Feeling emotional and self conscious.

All your fibromyalgia experiences, questions and answers.

Moderators: perseus, *Lisa*, FluppyPuffy

Feeling emotional and self conscious.

Postby JDWench » Mon Nov 03, 2014 10:32 am

Due to this flare up which is still on going and perfectly alternating between extreme fatigue and agony I'm having to use Kiera (my walking stick) now, I was born without part of my left arm and hand, ask me questions about that and it's fine, I'll even make jokes but ask me about my stick and I'm likely to cry or hit you with it. I've not used it at uni yet so it's going to draw attention, I'm so emotional today due to this flare that I'm really not up to answering questions especially when I can't even answer the one "what's wrong?" Because nobody knows! I also feel like people are trying to find what's wrong, I tend to use it when I lose sensation in my right leg and have back pain because having to move the stick as I walk distracts me and also helps me to know when to lift my right foot so I don't trip. I basically look like I'm walking fine but without it I'm Bambi.
I really don't feel up to coping today and that's not me, I'm a fighter.
Help me raise money for Reach http://www.justgiving.com/Sadie-Scott1
JDWench
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 107
Joined: Thu Feb 20, 2014 2:25 pm

Re: Feeling emotional and self conscious.

Postby muggles10559 » Mon Nov 03, 2014 11:52 am

Just remember Bambi was beautiful and so are you xxx
muggles10559
UKFM Newbie
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Nov 03, 2014 11:06 am

Re: Feeling emotional and self conscious.

Postby dazzleship » Mon Nov 03, 2014 1:44 pm

hi

:hugs:

it's very easy to feel self conscious about using mobility aids. but just remember that the only person who needs to know why you're using it is you. it is not anyone else's business. :-)

if anyone does ask and you have to say something, can you just say back pain and loss of balance, something simple like that? it's always so hard trying to explain fibro.

you are still a fighter, just some battles are easier than others. you'll get through this.

take care of yourself, I hope your flare eases off soon. xx
dazzleship
User avatar
dazzleship
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 460
Joined: Fri Jun 20, 2014 10:40 pm
Location: scotland

Re: Feeling emotional and self conscious.

Postby Helhit » Mon Nov 03, 2014 2:09 pm

I know exactly how you feel. It is upsetting as it means your illness is on show and people are curious as you don't look ill.

I work in retail and I'm welcoming people whilst some days using my stick and on others without it. This totally confuses them. I explain every time that I have fibro as I think it's important to educate people about the condition.

I now go to work on Gladys my new mobility scooter and I'm getting funny looks too. I just say Iv got new wheels and then if they're still interested ill explain what I've got.

Today Gladyss battery dislodged just as I was coming through the door then she point blank refused to move!. I looked a right Charlie, but I tried to laugh it off.

I'm normally a positive person but fibro would challenge a saint

Do not be ashamed - hold your head up high and wwhack em with Keira if they get on your nerves!!!
Fibro is like the wind. You can't see it and when it flares up it knocks you off your feet!
Helhit
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 160
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2014 4:52 pm

Re: Feeling emotional and self conscious.

Postby JDWench » Mon Nov 03, 2014 2:23 pm

I usually laugh it off but teenagers can be cruel, everyone's left me alone but the bus from uni will be packed and you can guarantee I'll be standing.
Glady's sounds wonderful! I've been wondering about asking student support for a "granny wagon" to get me up campus on bad days but I'be been ok until now.
I'm working with a couple of the young ones later and I'm dreading the questions but I'll probably laugh it off, or kneecap them for making me feel uncomfortable :twisted:
Help me raise money for Reach http://www.justgiving.com/Sadie-Scott1
JDWench
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 107
Joined: Thu Feb 20, 2014 2:25 pm

Re: Feeling emotional and self conscious.

Postby Helhit » Mon Nov 03, 2014 4:58 pm

We should not have to walk around with a sign telling the nosy what's wrong with us, but it feels all the time like we should.

When we went on holiday and had to use the airport bus I would get out my walking stick and make sure I looked totally knackered - it was an award winning performance, but each time someone would stand up and insist on giving me their seat - much to my kids' annoyance. I generally guilt trip people into helping me. I'm quite brazen about it - you've got to have some perks :lol:

I live just outside Blackpool in a senior citizen haven - they're everywhere. What I've found though us that they understand much more when someone is suffering. I've been asked about 10 times today how I'm doing, as I'm quite open about what's wrong with me. I was coming home from work (I'm on a phased return and couldn't cope today, but that's another story) using old glad as my trusty steed. But something s wrong with her connections and she kept on conking out. So there I was fiddling with her battery when an old dear came up on her scooter to see if she could help. Then I dropped my stick and another lady came over to help. I even had an old boy who looked about 80 odd ask if i could make it up the kerb or did I need a hand. Humbling really.

