It's Official. Giving Up Work.

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It's Official. Giving Up Work.

Postby becbob » Fri Oct 24, 2014 4:00 pm

I have gone into work today and I have told them that when my sick note runs out I wont be able to return. I am so upset and gutted. I loved my job and all the people too. I have struggled for the last year and I knew something would have to give and my daughters will all ways come first. I am so anxious. I am way to ill to carry on working physically but mentally I'm heartbroken.
I filled out my PIP forms yesterday with the help of a lovely lady from CAB and as soon as I officially leave work I can apply for ESA and start the agonising form filling again.
I have always worked since I was 14, I am only 38 now. It just seems so final and scary. I know I will learn to cope with this huge adjustment but right now I don't want to so I am very upset and emotional. Bloody fibro has ruined my life in so many ways but in other respects it has taught me to not take things for granted and to cherish the little things.
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Re: It's Official. Giving Up Work.

Postby dazzleship » Fri Oct 24, 2014 5:25 pm

hi

ohh dear I can't even imagine what it must feel like to have to make such a big, life-changing decision.

change is very hard, especially after so long. but sometimes - what's that saying I heard once? "you have to turn left to keep going forward". or something like that. hopefully you know what I mean.

sometimes things just have to change and you have to just go with that flow. and who knows where that direction will take you? probably somewhere for the better, although you perhaps can't see that right now. but you will, in time. and then you will look back and see all the things that led to where you are, right at that moment.

you are totally right about cherishing the little things. sometimes we take things for granted so easily, it's good sometimes to stop and take a step back and see what's around you.

sending you lots of :hugs:

good luck for the future. xx
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Re: It's Official. Giving Up Work.

Postby Lizee » Fri Oct 24, 2014 6:41 pm

I know what you mean about always working. I've been in work since I left college at 17. I'm in a similar position though I'm holding off until I have had my occupational health appointment with work. Good luck with your ESA claim.
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Re: It's Official. Giving Up Work.

Postby Zia2014 » Fri Oct 24, 2014 6:45 pm

Oh becbob, please be nice to yourself while you come to terms with this.

What job did you do? You never know, things may change in the future and you may be able to do something. I have seen a lot of people made redundant over the years, and while a different situation, some see the positives and embrace what they can now do, and others dwell on the negatives and opportunities pass them by. For me, I see being forced into part time work (or as current, unemployed), as giving me an opportunity firstly to come to terms with my condition, and also in the future it will mean I can get a dog!
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Re: It's Official. Giving Up Work.

Postby Hannah24 » Fri Oct 24, 2014 7:06 pm

Hi,

I have real respect for you and the decision you've had to make. I'm sure it wasn't an easy one and I'm in a similar situation where I am debating between my work ethic/financial security against my children. I know they should come first but I haven't been brave enough yet to make that choice. I know in the next year or two something will have to change as I am at breaking point.

I think we all know our limits and I'm sure you and your family will be better off for it.

Good luck! x
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Re: It's Official. Giving Up Work.

Postby gizsam » Fri Oct 24, 2014 9:08 pm

Well its a while since i posted in here but feel that i need support from people who are going though the same thing, i am too going to have to take ill health retirement from a career i have done since i was 17, i am now 40, so i fully understand x
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Re: It's Official. Giving Up Work.

Postby becbob » Fri Oct 24, 2014 9:14 pm

Thank you all for the encouragement and advice. It has taken me over a year to make this decision but I really am unable to do my job. I work at Argos. If I'm on the tills it kills my hands and top half, fibrofog, and when I'm picking items it's ladders and usual heavy items. I really liked it though because it got me out and about and I felt "normal" to a degree. Cannot physically manage and they have said that I would be welcomed back if I improve. Only time will tell but it's still hard.
My daughters have just taken me for a lovely meal and are really supportive so I now feel mentally a lot better. We will deal with whatever comes are way but the main thing is that we will deal with it together.
Bloody knackered now, that meal has wiped me out but I've had a good day and I certainly made the most of it. :-D
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Re: It's Official. Giving Up Work.

