should stay out of my life as I do not need them. I had a call nverstation with my brother explaining what I have and how I feel on a daily basis. He still did not truely believe that I have a disability. At the end of 2012 he said that I did not stop acting sick, he was going to disown me. I told him that I have a disability. I have not heard from hi. Since. I have tried on a few occasions to phone home but he puts down the phone, he de-friended me on face book, so we no longer communicate. This did not make my life any easier and causes a lot of sadness in my life.

I had never been a believer but started reading the bible.

I have one friend, he is a family friend, he is a paramedit, first responder. He took my husband to one side and explained fibro to him from a medical point of view, explained what strength my meds were and how much pain he though I could be.

My husband is my best friend and now believes in fibro as we feel it. He admits that he will never know how we feel but he says he will never judge a person ever again.

I can't give you a solution and I can not take away your emotional pain. I must say that emotional pain can not be dulled with meds.

We are here to support you and know how you feel.

I am sorry you are not only in physical pain but emotional as well.

Reach out when ever you can.

Regards
Heather
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Re: So Low

Postby iblinkin » Fri Oct 03, 2014 12:36 am

Hi heatherjswiegers, great post Heather! I have been thru it all as well with people hating me, to them not believing me and it's all in mind.. including my GP. It took some time for my family to come around and youngest son didn't talk to me for 5 years because i tried weed to alleviate the migraines, at that point i would have tried anything seeing as i tried to work thru all of this with 24/7 migraines with no relief and then my GP put me on that drug.. go figure and yes it has helped. My in-laws have been trashing me behind my back and no they didn't do a good job of hiding it and i recently confronted them and they are backing off for now, if they only realised how much harm this does to us and yes i have on many an occasion thought about taking the easy way out and I'm glad i didn't because these days i look at myself in a different light and what they say is not important.. like the old saying goes, sticks and stones may break my bones, but... you all know the rest. Good luck and health to all. :-D
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Re: So Low

Postby FluppyPuffy » Fri Oct 03, 2014 12:24 pm

Sorry to hear how things are affecting you Lee. Such comments seem to cut much more deeply when they come from those we thought would be supportive no matter what was happening. To me, with them making these comments behind your back, it says an awful lot about them and the type of people they are. Sadly there are too many people like this in the world, taking the places that would be better filled with those of a sweeter nature/disposition.

Having been on my FibroQuest for over 14 years now, I've had my encounters with such specimens of humanity. These days my skin is considerably thicker, so if I happen to hear some twazzock trotting out those usual lines about laziness etc, I just leave them to it. There are many more things I can be doing with the time and energy I would need to expend in trying to engage with these twonks, all of which are far more preferable and pleasurable than yet again being told it's all in my head, it can't be real, blah blah blah.

When you look back on things tho, whilst it hurt and caused upset as it was occurring, you do start to see where little things are becoming lighter and brighter for not having the stress and worry that such people bring with them.
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.

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Re: So Low

Postby FluppyPuffy » Fri Oct 03, 2014 12:35 pm

Ooooopsie :oops: :oops: :oops: Forgot to add a bit in :facepalm: :facepalm: I've removed the email address you had said people could use to contact you. We always suggest that members are better keeping such personal info off~forum. Previous experiences for members who have left their email addresses in posts have been unpleasant to say the least, including finding themselves being continually spammed and receiving emails making very personal comments and threats, as well as ones carrying worms, trojans and other infectious pooter~nastys.

If you want to contact others off~forum, starting with private messages tends to be a safer way to do things, and then when you feel comfortable and ready to do so, that is the time to exchange more/additional contact info.
As a Public Moderator of this forum my opinions/views expressed are personal and are no more valid than those of other members and not necessarily those of UKFibromyalgia.

If your dog doesn't like someone, then you probably shouldn't either
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