My daughter loves glad, she's 16 and at college. She rode her to our friends here for Halloween and then back again. She even wants to ride her to college - strange child!
Use whatever you need to get by, Def get a Gladys and try your acting skills the next time you want a seat.
Fibro is like the wind. You can't see it and when it flares up it knocks you off your feet!
Helhit
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 160
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2014 4:52 pm

Re: Feeling emotional and self conscious.

Postby iblinkin » Mon Nov 03, 2014 5:15 pm

Hi JDWench, I'm sorry you are feeling so bad, this fibro sure knows how to kick us in the butt just to remind us it's still there.

I am the same, i loathe using a device for walking as my pride has a habit of getting in the way and have tolerated terrible pain and people can be very cruel.

I have a handicap permit and there are times when i foolishly try and do without my cane and have had people yell at me for taking a handicap spot.. unbelievable and yes i know they are only trying to help stop the abuse of these spots, they just don't realise that they are being abusive themselves.

Emotions.. i guess i am not the only one here who has trouble with their emotions. I had to have my best little buddy Scottie a little terrier put down on Friday due to cancer and still can't stop crying even while typing this. I miss him so much and it hurts real bad. :(

Still trying to smile though...

I also want to thank everyone for having me here even though i am from Canada my roots are from the U.K. and feel a certain kinship.

Stay strong and have the best day you can. :-)
iblinkin
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 140
Joined: Tue Jun 24, 2014 11:37 pm

Re: Feeling emotional and self conscious.

Postby Zia2014 » Mon Nov 03, 2014 5:18 pm

Aw JDWench sometimes we just have days when we aren't up to talking about it. Maybe you could rehearse a response in case you get any questions? I'd personally say something like "sorry but I'm not up to talking about it today, thanks for asking though". I still haven't managed to get my head around using a stick yet, particularly as I have so much trouble/pain in my right hand and wrist. But I know I'll have the exact same thoughts when I do.

iblinkin wrote:I had to have my best little buddy Scottie a little terrier put down on Friday due to cancer and still can't stop crying even while typing this. I miss him so much and it hurts real bad. :(


Oh blimey, no wonder you're upset. I am so sorry x :hugs:
Zia2014
UKFM Regular
 
Posts: 1033
Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2014 2:55 pm

Re: Feeling emotional and self conscious.

Postby iblinkin » Mon Nov 03, 2014 5:46 pm

Thank you Zia2014, that means a lot to me.
iblinkin
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 140
Joined: Tue Jun 24, 2014 11:37 pm

Re: Feeling emotional and self conscious.

Postby JDWench » Mon Nov 03, 2014 7:30 pm

Iblinkin, that's so sad, hope you're doing the best you can during this difficult period.

I do tend to use my stick as authority but it doesn't work on trains! Commuters are generally jumped up office toffs who feel their precious laptop is more important than a struggling person having a seat.
nobody said anything today, had a few weird looks but that's fine. If I hadn't have had Kiera I'd be doing a lot of falling over! Thought I was feeling better until I stood up and got wobbly! Now for the hour and a half commute home, more like 2 and a bit once I've waited for my bus the other end!
Help me raise money for Reach http://www.justgiving.com/Sadie-Scott1
JDWench
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 107
Joined: Thu Feb 20, 2014 2:25 pm

Re: Feeling emotional and self conscious.

Postby dazzleship » Mon Nov 03, 2014 9:13 pm

iblinkin wrote:I had to have my best little buddy Scottie a little terrier put down on Friday due to cancer and still can't stop crying even while typing this. I miss him so much and it hurts real bad. :(


ohh, that's so sad I'm so sorry to hear that iblinkin :cry: it's so hard to lose a pet, I understand how much you will be missing him.

sending you huge :hugs:
dazzleship
User avatar
dazzleship
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 460
Joined: Fri Jun 20, 2014 10:40 pm
Location: scotland

Re: Feeling emotional and self conscious.

Postby iblinkin » Mon Nov 03, 2014 9:30 pm

Thank you both for the kind words, he was a good little man who we believe thought he was human and in some ways he was actually and certainly better than some people i have met in my time.

Today my heart is broken...
iblinkin
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 140
Joined: Tue Jun 24, 2014 11:37 pm

Re: Feeling emotional and self conscious.

Postby JDWench » Mon Nov 03, 2014 9:55 pm

There are no words we can say that'll make the grieving process any easier but the loss of a pet is exactly the same as losing a human member of the family. We're all here for you when you need us. Xxx
Help me raise money for Reach http://www.justgiving.com/Sadie-Scott1
JDWench
UKFM Member
 
Posts: 107
Joined: Thu Feb 20, 2014 2:25 pm


Return to Living with Fibromyalgia

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 13 guests