Postby madchickenlady » Fri Oct 24, 2014 11:27 pm

So sorry you have had to give up work but I am sure its the right thing for you to do at this time, you might find that in the future you can go back, I work for the NHS and have just gone back to work but on shorter shifts than I normally do, I am dreading going back to my long shifts in case I can't handle it, but if I do short shifts it means I have to work 5 days instead of 3 and I find that better for me
I spoke with my matron when I went back and told him that I am considering cutting my hours next year but I need to find out how it will affect my wages holiday entitlement and pension first to make sure I can afford it, personally I don't think I will be able to manage but I will see nearer the time
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Re: It's Official. Giving Up Work.

Postby Rebecca1991xx » Sat Oct 25, 2014 2:13 am

Hiya there,
My name is Rebecca and I'm 23 years old. I've been signed offnow for 6 months. I've been working since 16 years old however where I was working was causing me so much stress, anxiety and pain. I kept having massive flare ups and I was at the worst point of my illness. Not just do I have fibro but I have bilateral damage to my hip joints which means I had to use a walking stick at work.
I hated being off all the time however the longer I've been off the better I feel. The rest really does you good and the fact that you can take
It easy when you need to, sleep when you need to, not worry about the side effects of your drugs at work and also being able to receive the help you need from your family does you a whole lot of good. Obviously we can never be perfectly fine and will still go through that daily pain but hopefully you'll benefit the way i have from stopping work. I wish you the best of luck and I hope your start to feel that little better very soon!!

Take care
Xx
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Re: It's Official. Giving Up Work.

Postby gizsam » Sat Oct 25, 2014 8:48 am

I too work in the NHS madchickenlady, as a nurse, work were unable to accommodate shifts,as i was also doing the 12 hours shifts 3 times a week, they did look at redeployment but i felt that working 5 days was too much for me, i have really bad flares this year, so the only choice i had was to look at ill health retirement, i have a meeting on the 7th Nov with work, i am gutted as i have worked as a qualified nurse since 1995, i am so scared of the future with money etc, but i am beginning to see i need to do whats best for me, i am finding it hard that the person who has cared for others now needs caring.

My dad passed away in July after a very fast and aggressive rare cancer, which has hit my very hard, thats another story.

My wonderful partner said to my last night, at least you will remember the last person you nursed, i looked at him, and he said your dad, well i havent stop crying since,and i think that a lovely way of looking at it

Take Care

Cat xx
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Re: It's Official. Giving Up Work.

Postby Gillian Jane » Sun Oct 26, 2014 11:47 pm

it certainly is scary giving up work, i was self employed in the direct selling industry for 14 years making good money and travelling overseas on incentive trips. Fibro smashed that into the ground, at one stage i could hardly get out of bed, i had to find something else to keep my mind and hands busy as the rest of me wasnt interested. i now spend many happy hours beading, making beautiful things which i hope to deveolp into and internet based business. this should give me a bit of income and gives me the freedom to work when i can as opposed to when i have to. i might add that when i am deeply involved in a pattern i am not so aware of the pain. what i have to do now is to look after myself and learn to live with my limitations. i wish you all the best in rebuilding your life, take up a hobby it helps keep you occupied, painting is fun too.
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Re: It's Official. Giving Up Work.

Postby clairbear » Sun Oct 26, 2014 11:49 pm

Hi becbob,

Please don't beat yourself up for this decision hun, I did the exact same in March this year.
I struggled for nearly a year and my work were really good to me but I knew I just wasn't going to get my fibro and other conditions under better control whilst still struggling with work.
I cried..a lot.. I've worked since I was 16 and I'm 36 now, I've never been out of work, it was almost like I was giving in but now, 7 months on I know it was the right decision.

7 months on I'm still only receiving the lower ESA as my assessment still hasn't been completed by ATOS.
I'm hoping to get into the Support group element of ESA soon as my contributions will run out, they don't seem to be in a rush, so if you don't hear after the traditional 13weeks makes sure you chase them, I'm sure CAB will help you.

I had my PIP assessment a few weeks ago after waiting 8 months for it, this was expected as they are so far behind.
It was frustrating trying to explain how my fibro has changed and I've developed new symptoms, whilst others subside in the 8 months but the PIP assessor was surprisingly empathetic.

I had my first pain clinic last month, I'm pending another caudal epidural and shoulder surgery in the next month or so, I have no idea how I would have coped if I was still working.
I'm hoping to go back to work part time 10hrs or something but I'm trying to wait for things to settle as everything health wise is still a bit up in the air.
Financially me and my partner are ruined and this stress doesn't help me, hence looking for work when I'm not quite ready but you do what you can when you have a lazy partner!

Just take the time out to get things sorted, take time to look after yourself & don't push yourself too hard.
Good luck with your forms, take advantage of CAB, they are lifesavers with DWP forms.
Keep in touch x
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Re: It's Official. Giving Up Work.

Postby Iceskatemum » Sat Nov 01, 2014 5:42 am

Sad to say many of us have had to make the same decision or unfortunately had the decision made for them by an employer. I will not sugar coat it but I found it a very hard time, as my emotions were all over the place , crying for the job and social life I had liked v sitting /lying around the house on my own all day. I felt tremendous guilt at not being able to contribute to the family finances as I had previously and guilt also for the fact I am now reliant on my other half so much.
While not trying to be glib about it but in time even all these feelings will pass as you get things into perspective, if you can cope with pacing it will hopefully mean that you can join in family life more and get back into a new way of going.
I would recommend taking up a new hobby or interest and that way you can get out and about a little and meet new people.

Above all learn to interpretate what your body is telling you. rest when you can and approach any activity as little and often.

Soft hugs :bear-dancing:
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So hard

Postby mummatez » Mon Nov 03, 2014 4:06 pm

Oh how I feel for you. I've worked in care for 30 years, I'm now 45 and yesterday had to come home sick as I was in so much pain with back spasms. I've cut my hours down to 20ish but I'm starting to wonder how long I'll be able to keep this up. I'm so worried about money or lack of that I just keep pushing myself. I have every Monday off and always end up spending most of it flat on my back in bed sleeping. What kind of life is this and his is it fair on my wonderful OH.
I think your amazingly brave to make this decision and should be immensely proud of yourself xxx
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Re: It's Official. Giving Up Work.

Postby madchickenlady » Mon Nov 03, 2014 10:00 pm

gizsam wrote:I too work in the NHS madchickenlady, as a nurse, work were unable to accommodate shifts,as i was also doing the 12 hours shifts 3 times a week, they did look at redeployment but i felt that working 5 days was too much for me, i have really bad flares this year, so the only choice i had was to look at ill health retirement, i have a meeting on the 7th Nov with work, i am gutted as i have worked as a qualified nurse since 1995, i am so scared of the future with money etc, but i am beginning to see i need to do whats best for me, i am finding it hard that the person who has cared for others now needs caring.

My dad passed away in July after a very fast and aggressive rare cancer, which has hit my very hard, thats another story.

My wonderful partner said to my last night, at least you will remember the last person you nursed, i looked at him, and he said your dad, well i havent stop crying since,and i think that a lovely way of looking at it

Take Care

Cat xx


So sorry that you lost your Dad not very long ago,it is bound to have hit you hard and will take time to come to terms with, it may be that the stress of your dads illness has brought on the flares you are experiencing :(
I am a Healthcare assistant and so far my job have been ok but I think that their patience is running out, I got a letter on Friday to tell me I have to go to a sickness review meeting with my matron and the manager of HR and then goes on to say that I could get a written warning about my sickness levels and I have been told by someone else its three strikes and you are out, they know I have a chronic illness but this doesn't seem to matter, I am really getting stressed out about it now as I can't afford to lose my job, I would also struggle to work 5 days a week so I am hoping they don't suggest that, my phased return to work has gone ok but I am knackered and finding it tough, I am still doing short shifts because I also have holiday to use up but i am dreading going back to my long days
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